“Thank you, Kyle for being there for me.” I whispered instead of a confirmation to call him tomorrow.
When I finally closed the door to the motel room shutting out the world, I walked to the bathroom and ran me a bath. As soon as my foot touched the hot water my tears ran free. Here in this bathroom I didn’t have to hold back my sobs. And I’m not talking about baby sobs, I sat in that tub and had me a good ugly cry.
How could I have been such a fool? I told myself not to fall in love with him. My brother had tried to warn me about him. He wanted to tell me something, but just like Kyle, he didn’t because he saw my nose was wide open.
Oh God!
This was my first time experiencing this kind of heartbreak. Nobody ever warned me about it. They never said that it made you feel so low to the ground you might as well be dirt. Nobody ever said that it felt as if someone punched you in the stomach leaving you breathless.
Why didn’t I see this coming?
Not once since I’ve been back in D.C. has he invited me over to his place. He never took me to any of the dinners and events that he was constantly invited to. The only thing he wanted me for was sex.
I grinded my palms in my eyes.
The sex…
I had been blinded by it. How could I not? The man made love as if his very life depended on it. He wasn’t satisfied until I’m left shaking and panting, begging him for mercy, yet begging for more. In all the lustful, sweaty nights, it never crossed my mind that it was the height of our relationship.
I looked at my pathetic reflection in the water. “What else does a man want with his mistress?”
He never lied. It was me. He had me sign a contract to be his mistress. It was me that started reading more into it than what was there. I had lied to myself. Groaning I hit my head with my fist.
I wanted to go home. I wanted to get on the first thing smoking back to Chicago. I should have never left my neighborhood or the protection of my brother. This is what he tried to keep me from. Alice was right, I didn’t know how the game was played here in D.C.
This whole time he had a woman. This whole time he had made me feel as if I was his world. This whole time he had played me for the fool I am.
I had to do something. I needed to make some moves. But the only thing I managed to move was my body from the bathtub to the bed. And that is where I stayed for nearly two days.
I would have stayed longer, but Kyle showed up at my door.
“Who is it?” I muttered from the bed.
“It’s Kyle.”
I exhaled putting the cover back over my head. I didn’t want to deal with him. I didn’t want to deal with anybody.
“Journey, open up. You promised you would go to lunch with me yesterday. I waited all day, you never called.”
I did not…
Throwing the covers back I sat up. My whole body protested the movement.
“Kyle, I’m not hungry.” I couldn’t even change the fact that I whined that.
“I know you may not feel hungry now, but once you get out into the fresh air and the sunlight, you will see that you are. It’s been almost two days, you have to eat.” He paused for just a moment.
“I know this really nice restaurant that have the best jerk chicken in town.” I collapsed back in the bed just wishing he would go away.
“Come on, Journey. I’m not going to go away. You’ve been closed up in there too long. Queen, you don’t deserve this.”
Tears came to my eyes… Kyle called me his queen, but Jo made me feel like his queen. I sat up and dried my eyes.
“Okay, I’ll be out in a sec.” I told him trying my best not to cry. I was tired of crying.
“Okay sweetheart, I’ll be waiting right out here in my car.” I nodded wiping away another flow of tears. However, it did no good, as soon as I got in the shower they sprang free. What Kyle said was true. I could not stay shut up in this room forever, mainly because I had to check out today; the hundred dollars he had given me had reached its limit.
But the Heavenly Father knows I did not want to leave this room. I did not want to go home to my mother’s questions and Jo’s apologies. I did not want to deal with the fact that Ayana, who now loved her father just as much as she loved me, would not understand why her little family wasn’t together anymore.
Now I had to be one of those mothers that had to share a child with a man I could barely stand to look at. Exhaling I pulled my black sweatpants and a t-shirt out my bag. Pulling my locs back into a ponytail I took one last look at myself in the mirror. I was presentable, but it looked as if I was on my way to identify the body of a loved one.
Oh well…
The sun burned my eyes when I exited my room with my bag on my shoulder. I wish I had thought to grab my shades.
“Hey Journey, you look amazing.” Kyle said as he opened the car door for me. I tried to smile at him, but the smile may have come out a bit of a sneer.
Kyle drove some kind of sports car that sat low to the ground. I think it was a Corvette, but don’t quote me. Leaning my head back against the seat
