He shrugged, clearly not inclined to analyze her decisions todeath. “It’s cool. I’m sure I’ll see her soon.”
She had to laugh. He made it sound so easy. “I’ll let her knowyou asked about her.”
“Did you guys have a good time?”
Amanda took a deep breath. The truth was she couldn’t rememberhaving a more relaxing weekend. Even without all the sex. Quinn had this way ofgetting her to slow down, unplug. She hadn’t realized how bad she’d gotten atdoing that. “We did.”
“Good. You don’t have enough fun.”
The comment hit home, almost as much as Cal asking about Quinn inthe first place. “I have fun.”
He gave her an exasperated look. “You know what I mean.”
She could argue with him, but he was right. She wasn’t uptight,exactly, but between parenting and owning a business, she had a hard time shuttingoff. “Okay, okay.”
“I think it’s good for you, that’s all.”
He didn’t say it, but she could tell he meant Quinn was good forher. That hit home, too. Perhaps all the neat little compartments she’d createdin her life weren’t so neat after all.
Chapter Twenty-four
After storing her camping gear and putting on a load oflaundry, Quinn showered and put on fresh clothes. She made a cup of tea andpicked up a book but couldn’t seem to focus. She set it down and turned on thetelevision, which only made matters worse.
The worst part was not knowing which part of the last few hoursmade her feel worse—Amanda’s comment about their relationship or the fact thatAmanda was going through this hugely stressful thing and Quinn wasn’t doinganything to make it better. She huffed out a breath and got up to pace.Definitely the latter. Not helping made every helper fiber of her being standon edge.
She stopped pacing. That was it. She’d help. Surely, there wassomething she could do. She picked up her phone. After deleting three differentversions, she finally hit send.
How’s Cal?How are you? Can I do/bring you anything?
Maybe it was overeager, but whatever.
Doing something calmed her nerves. She picked up her book againand managed to read a few pages before checking for a reply. After the fifth orsixth time of doing it, she set her phone down in disgust, only to have itchirp.
He’s good,all things considered. I’m going to stay until they kick me out for the night.
She hadn’t realized how worried she was until the news sent awave of relief through her. She reread the message, searching for context thatwasn’t there. Can I bringyou dinner? A change of clothes?
Amanda’s reply came immediately. Thanks for offering, but I won’t be staying too late.
Quinn couldn’t repress a sigh. Getting confirmation she wasn’tneeded sucked worse than feeling helpless in the first place. Ok. Let me know if you think ofanything.
The typing bubble appeared, but then vanished. Seconds ticked by,but no text came through. She went to switch her laundry, purposefully leavingher phone on the counter. It took all of two minutes, but she tapped the screenthe second she got back.
You couldcome visit tomorrow. Cal should be released in the morning and he asked whereyou were. ;)
She might have preferred if Amanda specifically wanted her there,but Cal was a close second. And while the winky face could have been read anynumber of ways, she decided to read it as a playful, you’re part of the familygesture. That would begreat.
Amanda didn’t reply, so she set her phone aside. She resumedpacing, but more slowly. This time, instead of freaking out, she consideredwhat it would be like to actually be part of Amanda’s family. Her kids werebeyond the age of needing—or wanting, probably—a stepparent. And given what sheknew about Mel, she wasn’t eager to be in any sort of competition with her.
Was it possible to carve out a space of her own? She sighed. Itmight be more fair to ask if Amanda had any inclination to carve out space forher and, if so, what that space would look like. Especially since Daniellaseemed so on the fence about her. Or on the fence about her mother dating atall. Hard to say. And not really her place to say.
That was the problem. Even at her boldest and most self-assured,a lot of it wasn’t hers to decide. She just had to put herself out there andhope for the best. The prospect, complete with having so little control overthe situation, terrified her.
The thing was, she was pretty sure Amanda was worth it. No, thatwasn’t accurate. Amanda was worth it. It was whether or not their relationshiphad enough potential to be worth it. It was the first time she’d needed to askthat question since her divorce.
Still. Things with Amanda felt different. For the first time in along time, she felt inspired. Inspired to be adventurous. Inspired to take achance. And perhaps most importantly and most terrifyingly of all, inspired tofall in love.
* * *
By the time Mel returned, Cal had fallen asleep and Amanda wasstruggling to stay awake. It had been an exceedingly eventful couple of days.Mel gave her a tender look that she did her best to ignore. “Ready?”
Amanda glanced at Cal. If she hadn’t known he’d just had surgery,she wouldn’t have guessed it. Oh, to have the resilience of an eighteen-year-old.“I guess so.”
“I can tell you don’t want to leave, but he’s fine. And you’ll dohim more good tomorrow if you’re well rested.”
Mel was right. She wasn’t about a lot of stuff, but she was aboutthis. “I know.”
“Come on.” Mel extended her hand.
She took it, but only because she could honestly use the helphefting herself out of the low chair. “Thanks.”
Before she could let go, Mel pulled her into a hug. “You doingokay?”
She let herself soak in the comfort it offered, but only for asecond. She one hundred percent did not want to give the wrong impression. Shetook a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “I am. I’m sorry you had to dothis alone.”
“We’re a team, remember?”
Funny how they didn’t feel like a team so much of the time theywere married.
