Their favorite Chinese place is packed when they get in line, Elliot’s eyes on the menu, loudly wondering if getting twenty dumplings is a bit overkill, Natalie poking him in the side, laughing into his shirt.
He almost doesn’t notice how she suddenly goes still, almost doesn’t hear the unfamiliar voice that says, “Hey, Nat.”
“Hey,” Natalie says, voice strained.
Elliot tears his eyes off the menu board to look at the guy she’s talking to. Tall, blond, scruffy. Looks like he belongs on a beach.
“Hey,” Elliot says.
Natalie clears her throat. “Elliot, this is Cody. Cody, this is Elliot.”
“Nice to meet you,” Elliot says.
“Yeah,” Cody only says, eyes back on Natalie. “How have you been, Nat? Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Good, how about you?”
“All right.”
The line moves up and Natalie nods at him, then at the line. “Sorry, we need to…”
“Sure,” Cody says, gives Elliot an appraising look and wanders away.
“Cody, huh?” Elliot says. “How do you know him?”
“He’s my ex,” Natalie grits out.
“Ah.”
That’s it for that conversation, at least for now, because they order, and Natalie keeps Elliot from getting twenty dumplings, but he gets twelve, because that way he can maybe have two for breakfast tomorrow morning. They get veggies and fried noodles and too many spring rolls and then wander home, in a silence that seems strange to Elliot until he remembers Cody.
“So, is Cody a douchebag or…?”
“He cheated on me,” Natalie says.
“So that’s a yes.”
Natalie hums.
Elliot is supremely uncomfortable about the teammates who have a girlfriend in New York and then screw around on the road, or, even worse, who have a girlfriend in New York and then screw around in New York on top of that. He’s not about that at all.
He’s never talked to Natalie about her exes, they just sort of established that they both had them but that there was nothing really worth mentioning.
Natalie asked him once, if he used to take girls home a lot, and he told her the truth, that sometimes he did when the occasion arose, but that it was never serious, and nothing that happened regularly.
Of course that wasn’t the whole truth.
Sometimes he wonders if he should tell her, that he’s bi, that he’s been with men. Or, one man, he should say. He couldn’t mention any names, but sometimes it sits on the tip of his tongue, until he dismisses it, because it doesn’t matter, does it? Or maybe it does, because it’s part of him, and he’s… well, he’s not hiding it, isn’t actively lying about it, but he won’t mention it either.
He knows it should tell him something, should maybe tell him that he doesn’t trust Natalie enough, but he never gets to the end of that train of thought.
“I’m sorry,” Elliot says. “That he did that.”
“I’m pretty much over it,” Natalie says and squeezes his hand. “Kinda sucks, though. I dated another guy for a while after I broke up with Cody and I had such a hard time trusting him, you know?”
“I’m sorry,” Elliot says again, because what else is he supposed to say?
Natalie leans against him a little, the bag with their takeout bouncing off her legs. “Love you. And, Elliot, don’t… don’t think I don’t trust you, okay? I do. I’m not… permanently scarred by one asshole who decided to cheat on me.”
“Okay,” Elliot says quietly and holds on to her hand until they’re home.
As Natalie unlocks the door, taking her shoes off by the door, which is something Elliot needs to make a habit of but constantly forgets, Natalie says, “Hey, I have this friend from law school who wants to maybe go out on a double date with us, what do you think?”
“Uhh, sure?”
“If it works with your schedule?”
“Yeah,” Elliot says, wandering back to the door to take his shoes off before he goes back into the kitchen.
“Okay, I’ll let her know and she can talk to her girlfriend and… Elliot.”
“Huh?”
“What’s with the face?”
“What face?”
Natalie frowns at him. “Your face.”
“Nothing? It’s just my face.”
“Yeah, and you… Elliot, you don’t mind that she has a girlfriend, right?”
“No, what, of course not,” Elliot says and he basically trips over the words, they come out way too fast and Natalie can definitely tell that something is up. Elliot could tell her now, there’s never been a better moment for this, but Natalie has the angry face on, so maybe it’s safer for him if he talks his way out of this. “It’s just…”
“It’s just that you hate gay people?”
“I don’t hate gay people,” Elliot says. Sounds way too defensive.
“But?”
“Nothing.”
“Uh-huh.”
Natalie shakes his head at him. “Elliot, seriously, like, grow up.”
“I don’t care,” Elliot says. Too whiny. “I swear, I don’t–”
“So you won’t be weird around them? If we go somewhere with them, you’re not gonna act like they have the cooties?”
“Natalie, we’re not five.”
“Then why are you acting like it?” Natalie snaps.
“Hey.” Great defense, really. Hey.
“No, honestly, gay people exist, they’re out there, get with the times. It’s nothing that should make you uncomfortable,” Natalie says. “You know, there’s a good chance that someone on your team likes men.”
Yes, that person would be Elliot. Somehow he still can’t say it, even though Natalie would be on his side. Clearly. How hard can it be? He’s told Blake. Telling Blake, in all honesty, was probably the hardest thing he’d ever done. He almost cried when
