“Out of all the pieces of clothing to turn you on, it’s a sweater?” I giggle.
“I didn’t say it was the only one.” He bends his neck, ghosting his lips across my shoulder. The fingertips on his other hand graze the side of my hip, sliding to the front and moving lower, stopping at the top of my underwear.
I open my eyes, reaching up to find the sweater Logan is talking about. It’s the sweater Abby gave me back in Providence, the one I’d taken with me when we left in a hurry. “You mean this one?”
Logan looks up, his chin just above my shoulder. I’m sliding the hangers from left to right, going through each one, looking for the familiar maroon fabric. I come up empty.
“Huh,” I say. “It’s not in here.”
Logan takes a step back, rubbing his fingers across his chin. “Are you sure?”
I turn around and search the floor, wondering if I had maybe tossed it in the corner without noticing. “I don’t see it. I must have thrown it in the wash.”
“Oh,” Logan says, his eyes falling to mine. His chest stills, thoughts swirling in his eyes.
“It’s fine,” I offer. “I can find something else.”
Figuring I must have put Abby’s sweater in with my last load of laundry and forgotten, I spin back around and grab a green cardigan I had yet to wear. The tag was still attached to the sleeve.
Logan leaves me to get dressed, waiting for me downstairs. Somehow me not finding my maroon sweater had killed whatever moment was going on between us. Logan had lit the match again, touching the flame to the sparkler. This time, the sparks had grown, and I could feel us getting back to where we used to be. We weren’t completely there or maybe even a fraction. No amount of small touches, half-laughs, and gum walls could erase the secrets we were hiding from one another.
I was being greedy. Despite the shift between us, I wanted Logan’s touch. I wanted to revel in his words and kisses.
I wanted to take back what once was mine, secrets be damned.
Sixteen
Logan
The gum wall surprised me.
On the drive over, Lena had joked about the amount of germs that the walls could possibly be riddled with but had agreed to lay her mark on the wall with me. I laughed, reveling in the way Lena had changed in the past four hours. She had allowed small glimpses of herself throughout the day, even when we had stopped to eat lunch at a restaurant near the market. Unwillingly, my eyes diverted to the smoothie cart Natalie and I had been to the last time I was here, regretting every moment I spent with her. I began to question her true motives for working at the restaurant. Was she only working there to get close to me? Was she really the person Max had thought her to be? I didn’t know what I would find out if I dug deeper, but I knew I needed to start somewhere, and Max was a good place.
Guilt weighed heavily on me ever since Natalie kissed me. I knew the kiss wasn’t by choice and I didn’t ask for it but I still felt as if I had betrayed Lena in some way. I didn’t want Lena to know what happened between Natalie and me in fear that she would retreat even further from me than she already had. I was being selfish. Fully aware that every second that passed without telling Lena about Natalie was only making the situation worse. I simply needed more time. Time to sort out how I was going to handle going back to work, knowing what Natalie had done.
My marriage was riding on a thin tightrope. I didn’t want to give Lena a reason to let go completely.
Being at the market also reminded me of the eerie feeling I had of being followed. I tried to conceal my worry from Lena, forcing myself not to look over my shoulder everywhere we went. There was a possibility that the person I felt was following me was Natalie. That theory was quickly ruled out when I remembered Natalie was there that day at the market. There was someone else, lurking behind the groups of crowds, blending in unnoticed.
The crowds were fuller than the last time I was here. Summer was ending which in turn drew more tourists. I hoped by bringing Lena to a more public area that my suspicion of being followed would decrease. My worry only grew worse.
I try to spend the rest of the night with Lena like I had this morning. Putting all my energy into working on us.
When we go to bed, she curls up against me, pressing her back to my chest. I wrap my arm around her, pressing my palm to her stomach. She moans against her pillow, sliding her legs between mine.
“Thank you for today. I needed that.”
“Me too.” I press my lips to the back of her neck. Her soft hair smells like her favorite mint shampoo. I inhale, breathing her in.
“Are you sniffing my hair?” She halfway turns her head, looking over her shoulder.
I lift my head up slightly, looking down to her. “Why? Is that creepy?”
“A little.” She giggles.
Things are perfect between us in this moment. Somehow we had gotten back to the way we used to be. I was just afraid the moment would slip through my fingers before I’d even had a chance to enjoy it.
Not wanting this night to end, I slide my hand across her stomach, my fingers edging farther up her shirt. She’s wearing one of my old Boston shirts, one of the only ones I was able to grab when we escaped Providence.
The fabric is loose around her waist, allowing easier access. My fingers touch the bottom of her breast and I’m instantly hard for her. I press my erection to her lower back as she pushes farther against me, already knowing where I’m
