He kisses my forehead and leaves me, closing the door behind him.
It’s too quiet. It’s too bright. I’m mad at myself once again for sabotaging myself. Why can’t I be good? It seems like I’m getting worse. Every day, I’ve done something naughty. Today I’m on a roll, though.
I squirm beneath the sheets, hyper aware of the fact that I’m not wearing much. My nipples pebble from the friction against the sheets. I try to lie still so that I don’t torment myself. I slide my hands to my belly and close my eyes, trying not to think about Master Kellen holding me.
It feels so good when I’m on his lap or curled up against him or when he sets his hand on my thigh. I love the attention. Like he really wants to be near me. But he’s left me alone in my room now for I don’t know how long. And it’s my fault.
It would be so easy to play with my nipples under the comforter or even slide my hand lower and stroke my clit. I’m tempted. I need the release. It would help me relax. I imagine the consequences would be brutal though. Even though I could possibly get away with touching myself, I would never be able to hide my facial expression from the camera as I got closer to orgasm.
So, I thread my fingers together against my stomach and force myself to hold still. I’m far too frustrated to fall asleep, but I can use this time to think about what I will write in my journal next time.
Even as I grow tired from the boredom, I don’t let myself sleep. I won’t give Master Kellen the satisfaction. If I really think about it, I don’t believe he has put me down for a nap because I was naughty earlier. He’s done this because I’m four today. I bet it was always in the plan.
It’s my fault that I’m not permitted to leave the room until he comes back for me though. And my eyes keep getting heavy. I try so hard to stay awake, but eventually, I can’t fight it anymore.
Chapter 15
One week later…
Master Kellen
“Sabine,” I yell as she races past my office on her way down the hall.
She returns to my line of sight and slowly enters my office, hands behind her back, head down.
“What have I said about running in the house?”
“Sorry, Sir.”
“How many times are we going to have this conversation?”
Her shoulders droop farther.
“Go stand in the corner.” I point to the corner where she spends more time every day. As she shuffles her feet begrudgingly toward the corner, I watch her.
I’m not sure what to do with her. She’s a conundrum. The first few days she tested me only a few times. Every day since then, she has added incrementally to her defiance. It’s perplexing because she has no rhyme or reason to her random acts. They come out of the blue.
I try not to let it get to me, but I’m concerned about my ability to dominate her. Or hell, anyone’s ability, for that matter. She seems to get aroused easily and often when she’s in her little space, but she can’t seem to behave long enough to earn the pleasure I’d rather be doling out than spankings.
I’ve considered the possibility that she isn’t suited to be a little. I tossed out that idea quickly. It would seem more likely that she’s simply bratty, which will make it easy to end this arrangement on Saturday as planned. I don’t want a brat.
I’m constantly torn. As much as I find her sweet side endearing, I don’t care for her defiant side. I’m attracted to her physically. She’s sexy as hell when I get her naked and watch her squirm, though my opportunities to touch her have been few because she hasn’t earned my touch.
I’ve considered the possibility that she acts out because she doesn’t want me to touch her. That idea floats through my mind a few times every day. There are littles who simply enjoy being young and don’t need anything about their roleplay to be sexual. I’ve tossed that idea out over and over too, because Sabine obviously gets aroused from my touch. Her body reacts beautifully when I bathe her, rock her, and when I tuck her into bed at night. She loves to be held and cuddled.
It’s also possible she doesn’t like my rule that we aren’t going to have sex for these two weeks. Maybe having an orgasm without penetration leaves her more frustrated than not being granted that small measure of pleasure in the first place. I haven’t known women to turn down orgasms though. Hell, many would be more than happy if their other half would pleasure them daily without wanting anything in return.
Why the hell is she so naughty though? She turns on a dime. One minute she’s sweet and angelic. The next, she’s breaking a rule and standing in the corner.
I jump to another consideration. Maybe she likes to be spanked? Maybe she enjoys timeouts? There are definitely women who enjoy being spanked, and certainly some don’t derive sexual release from the spanking. But that makes no damn sense either, since she squirms on my lap and ends up panting and wet by the time I’m done.
In the past week, I’ve dealt with running inside, cussing, whining, begging, and arguing. It’s exasperating, and it never ends. The girl is always contrite afterward to the point of tears. She gets embarrassed easily and lowers her head in shame at her actions. I don’t think it’s all an act.
I’ve spoken to Julius and Roman about her and neither has had any advice to offer that differs from everything I’ve already tried. They’re as perplexed as I am.
I really
