That, too, should have settled it. But she couldn’t shake thecloud of nerves that felt almost as big as her desire. “I don’t mean to ruinthe moment, but…”
When she didn’t finish, Amanda looked into her eyes. “What is it?Talk to me.”
She frowned. “It’s just, well, it’s been a while.”
Amanda’s worried look turned quizzical. “A while since what?”
Oh, God. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. Flounderingwould be better than talking about it. “Since I…you know.”
“Had sex?”
Yep. Definitely would have been better if she hadn’t saidanything. “Yes.”
“But haven’t you been dating constantly for the last year?”
Quinn closed her eyes. “Dating. Fix-ups. Not relationships.”
“Oh.” Amanda let the word drag out. Understanding, yes, but Quinncouldn’t tell if there was sympathy or judgment or something else there withit.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t ready, I guess? Or there was no spark? Ormaybe both?” Stop rambling. It’s only getting worse.
“But you feel a spark with me?”
Air rushed out of Quinn’s lungs. “Have I not made that obvious?”
Amanda’s eyes danced. “I’d say you have. And do you want to behere, with me, right now?”
“I do.” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d wantedsomething so badly.
“Okay. See, that wasn’t so hard.”
Ha.
“Do you want to take me to bed?”
“If you’re not completely turned off by how badly I’m fumblingthis, yes.”
Amanda’s smile was slow. In it, desire and invitation andreassurance. “Then that’s what I think you should do.”
Was it as simple as that? Obviously, it was. It could be. Shouldbe. She was just so fucking out of practice. “Okay.”
She took Amanda’s hand and stood. The bedroom wasn’t far, so sheheld on for the short distance. She’d left the lamp in the corner on, just incase. It cast a soft glow over the room. A compromise really, since candlesfelt presumptuous.
“Quinn?”
The way Amanda said her name sent a tingle up her spine. “Yes?”
“If you’re not ready, or at any point change your mind, it’sokay. I get that it’s a big deal because I’ve been there myself. Recently, as amatter of fact.”
Amanda was giving her an out, one she could take and maybe notblow any chance they might have at a next time. The funny thing was, she didn’twant an out. Or rather, the funny thing was Amanda’s offering it confirmed anout wasn’t what she wanted. “I won’t change my mind.”
“Still, I want you to know you can and I—”
Rather than letting Amanda finish, Quinn pulled her into a kiss.It started gentle but took on all the heat and urgency that had been pumpingthrough her veins a moment before. The desire that had been clanging aroundinside her for weeks. “I want you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you sincewe met.”
“You don’t have to say—”
Once again, Quinn silenced her with a kiss. “Let me show you.”
Amanda’s mouth under hers tethered her to the moment and quietedthe voices, the questions, in her mind. Not questions about whether she wantedthis, but the ones that needled her about being so out of practice. Amanda’shand slid up her back, her nails scratched lightly at the back of Quinn’s neck.Again, just the encouragement she needed.
She threaded her fingers into Amanda’s hair and used the gentlegrip to angle Amanda’s head. She took the kiss deeper, exploring Amanda’s mouthwith her tongue. Amanda let out this tiny moan, like she knew it was exactlythe sort of sound that would drive Quinn crazy. It gave her the confidence toslip her hands under the hem of Amanda’s shirt, ease it up and over her head.
The result—Amanda standing in front of her in a lacy bra and withmessy hair—was the sexiest thing she’d seen in as long as she could remember.Now being nervous didn’t matter. All that mattered was this moment and makingAmanda feel half as good as she made Quinn feel, even before having sex.
She trailed a line of kisses down Amanda’s neck, across hercollar bone, and down to the edge of her bra. She traced the lace with hertongue, letting her hands creep up to cup Amanda’s breasts from underneath. Shegrazed her thumbs over Amanda’s nipples. The way they hardened under her touchmade her throat go dry.
“So beautiful.”
She could sense Amanda’s head shake and looked up. Amanda heldher gaze for only a second before looking away.
“Surely, you don’t think otherwise.” She wanted to see the restof Amanda, touch her everywhere. Show her exactly how beautiful she was. Shetugged at the bow holding Amanda’s skirt in place and stepped back to watch thefabric slither to the floor. Amanda’s panties, a soft green lace, matched herbra. “Not beautiful. Stunning.”
Amanda crossed her arms over her stomach. “You’re going to makeme bashful.”
The moment of vulnerability took her by surprise. She wrapped herfingers around Amanda’s wrists and gently pulled her arms away from her body.“Stunning.”
Before Amanda could protest, Quinn kissed her again. And againafter that. Or maybe, technically, she didn’t stop kissing her. Still grippingAmanda’s wrists, she walked slowly toward the bed. Amanda followed her leadwordlessly. She didn’t know exactly what she expected Amanda to be like in bed,but tractable wasn’t it. The surprise was as much a turn-on as the idea ofbeing in charge. “Do you want to tell me what you want, what you like?”
Amanda bit her lip and shook her head without breaking eyecontact.
“Are you being shy or do you like someone else running the show?”
An extra gleam appeared in her eyes as she nodded.
Just when she thought it impossible to be turned on any more.“Yes? To both?”
Another nod. “I don’t have to be, if—”
Quinn pressed a finger to her lips. “I want you to be exactlywhat you want to be. You just have to tell me if something isn’t good, okay?”
This time she smiled. “Okay.”
Even though it was their first time, she trusted Amanda to behonest. And being able to do things her way, at her pace, gave her confidence.She eased Amanda onto the bed and joined her. She continued kissing her, takingbreaks here and there to explore her neck, the line of her shoulder, the swellof her breasts peeking over the top of her bra. Amanda sighed and made more ofthose perfect little
