OCTAVIA PACED. THE PREVIOUS evening had left her uneasy on multiple fronts. The prince was much more interesting than she’d expected. And then there was Fortescue, who’d left her even more unnerved. Was the man jesting in all this? Was this some new battlefield they had found? It was certainly one she’d skirted around a few times.
“Please stop pacing,” Eliza said. Even having left early in the evening, Eliza was still exhausted today. She sat with a blanket over her knees. Too tired to do much, but unable to sleep further. It was a tiredness that needed rest and calm rather than sleep.
“I’m sorry,” Octavia said and sat down, even as she felt too anxious to sit.
“Did someone say something to you? Has Cressida been awful?”
“No, nothing like that. Well, she tried, but her antics don’t bother me a bit.”
“Was that prince terrible? I saw you dancing with him.”
“No, he was lovely. I actually enjoyed his company.”
“Good, because I think we’re dining with him tonight. So what is it? You’ll feel unburdened if you just spit it out.”
Octavia sighed. “It’s Fortescue.”
“Have you two been fighting again?”
“No,” she said, feeling frustrated. Eliza didn’t understand. “I think he likes me.”
Eliza was quiet for a moment. “He is a lovely man. It would be a good match.” See, she didn’t understand.
“He doesn’t like me.”
“But you just said he did. Did he say so?”
“Yes,” Octavia admitted. ‘Charmed’ was the word he’d used. She’d charmed him. The meaning of his words and how they’d been given was hard to misconstrue. He liked her—enough to state it to her. And all Eliza saw was marriage—that it should be a given.
“But you do not like him?” Eliza pressed.
“It’s not an issue of liking him. But yes, I want to punch him in the face most of the time. It’s more... His attachment comes from gratitude. I know it. He’d said so himself. And now, that gratitude has caused him to have soft feelings.”
“I see,” Eliza said. “I understand.”
“Do you?”
“It was something I had to grapple with myself when he showed interest in me. Was I simply grateful that he didn’t dismiss me outright like everyone else had?”
Guilt roared through Octavia again, because she had been one of the people who’d utterly dismissed Eliza as a consequence of those false accusations, and it was a guilt she still lived with. In fact, she’d had cause to question many things about herself as a consequence.
“I took care of him when he had no one do to so, and now he feels fondness. It’s natural, but it’s not enough. How much is gratitude worth?”
“It’s not enough to base a marriage on,” Eliza admitted, reflecting exactly what Octavia felt.
“No,” she said. So why was she so terribly uneasy about all this? He certainly wasn’t the only man she’d left behind her who’d professed his deep regard for her. She left and she didn’t look back, and that was what she had to do this time too.
“Do you like him a little in return?”
“No, of course not. He’s a horrid man,” she said, but smiled. “I do like it when we are friends. But I know he’s a man who is alone and I was there for him when he was vulnerable. It’s left a loyalty on his part.”
“When he gives his loyalty, he does so fully, I think.” And he had given that loyalty to Eliza.
“Sometimes I wonder if the world would be a simpler place if he would just marry Lydia Forthill.”
“I don’t think it would be a match to suit him.”
Octavia’s head ached and she didn’t want to think about what kind of matches would suit him. “The society matrons will find him something suitable, I’m sure.”
“Lord Fortescue is not a child. He’s a grown man. His suitabilities are not for you to worry about,” Eliza said with finality, and perhaps that was what Octavia needed to hear. She wasn’t responsible for him. Stepping away from him was in both of their best interests.
Fortunately, in light of this, they couldn’t be friends. The man’s loyalties kept him locked, and if she continued to be around him, his interest would stay locked. His history showed he stayed loyal until there was absolutely no hope—so she couldn’t give him any.
But even thinking this hurt. That bond formed due to his injury sat with her too, that anguish when he hurt. Caring for him had created a link between them that didn’t now serve either of them. It certainly wasn’t a bond that was enough for marriage. She knew it would go there if she let it. Fortescue would take his loyalty as far as it would go. Such loyalty was... dangerous.
Eliza was right, however, she did feel better after voicing her concerns. Now she needed to stop thinking about it. Sitting here and dwelling on it wouldn’t help. “Would you like me to get you some more of that tea from Fortnum and Mason?” she asked.
“Yes, please,” Eliza said. “I would ask Caius, but I can’t trust what he comes back with, I’m sorry to say.”
“Caius is a strategist. The finer details can be lost for him,” Octavia said. A trait she had learnt when she’d asked him to retrieve a kitten for her from the neighbor's litter. She’d described exactly the one she’d wanted, and Caius had returned with another, then stated it was a cat and that was what she’d wanted. Then she’d had to go through all the trouble of correcting his mistake, and had, in the end, come away with two cats.
*
It was both with delight and trepidation that Octavia walked into the family townhouse with Caius and Eliza. She had no idea who’d been invited, but suspected it wasn’t an intimate family supper with the prince. At no
