I'm not crying from the physical pain, I'm crying from my broken heart, Vin's broken heart, and my family's broken heart. I feel the burden of all my choices and how it's affected each of their lives. Would they have been better off without me? Did my coming here set their lives down a path leading to death and despair?
Vin's hand lands on my lower back and I tense as I wait for his wrath.
"Em?" His voice sounds like the Vin I know, like home. "I'm not sorry for this."
Right. I just nod.
"But this was just for your total lack of regard for the thing I hold most precious."
I turn to look at him and a sob catches in my throat. Vin is crying, his face is red from the effort of trying to hold it in and failing.
"I can't live without you." His voice catches and he drops his chin to his chest. "I don't see a life without you. So, I need you to see that, I need you to see we're one now. You die, I die."
I didn't see it this way, it was always their lives above my own, protecting them at all costs, and exchanging my life for theirs if ever need be. But when I turn the tables, put myself in Vin's shoes, I can see how my disregard for my own life is a direct disregard for his as well.
"I'm sorry." I whisper. "I didn't see it before."
"I know, Em." He sniffs.
I shakily reach my hand out and place it over his heart-over the infinity tattoo with our initials. His heart is pounding wildly and his breathing is erratic. His eyes shine with so much love and unshed tears. I have been wrong this whole time, our lives are so intertwined that I don't know where I end and he begins.
"I love you, Vincent Greene."
"I've always been yours, Ember Craven."
"I need an ice pack." I grab my sore vagina and step out of the shower.
"Still not sorry."
"You will be when you can't fuck me for another month." I sneer and wrap up in a towel.
"A month?" He asks aghast.
"Maybe two. The labia is extremely fragile."
"You know what else is going to be fragile?" His eyes narrow. "Your fucking ass."
"Sounds good, Baby." I say and blow him a kiss as I waddle away.
27
I’m still not sure what came over me in the shower. I wanted to make love to her and show her how much she meant to me, but then she acted so blasé about her life. I just snapped, after everything I’d been through and then not having her here with me, I couldn’t take that attitude.
I don’t regret it and I would do it again if it meant we came to the same conclusion.
“She has bruises on her face and a busted lip.” Emmett mutters as we sit in the family room and wait for her.
“I doubt she was treated well,” I answer him. “She was the one who shot Moore.”
His face reddens and he looks like his insides are boiling. Now, we’re on the same page.
I’m still trying to figure out how to tell her about the package we found in her mailbox from Carm. None of us has opened it but Emmett has confirmed it’s his writing. He must’ve put it in the mailbox himself because there are no stamps or mailing info, just Em’s name. Emberlise Torres.
Carm’s death has impacted us all but Emmett in particular is handling it badly. He was practically raised by the man and for so long, Carm was his only family. It’s also sad that when his brother dies, his only other sibling was locked away in a jail cell.
Emmett spoke about breaking her out every single day and it took all three of us to talk him down… every single day. He was a wreck and he couldn’t hide it. I was a wreck too, Travis and Adri as well, but we held it together. Yes, the strain was evident on all our faces but we knew we would somehow find a way.
I don’t know how she got out, we just spoke to her lawyer this morning and he told us she’d be in there for the unforeseeable future. He was still trying to pull phone records and video surveillance from houses. We just lacked the evidence to get her bail decision overturned.
According to the judge, Em was a flight risk because of the amount of money she possesses. I know most of that was bullshit, the judge was looking to punish her, too. But then she just showed up like nothing happened and everything was back to business.
When Em went on her murder missions, I always took a backseat and let her do her thing, but for Moore? I want to be the one to watch as he struggles for his last breath.
Now I understand why anger possesses Em and she becomes someone outside of her usual self. I feel it. It’s almost debilitating, especially when it has no outlet.
I’ve been angry for most of my life, but that was based on resentment. Yes, it felt all consuming at the time, I felt like I was a monster because I saw everything in a negative light. This is different, I’m filled with rage and most of my days are spent dreaming up different ways to dismember Moore.
“What’s going to happen now?” Adri whispers.
“Whatever Em wants to happen. With one exception.” I answer her.
“What’s that?”
“I’m going to kill Moore.”
“We all are.” Travis growls and my eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“We are?”
“Yeah,” he nods. “He fucked with our family and got one of us killed. We pay him back with Greene's revenge.”
“I like that.” I grin at him.
“Like what?” Em asks as she walks-slowly-into the room.
Still
