‘You went along with it?’ The DI sounds disbelieving.
I nod. ‘It was honestly intended to be innocuous. Kimberley was my sister. I would never have wished her any harm. Allie and I climbed into the walled corner of the garden where my gran worked. There was a door which she always kept locked, but part of the wall was crumbling – it had completely collapsed by the time I moved there. We found her notebook.’ In the small room, my voice seems to echo. ‘It listed what each plant symbolised. I don’t remember exactly what we used, but it was probably something like cyclamen, which means goodbye. Yellow rose for infidelity – Allie thought if Kimberley was unfaithful to him, Charlie would break up with her. Five-leaf clover for bad luck. Then …’ Remembering, I shake my head. ‘Allie added something from a bottle she found. I didn’t see her do it. I found out later, it was labelled darkness. She didn’t tell me until after Kimberley had drunk it – we’d poured the potion into her orange juice. We were always making potions – harmless ones, from lemon balm and mint or other such plants. Kimberley had no reason to believe this was any different. She went outside.’ I break off, struggling with my emotions. ‘That was when Allie told me what she’d done. I rushed after her. Kimberley was in front of the house. Her boyfriend had just turned up. She was already unsteady on her feet. Then she seemed to lose her balance …’ There’s anguish in my voice, the memory as clear as if it happened yesterday. ‘It was bad luck a delivery van was driving past. She was clearly disorientated. Somehow she lurched in front of the van. He hit her.’
The DI’s frown deepens. ‘You’re saying Ms Macklin did this? Without your knowledge?’
I nod. ‘I could never have done anything like that. I never wanted to hurt my sister. And I knew my gran’s philosophy, about the power of intention.’ I stare at him, imploring him to believe me. It’s like reliving a nightmare as I remember Allie’s recklessness, her obsessive jealousy. Her determination that she was going to have Charlie, no matter what it took.
‘Did you tell anyone what Allie had done?’
‘No. After the ambulance arrived, Allie and I hid. She told me it was my fault too and we were in it together. Then she said we had to make a vow, to protect ourselves. We cut our fingers and held them together, so that our blood blended. It meant we had to keep our secret. From there on, we were blood sisters.’
‘And all this time, no-one knew?’ PC Page sounds incredulous.
‘My gran found the potion we’d made.’ I stare at my hands, clasped in front of me on the table. ‘Then she found the bottle labelled DARKNESS in one of Allie’s pockets. She didn’t tell the police what we’d done, but she spoke to our parents. She told them that we’d meant no harm, but the fact that it happened at all was her fault, because she should have been more careful about locking everything away. Of course, it wasn’t her fault. They were behind a locked door.’ I remember, because we hadn’t been able to open it.
‘What happened next?’
Oh God. My parents. I remember their shocked, stricken faces, their inconsolable grief as their lives were devastated. Kimberley’s death killed something in them, too. It’s a memory that haunts me to this day, as does guilt, because I should have seen what Allie was doing. Even now, it’s too painful to think about. ‘My parents were devastated. They never got over it. How could they have? As soon as I was old enough, I left home. My father died shortly after and my mother sold the house and moved away. We kept in touch, but then I found out she’d had a heart attack and died. That was when I changed my name to Amy, before I met Dominic. I was desperate to leave that part of my life behind.’ It’s a part of my life I’ve hidden from Jess, too, hating how I haven’t been honest with her.
‘But even after changing your name, your grandmother still knew where to find you.’
‘She left me the house. But if I ever sold it, there was a letter that would go to the police, giving an account of what happened to Kimberley.’ I shake my head, defeated. ‘It was her way of punishing me.’
‘It’s hardly surprising you and Ms Macklin lost contact.’ The DI leans back in his chair. ‘You were each other’s worst reminder of what happened to your sister.’
It’s true. I couldn’t think of Allie, still can’t, without thinking of my sister. ‘After we lost touch, I found out that her parents had sent her away. Later, she told me they’d disowned her.’
DI Lacey taps his fingers on the table. ‘Which they clearly considered to be her punishment. While your grandmother didn’t consider the punishment you’d received severe enough, she left you a living memento of what you’d done, didn’t she? A house you could never sell, and a garden she’d planted so you’d never forget.’
Tears stream down my cheeks as I nod. Because it’s true. Each day I’ve lived there I’ve seen Kimberley’s face, lived with the echo of my grandmother’s anger, heard her words in my head, about the alchemist’s curse. Waited all these years for the balance to be redressed, knowing at some point, it would be. And now it has.
