Next, we went to a moonshine distillery that had twelve flavors and stockpiles of the stuff.
“We saw this store in Nashville, but it was almost completely cleaned out,” Matilda said before trying some of the peach. “Oh, this is surprisingly nice.” She glanced at the group that were probationary coven. “Why don’t you ladies grab a few cases and take it back to the castle to share? Let the others know we’re heading to Inez’s vacation home for the small after-party.”
I gave her a questioning look when they were gone, but she simply chuckled.
“You have very loose lips when you drink,” Nora reminded me. “You don’t know they’re staying as your coven, so they don’t need to know anything they shouldn’t.” She boxed up a case, one of each flavor, and handed it to one of her ladies. “And I think it best you get out whatever it is going on with you before more guests arrive.”
“Or you accept my son’s oath,” Matilda added, but gently, like she wasn’t judging me, but she understood I was in pain.
I sighed, nodding and letting them whisk us off to the house in Montana. I didn’t even bother with a swimsuit, stripping off my clothes and getting right in the pool.
“Do you still not know how to swim?” Lara asked as she got in as well, handing me a jar of moonshine.
“In my spare time,” I grumbled, sighing when a few people chuckled. “Hey, I asked for someone to teach me, but Jaxon kept… Not teaching me to swim. I doggy paddle just fine in emergencies.”
“So, what is this rift I’ve sensed with Darius?” Nora asked once we were all lounging, enjoying the summer night in the cool water while drinking good booze that made us feel warmer.
“You guys talked, right?” Hope added.
“Sort of. Yes, finally.” I sighed and took a huge gulp before leaning my head on the ledge. “He spun out on something, the what doesn’t really matter as he’s fine with it now I guess. He just walked away and was… Gone.”
“While building you a castle and doing all the work he does?” Hanna asked, her tone implying that didn’t sound feasible.
“He was,” Trisha defended. “He didn’t run off and join the circus, but he was never at group meetings unless it was about the construction. I barely saw him at meals. He never helped her with the ghosts—”
“No, he ghosted her when he didn’t agree with her,” Lara bitched. “Now he’s back and he’s saying he didn’t abandon you? What is that? What did he even say to defend that?”
“He didn’t really,” I whispered, staring up at the stars. “He blinked and it was two months. I don’t know—it felt like he washed his hands of me, but then I keep wondering if I’m a hypocrite. Didn’t I get upset that they didn’t come back and try to make things right after I told them to leave me alone?”
“That’s different,” Maggie defended. “They messed up and you told them to piss off until you were ready to hear their apology. This was him walking away from you a few times when you tried to fix things or make him understand. That’s not—I wouldn’t have chased after him. Maybe if it was that first night or even week, but he knew he was dodging you.”
Lara nodded. “Yeah, and with his shit about you having a line waiting to replace him, it was especially shitty to just walk. I honestly don’t know how to reconcile this time or the path to forgive him and get back to being you.”
“I don’t know that I want to,” I admitted, tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. “I get spinning out, even it was over something stupid. I did that. I get it. We’re in the fucking apocalypse and everything is more serious and crazy compounds.”
“Then what’s stopping you?” Hope asked softy.
“He left me,” I rasped. “He just left, gone, poof.” I wiped my eyes and took another drink. “I lived so many years on my own, giving up on people as they always hurt or betrayed me, and I knew nothing. He was the one to reach out to me and be there, show me someone could really care and think I was someone special, not just a commodity. And then he just left and I thought I would die.”
“You’ve been grieving,” she surmised.
I nodded. “Why the fuck would I ever risk going through that again? I don’t want to feel that again or be alone and it’s not about replacing him, but why would I ever see if he’d stay for real this time? Falling in love and being together is one thing, but letting that love back in when it abandoned you like that for two months seems the stupidest thing ever.”
“Is that what your heart or your head is telling you?” Trisha asked.
“Both.”
“Shit,” she hissed.
Yeah, that about summed it up.
9
Petre
I was totally sunk on Inez. At first, I thought she was a bit bratty, but I could understand that given Safie kidnapped her and was trying to force her to agree to be adopted. That would make the best people brats.
Then, I was impressed. She was powerful, young, but incredibly powerful. And kind. That was a new one when thinking of a princess.
Yes, she was gorgeous, all princesses were, but she had a pure wildness about her that captivated me in a way I couldn’t explain. I understood why Vitor loved her. She was the exact opposite of the house of Darbandi and even his own family who had offered him up to the monsters to be saved.
And yes, I loved how she was with her nobles and others she cared about. She
