Plus, I don’t think he likes Mama. And I sense he’s mad at me. I also wonder if he got in trouble with Bronco. I saw the way Anders looked when the president man frowned at him. He doesn’t want to disappoint Bronco like I don’t want to upset Mama.
But I can’t worry about his feelings right now. My family needs to eat. Then they can shower and put on the clothes Anders likes. Once we’re clean in the way he wants, I’m certain he’ll frown less.
We finish the smashed potatoes and vegetables. Mama says the meat is too much for Future, but Dove eats a few bites. I find almond milk in the refrigerator that Jena brought last night. We drink almost half of the container.
“That’s enough for now,” Mama tells us. “We don’t want to vomit.”
I crawl over to Dove and lean her head against my chest. Her long, wavy brown hair hides her face. She’s as lifeless as a doll.
“There’s so much sun in Anders’s yard. After our shower, you can rest outside where it’s warm.”
“The stairs,” Mama says. “Future will try to climb them.”
Frowning, I whisper, “There are stairs that go down too.”
“I can get those gate things for babies,” Anders says from somewhere in the room. I can’t see past the kitchen’s center cabinets. How does such a big man hide? “I’ll make a list of stuff you need.”
After readjusting Dove, I crawl around the center cabinets to find Anders sitting on the floor near the front door. He hides his face in his big hands until I touch his head.
“Thank you,” I whisper, nuzzling my face against his.
Anders exhales deeply.
“Do you want us to leave?” I whisper.
His blue eyes lift to study my face. “Do you want to leave?”
“I want to be with you.”
Anders exhales deeply again, seeming very tired. “I need to think.”
“Then think, blond bear,” I say, kissing his forehead before crawling back to my family.
Mama shakes her head when I return.
“Where is this shower?” she asks.
“In his bedroom. It’s big enough for all of us.”
Mama’s eyes dance from side to side as she considers such a big shower. “That’ll save time.”
I smile at her pleased expression. She stands and carries Future. I help Dove to her feet. Then I hurry over to where the bag of clothes was left last night by the Topanga lady.
“She’s the wife of the important biker man,” I explain to Mama as we get naked. “I didn’t meet her.”
Mama wants to say something negative. She’s got that look on her face, but her focus switches to the many showerheads raining water down once I turn the knobs.
“It’s fun,” I say, tugging Dove under the water. “I’ll wash your hair.”
Future starts crying when he sees the shower. He thinks he’ll get in trouble for going in the rain. Yet, his cries turn to laughter once under the water.
For a long time, we play in the shower. Dove even smiles after she sits in the corner and lets the comfortably warm water relax her weak body. Future puts his face up and opens his mouth. Proud of himself, he claps. Mama smiles in a way I haven’t seen in months.
Even though I remain overwhelmed, I’m also overjoyed to see them so happy. For a short time, I forget about Anders’s bad mood and his biker men’s even worse ones.
There are several other concerns I avoid thinking about, too. Such as how none of the clothes Topanga brought will fit Future. Or that I don’t know where everyone will sleep tonight? Or what happens if Anders decides we need to leave his house?
I’m unfamiliar with making choices for my family. However, today, I’ll have to figure out a way to take care of everyone, including Anders.
ANDERS
There’s no disappearing with my size, but I feel invisible when Pixie takes her family to the master bathroom. I imagine them in my stone shower, having a ball like she did yesterday. I even hear them laughing.
And I’m out here alone with my nerves on fire. I need something—booze, pot, heroin, a bat over the head. I don’t care what happens as long as I can soothe my overstimulated brain. Every nerve in my body screams for relief. I won’t last long in this state.
The doorbell makes me flinch, and I ignore the sound. I can’t talk to anyone right now. If the Woodlands people see me losing control, they’ll rat me out to Bronco. How can I protect Pixie when I’m putting a target on my back?
Refusing to be denied, Topanga rings the doorbell a few more times just to make her point. If I don’t answer, she’ll jump the fence and come around to bang on my back door.
Relenting, I find Lowell’s longtime, big-mouthed blonde wife along with Bronco’s new, quieter-mouthed blonde wife. Both of them have their long hair pulled up in bouncy ponytails. They continue the twin mode with blue jeans and pink T-shirts.
Lana seems nervous to be here. The club life is new to her, and she isn’t naturally friendly. I like her, though. She makes Bronco happy, and he deserves to have the best. As the top guy, he makes sure we enjoy our lives.
Topanga is one of the friendliest people I’ve ever met. She both annoys and charms me. When I was bunking at the apartment building with the bunnies, Topanga showed up to make sure I had clothes and food. She was so warm that I never realized she was spying for Bronco and Lowell.
Now, her big lips curve into a smile as she bats her blue eyes at me. “Anders Van Der Haas, look at you saving a little hippie girl.”
I roll my eyes like a dumb kid getting teased by his aunt. Shutting the door behind them, I notice a big white plastic bag hanging from Topanga’s hand.
“Where are they?” she asks, glancing around the family room.
“In the shower.”
“Together?” she mumbles and then nods before I
