"What can we do?"
"I need to get to him. Tarkio can't go to the reservation. Nobody there will let a motorcycle club rider onto Blackfoot land, especially Robert Shaw. He controls the council, which makes the laws." She inhaled deeply. "I can go, though. Nobody will stop me."
"That creep will see you, and what if he takes you and holds you captive like he did before?"
"It doesn't matter." She lifted her chin. "Paco needs me. This all started because of me. Paco doesn't deserve this."
"You could get hurt."
"You don't know what they're capable of doing to Paco. It already might be too late."
Arguing back and forth, she grew stronger in her conviction to go to Paco. There was no other way to save him. Tarkio might believe they could rush in with guns, shooting anyone who stepped in their way, and that might work at the Casino until the tribal police were called, but not if Askook captured Paco on Blackfoot land.
Finally, she'd made a decision on what to do. She walked over to the front door and flashed the porch light twice. Not wanting to wait until Whip came to the door, she walked out of her apartment.
Whip jogged across the short span of lawn. "Did you hear from him?"
"No." She faced him squarely. "I'm letting you know that I'm going to the Rez."
"You can't."
"I can." She stood straighter. "I'm a registered Blackfoot with the Bureau of Indian Affairs. The council can't stop me from entering the reservation."
"You're not listening to what I'm saying." Whip exhaled heavily. "Paco would kill me if I allowed you to go."
"Yesterday, I would've agreed with you. But if he's there, I'm the only one who can help him leave. Askook—Robert Shaw isn't going to let him walk away alive after Paco one of his men and released Cami and the other woman. Even the tribal police will agree with him. Trust me, you wouldn't want Paco to disappear within the Blackfoot justice system."
"Fuck," muttered Whip.
"Please, I need to go." She grabbed his arm. "If you care about Paco, don't try and stop me."
Whip shook his head. Impatient, she bit her bottom lip. The longer it took for her to leave Missoula, the worst things could get for Paco.
"Give me five minutes to call Priest." Whip motioned with his chin. "Can I use your phone?"
"Yes, but I'm going to go, and Priest can't stop me."
"Oh, honey, he can stop you." Whip led the way back into the apartment.
While he went to the phone, she grabbed Cami and pulled her into the bedroom. Now that she was going, she said, "I have money I've been saving in the black boots in my closet. If I don't come back, I want you to take it and use it for the baby."
"Don't talk like that." Cami hovered near the door. "Can't Whip go with you?"
"No."
She looked around her room. There was nothing she needed. She was either coming back with Paco or not coming back at all.
Spotting her journal on the floor, she turned to Cami. "Can you give me a few minutes?"
Cami nodded, holding her stomach, and she left the bedroom.
Grabbing the journal, she glared at the root of her problem. If Paco hadn't found her journal, he would be safe.
She knew what she had to do.
It was easy to rip up what hurts her and leave the pieces on the ground, but in her desperation to rid herself of her problems, she'd spread more litter in her life. Her troubles only multiplied.
She found a book of matches in her dresser and carried the journal to the bathroom.
She lit the pages on fire and watched the flame grow. Then, she threw her past into the bathtub.
Cami and Paco ran into the bathroom. She ignored them as she watched the cover curl and smoke fill the small room. The proof of her shame burned to ashes, gone from the world.
"Josie?" Cami touched her back.
She held up her hand. "I'll be ready in a moment."
Aware of the others watching her, she stayed until every page was gone, and only the soot remained. Cleansed of her past, she turned to Whip.
"Well?" she said.
"There will be a crew of riders at the entrance to the reservation." Whip's gaze intensified. "You'll have two hours to find him, and then we'll ride in shooting."
"I'll need more time." She walked out of the bathroom. "Tell Priest the reservation is a big area. It's almost a hundred and fifty thousand acres. They could have him anywhere."
"Priest doesn't negotiate. He's not happy that you're going. You have to understand that not only are you putting yourself in danger, every Tarkio member who rides in after you is also taking a risk."
"That's why I need more than two hours."
Whip shook his head.
She pressed her lips together. Then, she'd have to hurry. The only person she wanted to be responsible for was herself.
She grabbed her car keys out of her purse. On her way to the door, she decided to take the knife she used for protection with her. She scoured the junk drawer in the kitchen until she found tape. Pulling up the leg of her jeans, she wrapped the knife to the side of her calf.
When she straightened, she looked at Cami. Her friend started to cry.
Knowing if she hugged Cami, she'd fall apart herself, she lifted her chin. "Call him Kitchi when he's small."
Cami shook her head and wiped her cheeks. "What does it mean?"
"Brave, like his mother."
Fresh tears fell, and Cami nodded. Josie looked at Whip. "I'm ready."
Her need to be with Paco outweighed her
