She shook it. “I’m Tanya Grant.”
“What?” I cut in to the moment. “Tanya Grant? That’s…that’s Nan,” I realized. “Holy shit.”
“Yep.” Clay smiled. “Your grandfather was quite the storyteller.”
“You mean he was quite the liar.” I laughed.
“You disappointed?” Clay asked.
“Honestly, a little bit. That wasn’t smooth at all.”
“No. No, it wasn’t.” Clay laughed.
Clay snapped his fingers and made it all disappear. He brought me back to the tree house. As we came back I could feel my stomach turn. We stared at each other for a few seconds, and then laughed beneath the stars. I wondered what else I could find out about Grampy. It was clear to me that not all of his stories were as he told them, but I guess people aren’t always the stories they tell, and sometimes you have to seek out the truth you’re after. I wanted to find out more.
“You know a lot more about him, don’t you?” I asked.
“I do,” Clay confirmed. “But we need to take it slow, you got a little nauseous last time, right?”
“I was,” I said. “I’m feeling a bit queasy right now, to be honest.”
“Then we should take a break.”
He was right. I mean, it didn’t look like I was going anywhere for a while. I suppose taking things slow wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world, and to be honest I enjoyed the view we were sharing. I thought it was funny I found out the truth about Grampy meeting Nan. I was glad I got to unravel his ego a little bit, and I got to do it with an old friend.
Clay turned to look at me. He didn’t say anything at first but looked up towards the stars. “Is it true you can’t see the stars in the city?” he asked.
“For the most part, yes.”
“Why would anyone want to live there?”
“I asked myself that for ten years.”
I sighed. “I missed so much about this place.”
“Then why don’t you want to stay?” Clay asked.
That was a good question. But admiring your hometown doesn’t mean you want to live in it forever.
“I used to love this place—so, so much. But now that I’m back, I feel like I came back to a memory that doesn’t really…remember me,” I tried to explain. “I’ve always been a seeker, trying to find meaning in one thing or another.” I looked at the journal. “And I always wanted to learn more about my grandfather. Seeing his journal entry labelled ‘Coming to Canada’ makes me want to figure out more. But knowing that he tore pages out…who knows.”
“That could be the next adventure you seek,” Clay suggested.
“I remember I spent a lot of time seeking you, out here. Remember our classic hide-and-seek games? They would last hours.” I poked him and smiled.
“I always won.”
“Oh, sorry. Not everyone can turn invisible.” I shook my head and laughed.
“I miss those days.” He grinned.
“What’s the harm in giving it another go?” I threw that thought into the universe.
“Aren’t you too old for that type of thing?”
“Clearly I’m not too old for an imaginary friend.”
“Clearly.” He grinned. “All right, I’ll take you up on that.”
Clay and I slid down the ladder of the tree house. Once I got to the bottom I asked, “All right then, who’s It?”
I looked over and Clay had already vanished.
“I guess that’s me.”
I turned to the tree and covered my eyes. Everything felt surreal. I took a breath and began to count.
“One.”
The first year away had been the hardest. I thought about Clay every day. I thought about Nan and Grampy every day too. Adjusting was really difficult. I didn’t like Halifax. You couldn’t see the stars when the moon made its way to the sky. Mom said it was because of the lights all around. But to me, it was because there was nothing magic about that place. There was too much noise. We lived in a small apartment where you could hear people talking and music playing from the bar nearby all night. I just wanted to be home, with a lake and a tree house. We never did visit that summer.
“Two.”
The second year we were away, Mom said we would visit Yarmouth that summer instead. I was excited to see Clay, and I remember waiting through the entire winter thinking that the warm weather would bring me home. But once summer hit, Mom was behind—she had been working full time on top of going to school. She ended up doing a summer semester and couldn’t get any time off. I was heartbroken, and I think she was too. Not because we couldn’t go, but because she broke a promise to me. I remember feeling so awful. I cried for two weeks. I knew Clay would be waiting. I just knew he was. I had told him I would be back soon, and now I was heartbroken because I knew I let him down.
“Three.”
I made my first real friend. Her name was Cassie, and for a while she was the only friend I had. I wasn’t the most talkative person in class because back in Yarmouth everyone had made fun of my name because it was different. When I started school in Halifax I didn’t want to be Annaka anymore. I just wanted to be Anna. Mom was always a bit upset about my name change—she told me the name Annaka meant a lot to her, but I never thought to ask why. I guess I thought maybe I would just…find out some day.
“Four.”
It was the first time I ever asked about my father. My family tree was always missing a piece, considering that Mom kept it a mystery. I always thought that time would fill the space but deep down, a part of me felt like we were running from the void. I remember seeing Mom’s reaction to the question she wasn’t ready for. She was painting a portrait, and she stopped immediately. She brought me to the living room of the apartment and
