Chapter Twenty-Five
Dex sat on the couch at home in the dark with Panda on herlap. She’d been successful at keeping Emma out of her thoughts while she wasworking, but all her distractions were gone now. She glanced out theplate-glass windows spread across the front of the house. The glow of Christmaslights had begun to light the room. She stared at the magical hues she’d lovedsince childhood and thought about how the day had played out. She’d alreadyreplayed it too many times in her head, and she didn’t know how theirrelationship had disintegrated in so little time. Panda purred as Dex rubbedunder her ears.
Everything had been wonderful Sunday morning when she’d leftEmma’s house. She’d been so happy to see her when she’d showed up at the jobsite, then totally stunned at the emotional bombshell Emma had dumped on her.And she’d been even more surprised at herself for not having the courage totell Emma how she felt about her. The more she thought about watching her driveaway, the more it hurt.
Knowing how much Emma was hurting and that she’d caused itmagnified the pain in her heart a thousand times. She’d watched the emotionsplay out in Emma’s face as she’d gone from thoughtful, to curious, to intenselysober, and then, in a flash, detached—all in the span of ten minutes. Seeingthe tears flow down her cheeks had sliced right through Dex, and she couldn’tdo anything to fix the situation. She couldn’t think of any way to ease herpain until she fully purged her feelings for Grace and put the loyalty she heldfor her in its proper place.
Emma was right. Dex hadn’t given her heart to her completelybecause she was terrified of being hurt again. She’d created a wall to preventher heart from being smashed to pieces like it had been when she’d given it toGrace so long ago. Any smart girl would’ve distanced herself from Grace rightthen.
She took her phone out of her pocket and stared at the voice mailshe’d received from Grace during the middle of her conversation with Emma. Herfucking timing was ridiculous. She still hadn’t listened to it and slid it ontothe side table. She was going to have to deal with her, but she couldn’t do itright now.
The front door flew open and Panda scattered. “Dex, are you home?”Juni asked as she hustled inside. “I brought pizza.”
“I’m here,” she said softly from her place on the couch.
“Why is it so dark in here?” Juni flipped on the lights, and Dexblinked to adjust to the brightness. “Have you just been sitting there sinceyou called me?”
“Yeah.” She hadn’t known what else to do.
Juni dropped the pizza box on the kitchen counter, took her coat off,and hung it on the back of the kitchen chair before she came into the livingroom. “Fuck, Dex. You haven’t even changed your clothes yet.”
“Didn’t feel like it. No reason to.”
“Oh, honey. It can’t be that bad. What happened?”
“Emma told me yesterday that she doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
“What? Just like that? She didn’t give you a chance to talk?”
She shook her head.
Juni flopped on the couch next to her. “Then why don’t you marchright back over there and tell her how you feel?”
“Because I don’t know how I feel. Maybe she’s right.”
“Jesus, Dex. Don’t you think you should’ve thought about thatbefore you made her fall in love with you?”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious. That makes me feel a whole lot better.”She launched off the couch. “What kind of pizza did you bring?”
“Hold on a minute.” Juni launched off the couch as well andfollowed her. “I need more details.”
Dex took a couple of beers from the refrigerator, opened them, andhanded one to Juni. She leaned against the counter and took a long pull beforeshe told Juni what Emma had said to her, fighting to keep her emotions undercontrol as she recited the events. When she lost the battle, Juni rounded thecounter and took her in her arms.
“I’ve never encouraged Grace’s neediness. Have I?”
“You haven’t encouraged it, but you haven’t rejected it either.”
She swiped at her tears. “Explain.”
Juni backed out of Dex’s personal space and propped herselfagainst the adjacent counter. “Here’s the thing, Dex. If I were Emma and youwere a guy, I would’ve left you in the dust a long time ago.” Juni had herattention now. “You can’t be in love with Emma and still jump every time Gracecalls.”
“I don’t do that.”
“Yes, you do. Enough so that it came between you and Emma.” Junipaced across the room. “Grace has you so fucked up, you may be permanentlydamaged. Too damaged for any other woman. I have to give Emma credit. Shetried.”
“That fucking blunt gene you have that comes along with the sistergene sucks.”
“I know it does. But you need it right now. Everyone at Grace’swedding saw how devastated you were, including Emma. Yet she took care of you,left you sweet little notes in the morning. Remember?”
Dex closed her eyes. “I do.”
“Has Grace everdone anything like that for you?”
“Not like that, but she’s always been there when I needed her.”
“You have to know by now that she’s never going to be that personfor you.” Juni poked a finger into Dex’s chest. “That person is Emma. You knowyou’ve made a big fucking mistake by letting Grace interfere. I can see it inyour eyes right now.”
She lifted her shoulders and let them drop. “So what do I do?”
“You wait a few days. Emma’s going to miss you.” She ripped a fewpaper towels from the rack and snagged a slice of pizza from the box. “In themeantime, you have to tell Grace that Emma comes first. Set the boundaries,Dex, or she won’t ever stop.” She held the slice in front of Dex, and she wavedher off. “You work out in the cold all day.
