The steam thinned. Aware of him beside her, she pulled the towel in front of her and held it against her body.
"Let's go next door." Brage stood.
"I want to go back to the room." She wrapped the towel around her tightly, making sure the back covered her butt.
Cooler, thinner air rushed at her as Brage stepped out into the hallway. She sought the comfort outside of the room and inhaled deeply, more comfortable, almost giddy in relief. Embarrassment and frustration at Brage for strong-arming her to go in the sauna with him in her past, she let happiness from being away from the heat consume her.
Brage opened the next door. She stayed in the hallway, knowing it was the bathroom. While large, it was a singular use room, not a community restroom.
He reached back and grabbed her wrist. She had no way of fighting him in a towel. Voices came from a few doors down where Slag members stayed.
Noticing he never locked the door; she turned the simple lock. She would never get used to the blatant nudity around the clubhouse. It was easier to avoid looking at others she'd seen traipse down the hallway with no clothes on than deal with being naked herself.
Brage turned on the shower. Before she could figure if he planned to take a bath and why she needed to witness one of his private daily tasks, he picked her up and plopped her down under the spray of water.
Shock exploded inside of her. Her arms flailed, and she jolted, pushing to escape the freezing cold water. The surprise of going from suffocating hot in the sauna to bitterly cold broke something inside of her. She moved toward the warmth— which happened to be Brage.
She couldn't get close enough.
She couldn't get small enough.
Burying her head against his chest, she hopped from foot to foot, squeezing all air out between their bodies. She needed more of her skin touching him. She needed his comfort. She needed him to protect her.
Great sobs rocked her body. Unable to catch her breath, the wails coming out of her frightened her. She had no one to help her. She'd never had anyone. Always depending on herself, she couldn't even save herself.
"Mhm." Brage's lips moved against the top of her head. "I've got you."
Her legs weakened. He tightened his arm around her.
The cold no longer registered. This was her life. Pain, suffering, and lacking love, she'd often felt as helpless.
"Let's get you warmed now." Brage's body shifted.
The water temperature changed slightly. She gulped air to stop crying. The fight in her gone.
Standing with her eyes closed, aware of Brage washing her hair, her body, her mind pushed her away from what was happening.
When Brage wrapped a towel around her and walked her back to the bedroom, she paid no attention to see if he locked the door. She crawled into bed and collapsed into the softness.
Chapter 14
Dinah woke with a start. Peering in the darkness, she grabbed on to her bearings.
She was in Brage's room.
In the clubhouse where Brage lived.
Brage was beside her.
She panted for breath. The woman hovering above her was only in a dream.
Slowly taking the blanket off her, she scooted to the end of the bed and put her feet on the floor. She sat, trying to calm down. The dreams came more often lately. Stress always brought them back with a vengeance.
From experience, the remnants of the dream that left her floundering to understand the odd feeling inside of her would disappear once she came fully awake. She looked to the door. Stuck in the room and unable to leave only multiplied her stress.
"Bad dream?" asked Brage.
Her back stiffened. Living side by side, he noticed everything about her.
"It's nothing," she murmured.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Brage's voice deepened as he stretched on the bed.
She shivered. For as long as she could remember, anxiety plagued her when her defenses were down. During the day, she had no problems facing her problems and taking care of Brad and Tony. When she'd finally moved out on her own, she'd hoped the dreams would stop.
And, in some ways, they had. Unless she was under stress and in need of rest.
"I'm just..." She exhaled loudly, trying to relieve the tension. "I dream a lot when things are bothering me."
The mattress shifted. Brage's legs appeared on each side of her, and his hands landed on her shoulders. Situated behind her, he worked his fingers into the tight knots on the side of her neck.
"Close your eyes." He massaged her overworked muscles.
He contradicted himself too often for her to relax around him. She was still mad at him. He wanted to enjoy sleeping with her but kept her under lock and key.
If she had one person in her life who cared about her and her safety, he wouldn't be able to keep her here. The police would be knocking at the door looking for her.
But she was alone. Brad was in prison. Tony was deep in his own shit, he wouldn't or couldn't help her.
"Why does everything have to be so hard?" she muttered.
"You're making things more difficult for yourself than they need to be." He worked his thumbs down each side of her spine.
She arched her back. His manipulations hurt in a good way.
"Yeah, right." She grimaced, pressing back into his hands. "You're not me. Ever since I can remember, I've struggled. School was hard. Friendships were difficult. Every test caused me to panic. I couldn't even make sense of the rules of the road when it was time to get my driver's license on my fifteenth birthday, and no one would help me. Things were supposed to get easier, but trying to work to pay my rent when I've been laid off adds more stress. My brothers..."
"Your brothers...what?"
"Nevermind." She pulled away from his touch and stood, hating that she was blabbering and feeling sorry for herself. "You don't want to hear about me.
