Because she was worthless in his eyes.
And Paco, sitting here and holding her, was swearing on his life to save her. Her heart drummed in her chest. Paco had walked into her life, knowing the shame of her existence, and became the talisman of the perfect lover who was willing to die for her.
What made a man willing to do that? What was it about her that her father was selfish and incapable of loving her, but a practical stranger was willing to go to such extremes to keep her?
"Say something, Josie. I need to hear you." He cradled her head in his hands, holding her in front of him, forcing her to meet his gaze.
He had the ability to break her into a million pieces, and instead, he held her together.
She blurted. "You shouldn't have read my journal or broken into my apartment."
"You were missing. I needed to find you."
She pressed her lips together. She was thankful he'd searched for her and saved Cami, but the damage was done. How could he look at her without feeling disgust? What had he seen in her that everyone else couldn’t see?
"Hey." His hands tightened on her cheeks. "You did nothing wrong."
"Stop," she whispered.
"I'm fucking serious." He kissed her forehead. "What you lived through was not your doing. You survived, sweetheart. You're the strongest person I've ever known."
"I'm not." She closed her eyes, knowing what she'd put in her journal, what he'd read about her. Her fears were out there for him to see. "You know that. You've read it all."
"No, I don't see that." He kissed her nose, her cheeks, her chin. "If it takes the rest of my life, I'll prove how brave you are until you believe it. Someone weaker would never have made it out of what you went through."
"He sold me." Her throat tightened. "I watched Askook kill him, right in front of me. I did nothing."
He exhaled harshly and cradled her to his chest. Cocooned by his arms on his lap, she stayed there because she had no more strength to fight.
She wanted to believe him. Trusting him scared her to death. Once her father gave Askook ownership over her, she'd escaped the Rez. The prospect of living the rest of her life in fear of what Askook would demand as payment for her father's debt would be with her until she died.
Blackfoot honored their promises. She escaped and hid.
"You're not alone anymore. I'm right here, and I'm not going to leave you," he murmured.
She tipped her head back. "Who are you?"
How could a man, a stranger, come into her life and make promises? He believed in her. Even after reading what she'd lived through, he still wanted to go to war for her against men who had the power to destroy him.
"Just a biker, sweetheart." He kissed her softly. "One that doesn't want to lose you."
"I don't understand how you could want me." Her throat closed. "After everything..."
"You don't have to understand to believe. Sometimes, you only have to believe."
"Like Thunder bird..." she whispered.
She blinked as the tension in her body let go of the death hold on her. He had no idea what she was talking about, but it was no longer important for her to explain. He obviously knew what he wanted, and she had to believe in him.
He guided, but it was up to her to follow and trust.
He captured her mouth, more forceful and passionate than she could fight. Her stomach quivered at the confidence he had toward her. She hesitated, slowly opening her lips, taking his tongue, letting him show her, wanting to believe.
Taking her down on the bed with him, he pulled her hip close. Stretched out along his body, she lifted her leg and hung her knee over his thigh. With him, she felt stronger. The panic and impending danger of what her life had become seemed further away.
She held on to him. The desire to be one surged through her. With him, she wasn't scared. She wasn't weak. She was strong.
He rubbed the outside of her thigh and pulled his mouth off her. "Sweetheart, we need to take a break. I need to stay alert. Remember why I came?"
She scrambled from the bed and stood, breathing hard.
He slowly got to his feet, adjusted his crotch, and gazed at her. "You good?"
Knowing he stayed because he wanted to protect her from Askook and his men, she had to put everything they talked about to the side, to think about later. She nodded, understanding that he was feeling the same overwhelming emotions she was at the moment.
There was no explanation of why she felt connected to him or why she longed for his love. Maybe he made her feel wanted and accepted, despite her faults, she couldn't think straight.
She only knew that she was scared of not having him in her life. That there was something between them that told her she would find all she wanted within him.
Not wanting to distract him from what he came for, she stepped toward the bed again. She'd go to sleep and get up early, so he could get some rest before he had to leave.
He hooked her wrist, pulling her back. "You forgot something."
"What?"
"Me." He twined his rough, strong fingers through her fingers and led her to the bed.
Her heart skipped a beat as she followed him. She held on to hope that in the morning when the sun rises in the sky, Paco would still see her as he had tonight.
Chapter 20Josie
Paco lazily played with Josie's nipple. She stayed wrapped around his upper body, her head against his chest. Despite the emotionally draining night, she'd
