Lips curving in what was almost a smile, the headmaster stepped forward while Haru and Sayuri bowed in respect.
“I have made some very special arrangements for you all. A chance to experience a truly wonderful piece of Japanese culture.”
It was hard to concentrate after the conversation they’d just had. Ellie wanted to get out of the headmaster’s office; the tight space, the ceremony of it all, was like being back at the palace. And then it came, the worst possible gift they could ever have received.
“Haru has brought it to my attention that one of you is celebrating a birthday this weekend, the twenty-sixth of July.”
Oh no.
Haru shot his happy-go-lucky smile directly at Jamie, with no idea of the storm that would follow.
“Every year Takeshin sponsors the Aka Taiyo Matsuri, a festival in Tokyo, and I have arranged for you to attend in celebration of your Partizan’s birthday.”
Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!
There was only one rule Jamie demanded. Do not celebrate his birthday, ever. And, even with their growing distance, she knew better than to break that rule.
Jamie’s presence in the room felt like a growing mass of darkness. She didn’t dare look at him.
Doing better than she was, Lottie held face, armed with a perfectly pleasant smile. “Chiba Sensei,” she said with not even a quiver, “this is indeed a wonderful gesture, but I’m afraid . . .” She trailed off, distracted by what she could see just beyond the headmaster . . . His granddaughter.
Sayuri shook her head in warning, and with one quick motion of her fingers gestured for them to bow.
It appeared this was an offer they were not allowed to refuse.
“But we will need extra security,” Lottie quickly said, bowing as Sayuri had instructed. “Would we be allowed to borrow Haru?”
She was so smart.
How did Lottie think of these things? How was she such a good diplomat? How did she stay so calm when everything was such chaos? And how had Ellie messed everything up so badly?
Bad influence. The words pounded against her skull like a fever.
“Ah, yes.” Chiba Sensei nodded. “I know you have security concerns, but Hinamori-san has assured me that the motorbiking menace has recently been apprehended and will be nothing to worry about. Nevertheless,” he continued, and Ellie strained to listen, hardly believing that fiery force could have been caught and that they would have heard nothing about it, “he will escort you for peace of mind.”
“An excellent idea,” Haru chimed in.
Biting her cheek, Ellie turned her head just enough to see Jamie.
Nothing. His face was entirely blank, a cold wet lump of clay with no emotion or purpose. She wanted to reach over to him to push his nothingness into something, anything, dig deep to find him at the center. But once again all she could think was that this was somehow her fault.
Bowing low, he spoke in a monotone: “Thank you.”
“This is a nightmare,” Ellie groaned.
Saskia pinched Ellie hard on the arm.
“Ouch, what the hell is your problem?”
“See? Not a nightmare.”
Laughing to herself as if she were the funniest person in the world, Saskia ate a spoonful of her vanilla pudding.
Jamie and Lottie had swiftly vanished back to the dining hall, but Ellie couldn’t bear facing their solemn expressions, opting to take her dessert out to the decking by the koi pond, the sun so hot she thought it might melt her face off. Much to her irritation, Saskia had decided to follow.
“You don’t understand. This festival is a curse. I can feel it. Jamie hates his birthday, there’s a possible threat out there, and with this Lottie thing it’s just . . .” Her words dried up and another groan escaped her. “What am I supposed to do? This is all my stupid fault.”
“You’re completely wrong.”
“What?”
“You’re wrong,” Saskia reiterated. “This festival is a blessing. Listen, you have until this weekend to figure out how to make it up to Lottie, and you’d better make it good.”
The smell of the vanilla pudding drowned out everything else, Saskia’s golden spoon swirling in the pot.
“Ellie. You need to be honest with your feelings, from one gay girl to another. That’s all Lottie wants. She wants you to drop your ego and be honest. Tell her what’s bothering you, instead of bottling it all up and pushing her away.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Ellie felt her defenses come up, an anger that she didn’t understand rising like a hurricane through her body, but Saskia calmly waved it away. “No one would be here in this mess, if not for me. I did this.”
“Do you really believe that? Do you think Lottie believes that?”
A particularly fat koi, gold and crimson, bobbed out of the muddy water, plopping upward ungracefully, and Ellie was sure she could smell it: salt and mud. It was gross. As quickly as it appeared, the fish vanished back into the murk.
“I don’t even know what I believe anymore,” Ellie admitted. “I need to think, but,” she continued, staring at the koi as they moved around in circles, “if I’m going to fix this, I need to do it properly. And that means . . .” She glanced at Saskia. “I need you to do something for me first.”
14
“WOULD YOU LIKE ONE?” HARU pointed at a curious fish-shaped cake, with pretty scale patterns across it. There must have been hundreds of them, from rows and rows of street-food vendors with bright calligraphed banners, the salty-sweet smells filling the evening air. “They’re taiyaki, with a sweet filling.”
“Yes, that would be nice, thank you,” Lottie replied, mirroring Haru’s breezy smile, although she wasn’t sure how on earth she could eat anything with her yukata tied so tight.
Miko had insisted they all wear the summery cotton kimonos if they were going
