“Is anyone going with you? I can give you some company and pick up a few things for the house,” I offer, thinking back to Natalie’s text.
I’m testing him, hoping he'll tell me the truth that he’s meeting Natalie there. I study the muscles of his back as they stretch under the fabric of his black T-shirt.
He glances over his shoulder then turns back to finish tying off his boots. “No, that’s okay. It’ll be easier if it’s just me. It has to be a quick trip anyway since I have to head straight to the restaurant after. I won’t have any time to stop.” He stands then darts his eyes around the room before they settle on the bed. He picks up his phone and looks at the screen. His mouth presses into a thin line before he slides it into his back pocket.
“Sure.” I swallow. “that makes sense.” I sit up, moving the blanket aside and walk straight to the bathroom. For no other reason than to hide my face from Logan. My chin quivers. Our marriage is a constant tipping of the scales. One day we’re balanced, the next, tipped to one side, the weight of our demons threatening to topple us over.
His heavy footsteps grow closer to the bathroom. Quickly, I turn on the shower and remove the long T-shirt and underwear I was wearing. The water is still warm from Logan’s shower, so I step inside immediately and close the glass door behind me.
Through the faded glass, I can see Logan standing in the doorway of the bathroom, resting his body against the doorframe. “I have to head out now.”
“Okay.” The water washes over my body and I stand underneath the stream, letting the water blend with the tears I already know are coming. Moving closer to the stream, I place my hands over my face, hoping Logan doesn’t notice my quivering voice.
He raps his knuckles against the wood frame. I’m silently praying he doesn’t come into the shower with me. I’m not sure I could handle facing him right now. My stomach twists with a sickness unlike any other I’ve felt. I love Logan and the thought of him having an affair would be devastating, a hurt I‘m not sure I could return from. “Well, I’ll be home late since I’m closing.”
I nod even though I know he can’t see me. I keep my hands pressed against my face, scrubbing them up and down my cheeks, hoping it’ll keep my tears at bay. “I know.”
“I’ll uh, text you when I get to work.”
I want to ask him why bother. I want to tell him not to worry about it since I know he’ll be with Natalie. Instead, the words sit on my tongue, their bitter taste lingering in my mouth.
“Love you,” he says, his voice noticeably quieter.
I open my eyes and look at the glass door. The silhouette of Logan’s body is highlighted against the white light of the bathroom. I wipe my fingertip below my eyes, knowing they’re probably already red from the tears. I inhale a deep, exhausted breath. ”I Love you, too.”
He stands there for exactly thirty seconds before he finally leaves. I know this because I count, waiting until his silhouette has disappeared from behind the glass.
Twelve
Logan
I pull into the parking lot at the market, fuming from Natalie’s text. Why is she meeting me here?
Dodging groups of people crowded on the sidewalk, I type out a quick message to Max, asking him if he told Natalie she needed to go to the market before coming in to the restaurant for our first closing shift. When I get his reply telling me that he did in fact tell her I was going to be here, but he didn’t tell her she needed to be, I curse under my breath. Of course, Max didn’t need to invite her here, she did that all on her own.
The market is filled with hundreds of people. Vendors of all kinds line the walkways, selling everything from produce to fish to meats. Bright colored banners and signs line the hundreds of tables and displays. It’s an iconic place in Seattle and one chefs love coming to. It’s our playground. It’s also the same market where I met Max.
Natalie’s standing by a table selling cakes when I find her. She’s wearing a plain white T-shirt tucked into her blue jeans. She doesn’t look ready to work in less than an hour, when our shift is supposed to begin.
“Hey.” She waves excitedly, her long ponytail bouncing along with her arm.
“Hey, Natalie.” I sigh. I seriously don’t know how to handle what’s going on with her. Technically, she isn’t doing anything wrong. I can’t fault the woman for wanting to be involved with this aspect of the job. Max and I have built an excellent relationship with some of the fisherman who sell at the market. We get the best fish at reasonable prices. A deal hard to come by in Seattle.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, forcing myself to keep my opinions to myself. Maybe Natalie was just an overly friendly person. A woman who wanted to learn about her career as much as possible, snatching up every opportunity. In a sense, that’s what I have done ever since I started working in this business when I was sixteen.
She shrugs, clasping her hands in front of her. “I hope it’s okay that I came. Max said you’ve been getting the fish from the market and I wanted to see what it was like.”
I stare at Natalie, understanding where she’s coming from. If that truly is the reason she’s here. “Yeah, it’s okay that you’re here.” I point to her outfit. “You do plan on changing before we get
