“They are not random andirrational, they just look it,” Zoe said, trying to be patient as sheexplained, even though she felt the tug of his question holding her back. Sheneeded to keep thinking, to follow this train of thought to the end. “Just likepi. We have no idea how to understand the sequence, no rule to follow to seehow the sequence repeats. But that does not mean there is no rule, only that wedo not yet understand it. And we are the same. We do not understand yet therule behind these murders.”
“Isn’t that kind of the point of amurder investigation?” Flynn asked, screwing his face up. “Finding out who didit and why? I don’t see what that has to do with pi. It’s the same for everycase.”
Zoe shook her head, turning aroundin a circle as she tried to think. “You do not get it. It is deeper thanthat. More involved.” He couldn’t see what she was talking about. Was thereeven any point in trying to explain it? No one understood what she was talkingabout half the time anyway, and this was far more complex than what she wasnormally trying to say. “This is almost philosophical. A search for a patternwhere there seems to be none. Making the irrational rational, at least in amathematical way; there is not much in the way of rational thought involvedwhen you are killing someone over a formula.”
“Jesus, I’m starting to think youactually might be crazy,” Flynn said. Zoe wasn’t looking at him anymore, didn’tbother trying to read his expression. “Wait a minute, what’s that?”
Zoe turned again to see Flynncrouching down by her, reaching out for something that glinted in the light ashe picked it up. Zoe recognized it immediately, went to snatch it back. Herblister pack.
Flynn held it out of her reacheasily, using the advantage of her height, as he squinted up to read the nameprinted across the packaging in a repeated motif. “Agent Prime, are theseanti-depressants?”
Zoe’s mouth worked without soundfor a moment. Her instinct was to lie. But a quick Google search was all thatwould be needed to uncover the truth, and she had given herself away by reachingfor them. Not that she would have let them go unclaimed. They would have to beentered into evidence, form a red herring that could totally derail the case.She had to be honest. The pills didn’t belong to the killer. They were hers.
“Yes,” Zoe finally ground out. “Butthat is private. Give it back.”
“Why do you need it back?” Flynnasked. “It’s empty. Hold on—you’ve been taking these while we’ve been workingthe case?”
“That is my business,” Zoe saidsullenly. She resisted the urge to reach for the blister pack again, feelinglike a kid with her books being wrenched away from her by the bullies atschool.
“No, I think it’s my business too,”Flynn said flatly. The pack went into his pocket, away from her view. “You weredrinking last night. That means you were mixing alcohol and medication while onthe job.”
Zoe said nothing. She looked atthe ground, seeing the number of leaves that had freshly fallen. There wasnothing she could say.
“Jesus Christ.” Flynn barked out alaugh, though it didn’t sound humorous at all. “I wondered how you managed toget yourself so drunk in the few minutes I was gone. Pills and alcohol. Prime,you could have died. If I had known what was going on I would have taken you tothe hospital to get your stomach pumped.”
Zoe felt like rolling her eyes. “Thatis a little melodramatic,” she said. “I was not in any danger. I only had onedrink.”
“And you were acting like you’dhad twenty.” Flynn paused, looking over to where the sheriff and her team weremarking out a perimeter with crime scene tape. The muscle in his jaw flexed, ahabitual movement that Zoe was subconsciously tracking: three times now. “I can’twait until the case is over to report this. I have to do it now.”
“What?” Zoe snapped, her eyesgoing to his as he turned back to face her. “You cannot do that. We are soclose to catching the killer. He has already taken three lives.”
“And I’ll continue trying to stophim on my own, and when they send out a replacement agent I’ll be able to getthem up to speed so we can get this done,” he said firmly. “You are in nocondition to be working. You shouldn’t be on the job if you’re having to takethese pills, and if your instinct is to drink on the case, then you have deeperproblems. You need to go home.”
Zoe opened her mouth to protestagain, but the words died in her throat. Unbidden, the image of Shelley’s bodyhad floated into her mind, the way it did in those odd moments, completely outof her control. She had been seeing it for weeks, and even the pills weren’treally enough to make it go away.
That was what all of this wasabout. Had always been about. She couldn’t deny that her mind wasn’t fully onthe task. She had never been up for this, not really. It had only been SAICMaitland baiting her with the case file, knowing that it would catch herattention because of the nature of the symbol. It was practically a set-up.
And she shouldn’t have agreed towork the case with someone else. Not when she couldn’t even bear to think ofthe word “partner.” She should have followed her first instinct, which was tostay home and ignore the world and let her job fade away. What he said wastrue.
“You are right,” she said,quietly, her eyes seeking out the whorls of the tree trunk beside them ratherthan continuing to look at his face. She traced patterns there, counted inchesand millimeters, signs of life. “I should not have taken this assignment.”
Flynn’s tone softened. “Good,” hesaid. “Then I’m taking you back to the motel. I don’t think you should beanywhere near the case. I’ll drop you
