I took a deep breath to steady myself before I opened the door to my mother’s room. Other than the fact that she was hooked up to some beeping machines, she kinda looked like she was resting—better than I had imagined she would. Aunt Coretta was leaned back in a chair in the corner, snoring loudly like she’d worked an overnight shift.
Not wanting to wake them, I quietly moved the empty chair to my mother’s bedside. As soon as I sat in it, her eyes fluttered open.
“Roman,” she whispered and smiled.
“Hey, Mama,” I said. “How you feeling?”
“Tired.”
Aunt Coretta sat up. “Roman, when you get here?”
“A few minutes ago. What are the doctors saying?”
“They haven’t really said nothing. Just waiting on test results.” Aunt Coretta stretched and yawned.
“I’m fine, baby,” Mama told me.
Looking at her, I knew that wasn’t true. She was breathing heavily, even with the oxygen tube in her nose, and she could hardly keep her eyes open. Even though I knew that was probably due to the drugs they had her on, there was a slight look of worry on her face that I’d never seen before.
“You’re not fine, Mama. You’re in the ICU. Having a heart attack is not fine.” I turned to my aunt. “I need to talk to the doctors and find out what’s going on.”
Mama reached over and touched my arm. “I’m sure they’ll be in here shortly. They’re doing rounds.”
There was a tap on the door, and as if he had sensed we were talking about him, a tall, white-haired doctor walked in.
“How are you doing? I’m Dr. Ford,” he said as he walked over to the bedside.
“I’d be doing better if I knew what was going on with my mother.”
“Roman, don’t start,” Aunt Coretta warned.
“I’m not starting nothing. We’ve been waiting all night for answers, and nobody seems to know anything. I done came from halfway across the country to get here and still don’t know nothing except she had a heart attack.”
“I understand your frustration. Mr. Johnson, is it?” the doctor asked.
“Yeah.”
“We just wanted to make sure we had some of her test results before we made a definitive diagnosis.”
“Well, what’s the diagnosis?” I asked loudly.
Dr. Ford turned his back to me and spoke to my mother. “How you feeling today, Ms. Johnson?”
“I’ve definitely felt better,” Mama said. “Feels like an elephant done sat on my chest.”
“Yes, I’m sure it does.” The doctor leaned down to listen to her breathing.
I watched as he moved the stethoscope around her chest, asking her questions like I wasn’t standing there waiting for him to answer the one I’d asked him.
Finally, he turned around and said, “It appears your mother suffered a heart attack last night.”
“We know that,” I replied, frustrated.
“Roman, please.” Aunt Coretta scolded me, then turned to the doctor and apologized. “I’m sorry about my nephew’s agitation. Like he said, he traveled all night, so his patience is a little thin because he needs a nap.”
“I don’t need you apologizing for me, Aunt Coretta,” I snapped at her.
“It’s fine,” the doctor said. “In addition, she’s in acute renal failure.”
“Her kidneys?” Aunt Coretta stood and walked over to be closer.
“Yes. She’s been sick for a while. She’s lucky to be alive, and we’re going to do everything to keep her comfortable,” he said.
“So, will she have to be on dialysis?” Aunt Coretta asked.
“Honestly, I don’t think right now that’s an option. Her heart is very weak, and I don’t believe her body would be able to handle dialysis.”
“No dialysis?” I yelled. “What the fuck? My mother needs help. What are you gonna do for her?”
“Can she have a transplant?” Aunt Coretta’s voice cracked, and I realized she was on the verge of crying. She and my mother were super close.
“Like I said, it’s too early to—”
I cut him off. “Give her mine.”
“Roman, no.” Mama, who hadn’t said a word while the doctor was updating us, now spoke emphatically. “I won’t allow you to do that.”
“I think our first goal is to let her get some rest and wait for the other tests,” Dr. Ford said. “I’ll be back this afternoon to check on you, Ms. Johnson.” He thanked us and walked out of the room.
I looked over at my mother and rubbed the top of her hand, carefully avoiding the IV line attached to it. She’d been a good mother, a hard worker, and a great provider. She’d always been there for me, even when she shouldn’t have been. Now, it was time for me to be there for her.
“I’ll be right back, Mama.” I went into the hallway, looking for the doctor. I spotted him at the end of the hallway, just as he was about to enter another patient’s room. “Dr. Ford. Yo!”
He turned around and waited as I sprinted over to him.
“What can I do for you, Mr. Johnson?”
“I want you to do whatever you have to to give my mother one of my kidneys. I don’t care what it takes or how much it costs.”
He let out a small sigh like he had sympathy for me, or else he was sick of my ass. Either way, I didn’t care. This was my mother’s life we were talking about.
“I understand you wanting to help her, but donating a kidney is a major undertaking, medically speaking,” he said.
“I don’t care. What I gotta do?”
He glanced at the door to the other patient’s room like I was holding him up. “Well, the first thing we have to do is run some tests to see if you’re even a match.”
“So, let’s get to testing.”
“I’ll set it up for the morning. Now, go get yourself something to eat and get some rest. You look beat.”
It had been damn near twenty-four hours since I’d slept, and I was definitely hungry. The dinner Kandace and I had in Miami the night before was
