She had hundreds of likes. And the comments… I wish I’d never looked. Both at the comments that congratulated her, saying what a great couple they made, and even worse, the comments that implied Cassius was too good for her. He’d be fucking lucky to have her.
I’d be fucking lucky to have her.
What was I doing?
I wanted Raine Laurent.
I wanted her to be mine.
The revelation seared straight through me, and I knew I had to get out of there. I couldn’t stomach seeing her with him in person. Not now. Not ever.
The next morning, the revelation still burned through me. Confusion, anger, and jealousy had warred within me all night, leaving me unable to sleep. I’d driven around aimlessly for hours when it was clear my head was too fucked up to think straight. Then as soon as I was home, the same thoughts were still running rampant in my head. Hence the lack of sleep.
The school day passed in a blur. To make things worse, Raine’s name was on everyone’s lips again, after someone had posted the picture of her and Cassius on the AHS gossip account. This time, though, it was more…envious. Envy that someone like her had managed to attract the attention of Cassius Drummond. Every time I heard someone make a malicious comment, I had to bite my tongue, and by the end of the day, I was wound up so tightly, I needed to work out my frustrations or I was going to snap.
Instead of going to my final class, I headed to the gym so I could lose myself in the mindless routine of weight training, before I met up with the rest of the football team for our additional training session.
The gym didn’t help. All it did was give me a pounding headache. We had a massive game the following week against Highnam Academy, and I had to use every opportunity to practice, but I couldn’t seem to focus during training.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kian hissed, after I’d let myself get taken down by a slide tackle I should’ve seen coming a mile off. “This game is gonna be our make-or-break game, not to mention it’s the first one I’m allowed to play in since my suspension. You’re the captain—get your shit together.”
“I know.” I scrubbed a hand down my face, defeated.
The coach blew his whistle for a break, and we jogged over to the side of the pitch, grabbing our bottles of water.
“Do you want me to set up a fight?” Kian asked in a low tone, after looking around him to make sure no one was paying us any attention.
“Yeah. Or…fuck, I don’t know. My head’s fucked up right now,” I muttered.
He studied me closely, pulling his lip ring between his teeth. “You know what…you haven’t been the same since Halloween. Did something happen then?” His voice lowered further, and he shuffled his feet. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”
I was taken aback. Conversations like this between me and Kian didn’t happen. Ever. We didn’t get deep. From his worried expression, though, I knew he wouldn’t let it drop, and it was killing me to keep all this inside. I made a snap decision to confide in him. “That girl I was with at Fright Night? It was Raine.”
His head whipped up to mine, his eyes wide. “What the fuck? No way! But she was like, hot as fuck.”
“Yeah, she was,” I agreed. Is, I added in my head.
His gaze sharpened. “I see. It’s obvious now.”
“What’s obvious?” I tried to tamp down the rising panic that was threatening to engulf me.
“You want her.”
I stared at him. “How…” I trailed off.
“Come on, I’m not blind. I see the way you look at her. I’ve seen the two of you together, at the party and, y’know, the photos and stuff. And let’s not forget our fight over her. Remember? My first practice after my suspension?”
“I remember,” I gritted out, but he hadn’t finished speaking.
“I just hadn’t realised you’d had a thing for her for so long.” He grinned. “You know she’s with Cassius Drummond now, right?”
“She is not.” My voice came out as a low, challenging growl, and Kian laughed.
“You’ve got it bad. What’s stopping you? Think it would be weird with Ana—wait, do you still want Ana?”
“What? Ana? I already told you I was never going back there again.”
“Just checking. Okay, so what’s the problem, then?”
“She’s…she’s been targeted because of me. All the fucking rumours.”
“Rumours which you started,” he commented dryly. “So what about the rumours? People will get over it.”
My mouth twisted, and my shoulders slumped. “I just don’t want her to be hurt because of me.”
“That’s all very noble of you, but shouldn’t that be her decision as well?” He swigged from his water bottle, running his hand over his mouth, before returning his attention to me.
I sighed and filled in the rest of the gaps. “It’s not only that. There’s the fact that my parents are always on my case comparing me to her.”
His eyes darkened, and I held my breath, knowing that parents were a touchy subject for him. His parents…they were selfish assholes, to put it bluntly. “Who gives a fuck what your parents think? Seriously, mate? That’s just…” He shook his head, his frustration and disappointment clear.
A grimace crossed my face. “You know how they are. Fuck. It sounds really stupid when I say it out loud, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, it really does. Sort your shit out, Carter. If you actually want to be with her, and she wants to be with you, man the fuck up and do it. Stop making bullshit excuses.”
I gaped at
