“What is this?”
“I’ve spoken to my contacts, and I’ve heard all the buzz is around Shisha who is one of the most sought-after designers, and she’ll be designing your prom dress.” Her grin is sparkling as she stares at me, and I feel bad because I really didn’t want to party with everyone when my heart feels like it’s been ripped out and stomped on.
“I … I wasn’t going to go,” I finally tell her, tears brimming my lashes, turning my vision blurry with emotion.
Aunt Midge takes my hand in hers. “You know, your father was a difficult man. Your mother was as well. We never got on, but there’s one thing I learned from them. Even in their biggest fights, they still did what was expected of them.”
“And that’s why I hated my life,” I counter, “Posing for cameras, smiling when my heart was aching,” I tell her. “It’s not who I am.”
She nods slowly. “I know how that feels. That’s why I moved out here,” she informs me. “But I would like you to go to the prom, just because it’s a special day. Do it for me?” I don’t know what to say to her. “I can’t promise that your life will be perfect from here on out, but perhaps I can get your dad to just give you a call.”
“You knew he was alive?”
“Not at first, but he contacted me a month ago to tell me everything. I’m angry, I want to kill him myself, but I think it would be good for you.”
Shrugging, I try once more to smile, but fail. “I guess. I just hate all men.”
Her gaze holds me hostage, keeping me from turning away before she asks the question I’ve been trying to find an answer to. “Do you hate him?”
“Of course, I hate dad for—”
“Not him,” Midge interrupts, causing an image of Elian to spark into my thoughts like a photograph my mind took when I last saw him. “Do you truly hate Elian?”
I open my mouth to say yes, but then I can’t voice it. Because I know I don’t hate him. Not truly. I love him, and that’s what hurts me so much. He could’ve spoken to me, given me the truth instead of hiding everything from me.
“How do you know about Elian and me?” Shock laces my words as I stare at my aunt.
She grins as if she knows everything that happens in this town. And she probably does. “When I saw you with Ahren, I thought you may be dating him, but then when you didn’t bring him home and I still saw you around him, I figured there was more to the story.”
“You’re far too wise, Aunty Midge,” I tell her, a soft smile curling my lips.
“I try,” she informs me with a laugh, but then her expression turns serious. “You know, your parents weren’t good people,” Midge says, and I nod because I was never convinced I came from innocents. I’m a deviant, which makes them just as bad. Probably worse because they’ve had more time to cultivate the sinister things they’ve done.
“I know.”
“Your father was involved in illegal dealings for most of his life, and your mother, my sister, she was … God, she deserves anything that’s coming to her. Since we were kids, she had stolen, lied, and she’d hurt everyone in her path to get where she is. I’m not telling you this to hurt you.”
“I would rather know the truth than to believe lies.” This time, I know it’s the truth. Knowing where I’ve come from will ensure I don’t turn out like them. And that’s what I needed from Elian, the truth.
“Don’t push him away,” my aunt tells me. “I’ve regretted divorcing your uncle for so long, and look at me, this lonely old lady, holding onto a house that’s filled with memories I lost a long time ago.” She laughs, but it’s the first time I truly look into her eyes and see the pain, the heartbreak.
“I’ll think about it. And anyway, you’re not lonely. I’m here.” I push to my feet and round the table to give her a hug. I’m not sure how to get through heartbreak, but for now, I’ll keep my aunt close and hopefully learn how to forgive Elian for lying and for leaving me. Even though I sent him away.
On the way to school, I get lost in the lyrics of “So Far Away” by Martin Garrix, Jamie Scott, and David Guetta on repeat. It’s the only song that has kept my tears at bay but still causes my chest to tighten, reminding me that he did exist.
38
Elian
Exile.
I feel like I’m in fucking exile.
When I spoke to Ahren, I wanted to ensure he knew I wasn’t going after Adam to kill him. As much as I wanted my revenge, my brother made me see that taking Adam’s daughter for my own would be the best revenge. She’ll be happy beside me, and if he ever came near us, I would most certainly end him.
But that’s not what’s bothering me. The thought of her being alone, without me, has me on edge. I should apologize, I should also explain myself, but I’m not good with letting my feelings show. The most I’ve ever bared myself to someone was when I was practically engaged. And look how that turned out. But then again, I know Arabella isn’t my past, she’s my future. She just has to see it that way.
The plan I have set in place is going to be easy to pull off, but if it actually works is going to be the miracle. Which brings me to the house I’ve been at so many times, but I’ve never once come inside and spoken to Midge.
She opens the door for me, and she doesn’t look angry, which has my breath whooshing from my lungs in one fell
