He’s not really spending a lot of time at home either and that’s probably hard for her, and he’s been terrible about calling her on the road, because he’s been keeping an eye on Evan and their youngest rookie, who needs a little more moral support every now and then. He’s a little shy, but he seems to be okay talking to Elliot, so Elliot has been going out with the team on most nights on the road, so the kid would have someone to hang with before Elliot eventually pushed him towards other teammates.
And then there’s that other thing that’s been bugging him for a while.
“Adam,” Elliot says. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure?”
“Do you tell Lou everything?”
“Everything?”
“I mean, like, everything about yourself?”
“We’ve been together for years and we’re getting married, I’m pretty sure she knows me better than anyone else.”
“No, I mean… Let’s say here’s something about you that’s not relevant to your relationship, but something that’s… sort of important. Would you tell her even though it doesn’t really matter?”
“Dude, I think you’re gonna have to tell me what this is actually about, because I’m not following.”
Elliot takes a deep breath. Maybe this could be a practice run for when he tells Natalie? Because he has to tell her. Eventually. He doesn’t even know why it’s so important to him. Maybe, to him, it’s something you should tell the person you love.
“Moo.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re my best friend. You can tell me shit. All the important stuff and the stuff that doesn’t really matter.”
Elliot nods.
“Moo.”
“Yeah?”
“Did you kill someone or what?”
“No, fuck.”
“I was kidding,” Adam says, frowning. “I think.”
Elliot stares down at his food, like it’s going to tell him what the hell to say next. The food, of course, isn’t helpful in the slightest.
“It’s not… So, a couple of years ago, before I even got drafted, there was this guy and I… We were sort of… I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter now, because I’m with Natalie, right?”
“There was a guy,” Adam echoes.
Elliot can’t look at him.
“Were you in love with that guy?”
“I… Maybe.”
“You’re saying maybe, but it kinda sounds like yes,” Adam says. “Anyway, regardless of… gender or whatever, it’s just another ex, right?”
“Right,” Elliot says and it comes out sounding like a question. “We talked about our exes, but I sort of didn’t mention that one of them was… not a girl.”
“So you feel like you’re lying to her?”
“I guess.”
“Then tell her?”
“I don’t know how, though?” Elliot stabs a bit of broccoli with his fork. “It’s not like I can randomly bring it up? Oh, by the way… I’m… not… straight.”
Adam clears his throat. “You know that I’m cool with this, right? Because you’re sort of trying to murder your food with your eyes there and that steak is already dead, so it’s not… Moo. Come on. You know I’m not homophobic or something.”
“I’m not gay.”
“Yeah, but you just said you’re not…”
“Straight,” Elliot mumbles. “Yeah.”
“Listen, if it really bugs you, tell her, but…” Adam shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess if knowing that changes anything, that’s her problem, not yours.”
Elliot spears a piece of carrot. He needs to breathe. Breathe. Everything’s okay. “Yeah, I guess.”
#
It takes Blake actual weeks to finally call Elliot. At first he’s trying to get back into his routine and suddenly they’re hurtling towards Christmas, then the Knights go on the road and it’s not until Blake is on his own in a hotel room in Winnipeg that he finally gets around to it.
He didn’t really want to go out with the guys, it’s fucking freezing and he’s tired, then he started looking for a movie to watch, started scrolling through Twitter and stumbled across an interview with the Ravens’ coach this morning.
Blake isn’t sure why the hell he decides to watch it.
It’s about the Ravens’ games against Dallas and Arizona and he’s talking about how the Ravens practically destroyed both teams on the road, then one of the reporters asks about Elliot.
“Yes, of course, Elliot has been great for us, obviously, even if you just look at his numbers, the way he’s producing. He’s on a six-game point streak right now, and he’s had two points or more in all of them. But, you know, he’s just great to have in the room as well. Ask any of the guys and they’ll tell you that Elliot is a fantastic teammate.”
Blake hits pause there, because all that talk of Elliot and what a great person he is reminds Blake that he’s being a terrible person, because he still hasn’t called him.
He could do it right now.
His phone is right there.
Elliot doesn’t have a game tonight. It’s not that late yet.
When he finally calls him, Blake is actually hoping that Elliot won’t answer, but he does, after the second ring, with a soft, “Hey, Blake.”
“Hey,” Blake says. “How’s it going?”
“Just… having a quiet night in. Give me a sec, I’ll…” There’s the murmur of a TV show or a movie in the background, some quiet mumbling, then it’s quiet and Elliot says, “How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Blake says. “It wasn’t… It was a rough couple of days, but… being back with the team helped, I guess.” He lies back, stares at the ceiling. It’s going to hurt for a while. His parents died over ten years ago and he still misses them. And now he has another person to miss. “I have cats now.”
“Your grandma’s cats?”
“Yeah,” Blake says. “You should come by and say hi to Angus. He’s not really adjusting well
