Lena closed her mouth with a snap when she noticed it hanging open. A bit rude was the understatement of the day, probably the year. She swallowed her reply. She wouldn’t get between mother and daughter, especially if Maggie was blinded by maternal instinct. She would keep her distance, and if a miracle happened and penguins could fly, she might end up being friends with Jess.
“I’m no better than a spy. Or a stalker.” Jess hid behind the shades in Ella’s room as her mom and Lena walked arm in arm to the stonier section of the garden.
Ella burped. That might translate as “Yes, Mom, you are. Why are you doing this?”
She held Ella up to her left shoulder and patted her back. “I don’t know, but something is wrong with that Lena. Why would she spend her free time with a woman twice her age?”
Now her mom was showing Lena several green plants, not even blooming ones. “Is she really interested in gardening, or is this a kind of game to gain access to a rich old woman?”
Her mom was far from frail or forgetful, but maybe the intruder didn’t know that.
Without warning, her mom straightened up and looked at the house; it seemed as if her gaze bored right into Jess.
She took a step back. “Whoa, that was close. Do you think she saw me?”
Ella squirmed on her shoulder for a few seconds, then cried once.
“Okay, okay. I’m finding something else to do.” She sniffed at Ella’s behind. “Maybe clean you up?”
Jess went to the dresser on the other side of the room. The wooden surface had once displayed her collection of track trophies, but now it served as a changing table. A soft towel was spread on the top, and her mom had decorated the board above it with a mobile. Plush animals in oversized, striped swimsuits danced around a wide, grinning sun. Silly. Who thought of these things?
Everything she needed was stored in the topmost drawer: wipes, lotion, diapers, and Ella’s clothes. It wasn’t convenient, unlike the cleverly designed changing station she had at her condo, but it wasn’t her intention to use it any longer than necessary.
She gave the mobile a push so it twirled, and Ella tried to follow with her gaze. Those light-blue baby eyes were so huge and full of wonder that these animals danced only for her. Maybe they aren’t that silly after all.
She cleaned and changed Ella, then picked her up to pace the room again.
Eight steps from door to window, ten steps from bed to closet. How often had she walked the same path in her teenage years? She had been a trapped tiger, waiting to jump the cage and explore the world. Posters of models and actresses had stirred in her a longing she couldn’t name. She had thought she wanted to be like them, look like them. A goal unachievable for a lanky, dark-haired teenager who more closely resembled the androgynous guys accompanying the women in some of those pictures.
Now she knew she had wanted to be with the women.
But that hadn’t worked out so well. At all. She’d never had problems meeting women or even getting second or third dates. The problems always started when they demanded more of her time than she was able to give. No one understood medicine had to come first.
Well, now that Ella came first and medicine a close second, her chances of finding a wife weren’t improving. She’d be forever alone and have to turn to her mother for help like a teenager. Would she ever be fit enough to return to her condo? What if her heart failure wouldn’t improve? Then she’d always have to depend on help.
Heat shot through her, and her breath caught. Trapped. She was trapped in this weak body and this tiny room.
Ella squirmed in her arms and cried.
Jess took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Her chances were very good for a full recovery even if nothing in medicine was ever one-hundred percent. She needed to find ways to relax soon. She shouldn’t project her stress onto Ella.
Her gaze went back to the window. The roof of the garden house and part of the patio were visible, but trees and shrubs hid the rest. That was an oasis, with several rooms and enough space to pace. Jess’s place was out there and not in this tiny room.
Everything came back to Lena. Jess didn’t share her mom’s trust in Lena at all. She needed more information, and the first step would be to talk to her mom and see what she knew. If something wasn’t right, she would prove it. She owed it to her mom to protect her.
Having a plan settled her, and Ella calmed down as if she agreed.
After the woman had moved out, she’d redecorate the garden house, and it would feel like a home, something she’d been searching for since she left med school.
“Perfect solution.” Jess grinned. “Don’t you agree, honey?”
Ella only yawned. But what did she know?
The minute her mom returned from the garden, Jess went downstairs, baby monitor tucked into her waistband. Had her mom been baking again? Scones had tempted her yesterday, and today cinnamon filled the air. Her stomach growled. But whatever it was, she’d better stay far, far away from it. Carbs weren’t her friend right now.
Unfortunately, she found her mom in the kitchen, arranging cinnamon buns in a container. A couple didn’t fit, and she placed them on a plate. “Good morning. Have you eaten breakfast yet?”
“Morning. Not yet. I’ll have a yogurt.” Her mouth watered at the sight of the fresh buns, but she opened the fridge and took out a container of natural yogurt. Boring stuff, but she wouldn’t get her figure back by indulging every time something smelled delicious.
“Do you want some tea?
