Slowly, he dips two fingers into me, and I almost shoot off the bed when his teeth latch onto the bundle of nerves at my center. His talented kisses send me screaming over the edge. Fragments of bliss spark through me as I scream out his name.
With the agility of a predator, he slides over me, pressing a kiss to my lips, and I taste myself on his tongue when he slides it along mine. His movements are not at all what I’m expecting, it’s … romantic.
Something shifted when he slid inside me seconds ago. It wasn’t rough or angry. There was a gentleness to his kisses and the way his body took mine. I’m lost in the way his hands hold me, in the way his lips steal mine, swallowing every moan and whimper.
As my lashes flutter closed, I attempt to hold back the tears as realization hits me in the chest. I care about him. It can’t be love. Not just yet, but the way he seems to be claiming me tells me that he feels this connection as well.
He is everything I never knew I wanted.
This is everything I never knew I needed.
And I realize in that moment, this would be everything that would haunt me until I admit the truth to him. But in doing so, I might lose him. His body moves over me, his hips slapping against mine as I take him deep. He thickens, stretching my walls, and I welcome the bite of pained pleasure that shoots down my spine.
I dig my nails into his back, holding on, craving more. His mouth captures my nipple, biting down harshly, which sends pain zinging from the hardened bud down to my clit. My toes curl when he mimics the action on the other breast.
Arching my back, I press my body closer to his, needing to be against him. To feel every hard valley and every dip of his muscles as he works my body into a frenzy of euphoria. I can’t look at him, but I feel his gaze burning me, boring a hole right to my soul.
Even in this pleasurable moment of bliss, I know I have to tell him why I was arrested.
“Come for me,” he pleads, his one hand circling my clit as he thrusts into me, harder, faster, and I cry out when he pinches the bundle of nerves lighting my veins on fire with pure, unraveling hedonism.
In the dark, we’re safe with our dirty little secret, but the harsh light of day would forever scorch us for our actions. The room is bathed in shadows, but when I open my eyes tomorrow morning, I know there will be harsh sunlight spilling the truth to the man who’s now cocooned against me.
I hid my pain for so long that as Elian’s arm wraps around me possessively, I find the tears I’d been holding back slowly trickle down my face. Every person I’ve ever loved has left me. And I know that Elian will also disappear. I force the images of him walking out from my mind, but there’s only so much I can fight because I know I can never fully expunge him from me.
“This could never be more.” His nighttime admission snaps me from my thoughts, but even as he says the words, his hands never strayed, his arm never left me. “You know we shouldn’t have done this.”
I nod to the darkness. “I know. I realized it the moment you kissed me.”
“And you didn’t stop me?” His question isn’t meant to hurt. It’s genuinely curious.
I smile. There’s no way I could ever have stopped him. Even if I wanted to. My heart is slowly splintering when I realize what he’s saying. But I whisper, “How could I?”
He flips onto his back, pulling me astride his hips, my body looming over his. His guilt-ridden stare bores into mine, searching, making me blink because I’m afraid of what he’ll find there.
His rough hands give my ass one last hard squeeze before he leans up, resting his weight on his elbows. I’m still straddling his waist, not wanting to break the connection of his cock against my pussy.
Heat sizzles through the air, warming my skin, and I can’t help touching his smooth, tanned skin one more time. As if I’m memorizing every line, each sip of his abs and peak of his muscles.
Perfect.
Only, he isn’t.
He looks at me for a long time, as if he’s trying to tell me something but not wanting to admit the truth. His gaze holds secrets, just like I’ve kept mine safe. His mouth opens, then shuts. And it’s as if he makes his decision.
“I can’t do this without hurting you. It has to end.” He finally utters the words I’d been dreading to hear. Cold seeps through my veins, understanding that he’s not mine. The lump in my throat threatens me, growing thicker with every second. My eyes burn, the watery emotion about to spill, but I blink it back and nod.
“Yes.” My voice is scratchy, and I admonish myself for the lump in my throat.
Stupid girl.
33
Elian
I left Arabella at home. Her house is the safest place for her to be tonight. I’m not sure if she felt the pain that I had experienced when I made love to her last night, but I have a feeling she did. Her intelligent mind may be playing out a variety of scenarios right now, but the one that’s the truth will never even pass her mind.
All the lies that we were built on had come to a head, and it’s my fault she was in danger. That’s not something I can live with. Guilt ate away at me. I needed to ensure her safety. I started out thinking
