She finished her snack and stowed her trash in her pack. As shecontinued on the trail, she wished she’d brought a pair of earbuds. She didn’tnormally have any trouble losing herself in her surroundings, but today shehadn’t seen any wildlife, and none of the foliage grabbed her eye. In fact, shehadn’t pulled out her camera once. Where she normally found peace, today shefelt only overwhelming loneliness. She’d invited Nina along once, months ago,mostly out of obligation. But Nina had declined. Since then, she’d enjoyed thesolitude.
This morning, she’d apparently carried the rest of her life ontothe trail with her. She’d reexamined her recent time with Teddy, tryingunsuccessfully to stay objective. He’d been absentminded and a little confused,but not enough to worry yet about dementia. He’d fallen but hadn’t beenseriously injured. So, maybe her fear of losing her one remaining parentalfigure had overshadowed her ability to see Teddy as simply an aging man, indecent health for his age, who would have the occasional bad day. But shecouldn’t control the sick feeling in her stomach.
Since her own parents had died, she’d felt as if she’d beenprematurely grieving Jacqueline’s parents as well. The death of Jacqueline’smom had been hard, but Teddy—well, that would be excruciating. During Sean’steen years, when he’d become rebellious and sometimes angry, she’d cried onTeddy’s shoulder. When he’d secretly tracked down his biological mother onFacebook, only to find she’d gone on to have two children after giving him up,he’d relied on Teddy for comfort and advice. Teddy had been a partner inraising Sean—in ways that Jacqueline never had.
Jacqueline had shut down on her well before the separation—afterElle. She’d buried herself in her work and traveled more than ever. Caseyresented Jacqueline’s ability to step away from her family and leave her todeal with it all. Jacqueline acted so distant from every part of theirrelationship that picking a fight seemed the only way Casey could wrestle somekind of reaction from her.
Initially, after the breakup, trying to co-parent had taxed theirability to be civil with each other. They’d struggled to be cordial aroundSean, but stuffing those emotions had inevitably led to blowups later.
They’d put all of that behind them and become two people raisinga son. Casey had long ago released the thread that connected her to Jacqueline.And while she’d admit to an occasional yearning for the kind of fresh,uncomplicated love they’d once shared, she never expected to feel a tug on thatstring again. Last week, when Jacqueline had broken down in her arms, Casey hadwanted nothing more than to fold into her and comfort her.
But she had a partner, she reminded herself. She had to remindherself, because she was out here stomping around in the woods alone. Shedidn’t want to be attached to the person she dated twenty-four seven. And untiltoday, she’d enjoyed these quiet hikes by herself. But she’d like for Nina toshow a bit more interest in her hobbies. Of course, she only begrudgingly wentalong on the microbrewery tours Nina liked so much. But at least she’d made aneffort.
She worried that she could so easily say what she didn’t likeabout their relationship. They were getting ready to move in together.Shouldn’t she still be in the blindly happy phase? Almost certainly, if Ninafound herself with a morning off, she would have spent her time searching theMLS listings for a house they could share. Casey’s first thought had been toescape her life for a few hours.
*
Jacqueline had heard more than she cared to about the newinsurance plan. The representative from the contracted insurance company hadspent two hours yesterday on health-reimbursement accounts alone. Someoneshould have told her she was speaking to a roomful of human-resourcesprofessionals, so she wouldn’t structure her training as if presenting it to abunch of new hires in orientation.
Jacqueline’s four-hour drive on Monday had taken more than six,due to a rollover accident just before Chattanooga. After spending all dayTuesday in staff meetings, they’d begun the insurance training classesyesterday. Two of the three nights, she’d endured dinner and drinks with Owenand several other coworkers. She’d slipped away from their table between dinnerand dessert to call Casey. But even the corner of the restaurant that shetucked herself into was too loud for more than a quick check-in. Her father wasgood. And since she couldn’t hear very well, and Casey had nothing new toreport, Jacqueline couldn’t find a reason to keep her on the phone.
This morning, she’d called her father while driving in to theregional office for the day’s sessions. She’d consumed her first cup of coffeeon an empty stomach, and the remaining half of her second cup still sat on thetable in front of her.
When the speaker called for a short break, Jacqueline shifted inher chair, thankful for the chance to get up and restore circulation to herlegs. She left the room and kept going until she passed through the front door.Once outside, she took a few laps around the yard. Most of the drivers hadheaded out with full trailers earlier in the day, but the ever-present smell ofdiesel exhaust tainted the air.
She pulled out her phone, pleased to see a message from Martiasking if she was free for drinks later. She was supposed to drive home afterthis afternoon’s sessions, but she could definitely use a little distraction.If she asked, Casey would check on her father for one more night. She typed outa quick affirmative reply to Marti.
Five minutes later, she’d just poured herself a glass of waterfrom the pitcher on the table at the back of the conference room when her phonerang. She answered on her way to her seat, but seconds later, she knew sheneeded more privacy. She abandoned her water, scooped up her notebook and apen, and stepped back out of the room. The rest of her colleagues returned tothe meeting, giving her the hallway to herself.
Lena Blackstone, one of the drivers in Knoxville, claimed thatmanagement had discriminated against her. She was sketchy on details andinsisted that Jacqueline come over there and see for herself. Jacqueline jottedas many notes as she could manage
