Tiptoeing to the bottom of the stairs, I’d called up. ‘Matt? Honey, are you OK?’ When he didn’t reply, a feeling came over me that I couldn’t describe. I tried again. ‘Matt. Are you there?’ The bottom two stairs creaked as I started to make my way up, then at the top, Matt appeared from one of the bedrooms.
‘Amy. I assumed you were in the workshop. I came home early. I wasn’t feeling well.’ His annoyance obvious, his eyes didn’t meet mine.
‘Are you OK? Can I get you anything?’ As I carried on up the stairs, he stepped forward.
‘I’m fine. I’m coming down in a minute.’ His voice sharp, his behaviour was strange, too, with no explanation as to why he was going through drawers and cupboards.
‘I just want to make sure you’re alright.’
As he spoke through gritted teeth, I shrank back. ‘Amy, get the fuck away from me. I want some quiet. Leave me, OK?’
Not wanting to upset him further, I did as he asked. But there was something about the expression on his face. As he headed back towards our bedroom, I hurried up the rest of the stairs, but before I could get there, he spun around and stood in the doorway, blocking it.
‘What’s going on?’ My heart was fluttering, my stomach twisting as I took in the look in his eyes. Then I glanced past him, at the piles of clothes on our bed, feeling the blood drain from my face. ‘What are you doing, Matt?’
For a moment, he didn’t speak. ‘I’m looking for something.’ His voice was icy. ‘A jumper. Now for Christ’s sake, leave me in peace.’
‘Which one? Maybe I can help.’ I was trying to sound calm when inside I was anything but, desperate to know what he was hiding from me.
This time he shouted. ‘You can help by leaving me to get on with this. Fucking hell, Amy. Just go downstairs.’
Numb, I shook my head. ‘I can’t.’ A frantic whisper, my plea for this to be anything other than what it looked like. ‘What were you doing in the spare room?’ Turning, I started to walk towards it, when I felt Matt painfully wrench my arm, pulling me away. But not before I’d seen an open suitcase piled with clothes.
*
By the time I’m next interviewed by the police, I’ve decided to tell them about that episode. As I’m escorted back to the interview room, I’ve rehearsed in my head what I want to say. When PC Page and DI Lacey come in, before either of them speaks, I take a deep breath. ‘There’s something I should tell you about.’ Seeing both of them looking at me intently, I go on, as they start the tape. ‘I should have mentioned it before, but Matt didn’t always treat me well.’ My voice shakes slightly. ‘I wasn’t intentionally hiding anything, it’s more that it didn’t seem relevant. I suppose I wanted so badly to believe everything was OK between us. I didn’t want to admit that anything was wrong. Once you do, even to yourself, you have to do something about it. And I didn’t feel strong enough to face that.’
PC Page frowns at me. ‘When you’ve gone to such pains to say what a great relationship you had, even with evidence to the contrary, it’s quite a surprise to hear you admit it was anything but.’
Resigned, I shake my head. ‘It was a good relationship – at the start. But more recently, Matt would hurt me. When I first spoke to you, I was worried that if he found out what I’d been saying about him, he’d hurt me again.’
DI Lacey interrupts. ‘Ms Reid, from what we’ve learned about Mr Roche, his behaviour can only be described as intimidating and bullying. It’s hardly what most people would call a great relationship. So what happened on that day you were going to tell us about?’
‘He came home early from work and went upstairs. I heard him opening and closing drawers.’ My voice shakes. ‘When I went up to see what he was doing, there was a suitcase he didn’t want me to see. But they weren’t his clothes he was packing.’ Remembering, I shake my head. ‘They were mine.’
PC Page stares at me. ‘Why on earth would he have been packing your clothes?’
Forcing myself to focus on the table, I try to keep my voice steady as I go on. ‘He said he’d arranged for me to go and stay somewhere. Just for a while. Apparently, he was worried about me …’ I break off. ‘Matt was always so considerate. He’d thought of everything, you know.’ My words are laden with sarcasm. ‘He’d even timed it to perfection so that Jess would never know. He told me I had problems, so he was doing what he could to help me.’
‘Ms Reid, I’m not sure what you’re saying.’ DI Lacey’s voice cuts into the silence. ‘Had you seen a doctor?’
I shake my head. ‘He said I didn’t need to. He’d found somewhere for me to go. He was paying for it. Somewhere I could rest and get help.’
‘Did you go?’ The DI frowns.
‘Yes.’ I pause. He hadn’t given me a choice. ‘He said that if I didn’t, it proved I wasn’t as invested in our relationship as he was.’ It had been a small private hospital that had felt like a prison. ‘He said my problems were the reason things weren’t right between us. Apparently I didn’t think straight, especially when it came to my house.
