Divorce sucks.
Being the only child when your parents are splitting up was also nauseous. Something in the back of my mind told me it would be nice to talk to someone going through it, who really understood it all. Receiving daily phone calls from my mum where we only spoke of the divorce and her heartbreak was gut wrenching. As though those little lady bugs had crawled up my arm and down into my skin, forming a pit in my stomach.
I looked down at the ladybugs at the thought and wiped the bead of blood away.
To top off my miserable mood, I had promised the others I would join them at a house party tonight. One where Tye was likely to be.
I huffed before standing and pulling out my traditional skinny jeans from the wardrobe, throwing them on the bed. The last thing I needed to see was Ellie making out with Tye. It just wouldn’t exactly help to improve my bitter mood.
Perhaps the skinny jeans were not a good idea.
“Wow, I like this look,” Cara’s sing-song voice cooed in my ear as Leonora and I joined her at the party.
“Thanks,” I looked down at the dress I had opted for. Short, black and white, low v-cut cleavage, it certainly suited my odd hair colour and stood out more than the jeans. I tried not to analyse why I had made this decision. It wasn’t as if I was trying to impress anyone… right? “How drunk are you Cara?”
“Not enough!” Cara grabbed our hands and dragged us towards the kitchen. Only when she could swap her own hand in mine with a drink did she let go.
I raised the glass of alcopop to my lips then stopped as my eyes fell on the dancing ladybugs on my hand. I suddenly didn’t feel like drinking anymore. I put the cup back down as Cara looked at me questioningly.
“Not thirsty,” I shrugged, though I was painfully aware of Leonora watching me carefully. “Whose house is this by the way?”
“Nobody knows!”
It was a busy party. Instead of taking part in her usual competition with Ellie, Leonora stayed with Cara and me to drink, dance and generally chat. Cara tipped dangerously from tipsy to very drunk, whilst the two of us stayed completely sober. Leonora was taking her responsibility as designated driver very seriously after her recent mishap.
I always think parties are a lot better when you do drink, yet I still didn’t feel like I wanted to pick up that glass. Leonora knew this, perceptive as ever, constantly passing me fanta instead. Tonight alcohol would just bring back memories of something that had happened long ago. Something that had started my parents evolving from bickering, to full on shouting matches. I did not want to think about it that night.
“Have you seen Ellie?” I asked Cara just as Leonora slipped away to the bathroom. Cara was busy pouring herself another drink at the edge of the kitchen.
“Yeah, she’s on the hunt. Going for the next guy on her list.”
The confirmation sunk low on my shoulders.
“I wish she didn’t have to,” I muttered, pushing away the alcopop Cara was offering me.
“Wait, what did you say? You like the guy she is going after?” Her big brown eyes were wide with expectation.
“Crikey, you pounced on that!” I laughed, urging her to quieten her voice. “It’s like a cat following a laser light.”
“Can’t help it. So, do you?”
“I don’t know,” I shifted my weight between my feet, struggling to put the wayward and random thoughts I had been having into words or anything that made sense. “Seriously attracted to him, then yes.”
“Like moth to a flame style?”
“Like moth to a bonfire.” I exaggerated for dramatic effect. “My poor little moth wings will get burnt.”
“Sounds painful,” Cara giggled. “You have to tell Ellie.”
“What? No I don’t.”
“Tell her now,” she prodded me with a surprising amount of determination and force for someone so small. “Look, if I had told Leonora who I liked last term, there is no way she would have gone for him.”
“That’s true,” I shrugged, knowing Leonora’s nature well. She still didn’t know about Cara’s crush and I certainly didn’t fancy being the one to tell her.
“Exactly. So go and tell Ellie before she sinks her gorgeous claws in.” She pushed me out of the kitchen.
“God you’re strong for being so tiny! You’re like a little evil pixie.” I groaned and rubbed the sore spot on my ribs she had prodded.
“Aww, I love you too,” she smiled falsely with glee then shut the kitchen door on me, ending the conversation.
“Pixie!” I called through the door.
“More like a fairy. Fairy godmother,” she called back through. “Now go!”
I stomped off around the rooms in search of Ellie, not particularly liking my new task that Cara had pushed on me, even though she was right.
The party seemed even busier than earlier, so much so that finding one person in here was more insane than a needle in two haystacks. I kept bumping into people, ending up being pushed into walls and nearly knocking over precious ornaments. I saved one before it hit the ground, wincing at the thought I might have broken something really expensive.
I eventually did clock eyes with someone I knew. Benji was standing in the corridor, talking to a couple of guys who looked vaguely familiar.
“Hey, Benji?”
“Yeah?” He turned round instinctively but followed it with a frown. Maybe he still did not know who I was. I tried not to roll my eyes, honestly. I’m not sure I managed it.
“Have you seen Ellie?”
“Yeah, she’s out the back.”
I walked past them quickly, not wanting to linger for him to ask who I was, but I
