“Wow. When you said you’d bring something to eat, I thought you meant some muesli bars or plain sandwiches. Um…can we share? I’d like to try both spreads.”
“Sure.” Lena waited until Jess had taken a piece, then took the other half of the sandwich.
Jess moaned after the first bite. She chewed with her eyes closed. After she’d swallowed, she opened them again and gazed at Lena. “Wow. I know I’m repeating myself, but I can’t adequately describe how delicious this is. Where did you get the chutney?”
The compliment made her grin. “Thank you. I made it.”
Jess picked up a couple of carrot sticks and offered one to Lena. “Okay. I take it back. You can have some carrot sticks, and I’ll take all the sandwiches.”
Laughing, Lena dipped hers into the avocado dip. “Can I maybe bribe you with the promise of a jar of chutney at home?”
“Mmh…” Jess rubbed her chin and pretended to think hard. “Delayed gratification. I’m not so sure I’m into that.”
“Maybe you didn’t have the right motivation until now.” Lena bit her lip. Oops, she hadn’t meant to lower her voice quite like that. It had slipped out before she could censor herself.
Jess held Lena’s gaze for a few heartbeats, then took her time to choose a piece of cucumber.
Oh shit. Lena didn’t want to lead Jess on. Flirting wasn’t fair when she wasn’t available for anything more. She had neither time nor emotional strength for romance at the moment. Awkward silence hung between them as she searched for a neutral topic to redirect the conversation, but Jess beat her to it.
She rubbed her finger over the beeswax wrapping, then smelled it. “Is this wax? On fabric? Is it washable?”
Lena leaned back against the tree and stretched her legs. “Sure, you can use water or a mild soap if you need it. You can reuse it for a long time. A friend of mine made them in exchange for some preserves.”
“That’s cool. You seem to have a friend for everything. How come they’re never at your house?” Jess tilted her head and nibbled on a carrot stick.
“I don’t have really close friends, more a loose circle of like-minded people who exchange products and favors. If you work at the farmers market long enough, you get to know a lot of wonderful people. But I don’t have time to hang out with them.”
“And dating? Do you have time for that?” Jess’s tone and expression were neutral, but her eyes held an intensity that excited and frightened Lena at the same time.
Was Jess asking if she was available? Or was this a general question, small talk between new friends? Either way, the answer was the same. “I don’t have time for dating between all of my jobs. When I was younger, I tried the casual dating, friends-with-benefits thing a few times, but…I’m not good at keeping things casual. It’s easier to just not date.”
Jess’s eyes widened slightly, but Lena didn’t know her well enough to guess what that meant.
With a sigh, Lena took the easy way out and ended the eye contact. She picked up half of the other sandwich and for the next few minutes, concentrated on chewing.
After they finished lunch, Jess stretched out next to her, folded her arms beneath her head, and closed her eyes. She yawned. “I’m not at all motivated to pick blackberries next. You never mentioned blackberries when you asked me to drive you.” A slight smile around her lips belied her grumpy tone.
“I asked you?” Lena plucked a blade of grass and tickled Jess’s nose. “I remember a completely different conversation. You begged me to let you drive me.”
Jess rubbed her nose and opened her eyes. When she saw the grass, she caught it with her hand. “Hey! I’m old and sick. I need my rest.” She closed her eyes again.
Lena studied Jess’s face to see how serious the remark was. Fine lines around her eyes showed the few years she had on Lena, but the ever-present dark shadows from the first weeks of their acquaintance were gone. Her initial paleness had turned to a light gold complexion that seemed much healthier than even last week. Jess looked great now, and during their daily tai chi sessions and evening walks she hadn’t seemed out of breath, but it wasn’t Lena’s place to judge how she felt. When in doubt, ask a question. Or five. Her grandma’s motto had always proven to be helpful.
“How are you really feeling? Do you want to sit it out? I can handle the rest on my own. That’s what I would have done anyway if my car was working.” Lena smiled when Jess’s eyes flew open.
“No, I was just joking.” Jess sat up and flicked the blade of grass away. “Let’s pack this up, and I won’t stop working until all the blackberries are picked.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Laughing, Lena stowed her wrappers and the nearly empty guacamole container in the cooler and stood. “But seriously, thank you. Blackberries are the most important part of our excursion today. Without them, I can’t make my preserves tomorrow and I’ll have nothing to sell.”
“Don’t mention it. I love picking blackberries.” Jess shook out the blanket and folded it neatly over her arm. “As long as I can eat some of them.”
At the car, they exchanged the picnic stuff for some smaller buckets, then Lena led Jess around the house to the edge of the property where blackberries had taken over the length of what had been a nice fence years or probably decades ago.
Only as they got closer, it didn’t look at all like a healthy growth. Most leaves were brown, and the branches were a lifeless gray and shriveled in some places, broken in others. And the blackberries were tiny remnants, hard and dry, nothing
