I froze for a minute on the path, watching him go and feeling the argument weigh heavy in my stomach. I pulled my hand from my pocket and scratched at the skin behind the doodles.
I followed eventually, ambling on at a slow pace and looking at the wildlife in the canal as I walked. Tye and his mother were far ahead by the time I looked up, yet Isabella was walking back towards me.
“Hi, I thought you could use the company,” she linked arms with me again, happy to be an instant friend.
“Thanks,” I pinned a smile to my cheeks, trying to be just as happy as she was. After a minute of peaceful silence, my eyes drew back to Tye where he was rubbing the back of his neck again in his normal stressed out action as he spoke to his mum. “Isabella, can I ask you something… private?”
“Of course,” the girl smiled, unaffected by my prying.
“How do you feel about your dad and the business? I mean, really feel.”
She raised her eyes from the path to the skyline and the trees around us, her smile had turned sad though she kept it.
“Tye might not have told you this, but when our dad was young, his parents died.”
“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s alright, don’t be silly,” she waved it away as though it were no big deal. “My mum says that this is why he is the way he is. Desperate to keep us all close.”
“Because he lost his family before?” It was a heart-breaking thought; I could feel the crack of pain in my own chest just trying to imagine it.
“If we go into the business, then it’s a way for him to make sure we’ll never…” she struggled for the right words. “Well, I guess he doesn’t even want us to move away. He can’t stand the fact Tye is in Exeter now.” She whispered the words, as though wary her dad was in the bushes of the canal path and could hear us.
“This is why Tye won’t tell him bluntly that it will just never happen?” The pieces fell into place. How could you tell a man who had already had such heartbreak that you didn’t want to follow his plan and stay by his side? That couldn’t be easy.
“Exactly,” Isabella nodded. “I have been tempted to, many times,” she looked at me, the smile too sad for comfort. “I know Tye never will. Yet every time I consider it, somehow the words falter in my mouth.”
“Maybe it’s something that would be easier for you two to say together?” Yet my words were met with a soft shake of the head.
“I don’t think we can. Things that should be shared are not always easy to talk of. Are they?”
“No,” I shook my head, looking down at my wrist covered in ladybugs. “No they’re certainly not.”
“I’m going out tonight,” she smiled, a genuine smile this time. “I’m going to have a couple of drinks and forget about this for a time. That’s how I cope with it, you know?”
“Ignoring it?”
“Something like that. I think of it as distraction. Putting the sadness away in a locked cupboard.”
Chapter 15
“You doing okay then love?” My dad asked for a second time over the phone. I had hidden in Tye’s garden, still upset from the walk that afternoon. As the evening drew in, Isabella had gone to the pub, desperate to avoid a conversation with her dad. The very act somehow forced my hand and I found myself escaping to the far edge of the garden, sitting on a low tree stump and finding the courage to call my dad. It had been a stunted conversation, not helped by my mood.
“I’m fine.” I lied again. Despite the fact we had already said the same words, my dad could hear it in my tone. He knew I was not. “What is her name? I realised… I hadn’t asked.”
“Clarissa.” He was smiling, I was sure I could hear it through the phone. “She’s nice, Ivy. Honestly.”
“I believe you,” I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. My gaze wandered back up to the house as the night began to pull in. Through the kitchen windows, I could see Tye and his dad sat at the table, arguing again. Behind them, Ellen stood, making tea and not interrupting. “Dad…” The Aritza’s refusal to talk, to put their foot down with their dad was starting to stir something in mind. I don’t really know why. “Mum says you got together with her in April.”
“She did?”
“Was it really April?” I turned my eyes away from the kitchen, down to the ladybugs on my hand. The night’s shadows were creeping in, making it hard to see the doodles. “You know why I’m asking, right?”
“I’m sorry, love. Yes, it was last April. I just…” He paused, trying to search for the right words. “I think we all cope in our own ways. I don’t pretend in the slightest my way was a good way.”
“Okay.” It wasn’t okay though; it was very much the opposite. How could he? I felt myself rearranging on the tree stump, growing more and more restless with movement. “Do you ever think about her, Dad?” I didn’t need to say her name.
“Of course I do,” his voice was soft, whispering. Was he trying to hide the conversation from his new woman? Well guess what, I got here long before she did, I deserved his attention more than she did surely. I didn’t want him to hide me from her.
“You never talk of her. Do you mention her to Clarissa?”
There was silence on the other end of the phone, telling me exactly all I needed to hear. I
