“I’m sorry,” Jaxon whispered. “I’m so sorry, Inez.”
I shrugged before finishing the jar. “What’s that stupid phrase I hate? ‘First world problems’ because people misused it, not understanding it was a political distinction. Other people are getting eaten by corrupted or living in hell because it’s the apocalypse, and I’m going to bitch one husband abandoned me and the other didn’t love me as much as I thought?
“Didn’t want me as much as I wanted him and was glad I was just easy? It’s fine, rush and lock me in so the working for it is done. I don’t listen to the promises anymore since they were said in the heat of the moment or whatever. I didn’t know that was a thing and believed them all. Stupid, naïve Inez, right? Clueless baby who turns on the power and is a catch and nothing more.”
I pushed to stand and went for another jar, but it was taken out of my hand by Kristof. He cupped my face and lowered his forehead to mine.
“You are more to me than that, and I do not love you because of Aether’s pushing. I love you in spite of it.” I wasn’t sure what to say that didn’t sound like I was calling him a liar, so I nodded. “You don’t believe me?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I kind of think you should have realized all of this weeks ago, but you were so busy plotting how to show me off to everyone I don’t know, and certainly don’t want to have a weekend of sex in front of, to notice. Branko was the only one giving me looks like he was worried at how I phrased things. He’ll stop noticing if we ever get engaged probably.”
I pulled away from him and went for my clothes, dry enough now to put them back on. I did and hung up the towel, no one saying anything as I did. I went over to Sisay and asked him to take me home.
“Yeah, sure thing, Inez,” he whispered, tucking my wet hair behind my ear. He leaned in and kissed my forehead before picking me up and whisking us back to the castle. I got a kiss on the hair this time when he set me down. “You want help up to your room?”
“Nope, gonna raid the kitchen,” I muttered, giving him a wave. “Thanks, Sisay.”
“Anytime.”
I headed inside, ignoring it was hard to walk a straight line as I made my way to the kitchen. I found Sebastian there building a tray and snorted. “Nora has to tell me her secret. It’s been centuries and you’re still so attentive to her. Under six months and one basically left me, but he can’t, and the other just enjoys that he has the cow.” I sighed, sounding whiny to my own ears and went to the fridge.
“I don’t have an answer,” he said gently. “But I will say we’ve had our ups and downs too, Inez. You’ll get through this.”
I grabbed a platter of sandwiches and a bottle of water before sitting at the table. “I read that most people have a honeymoon phase from three months to two years. I never got one and I married two men, Sebastian. I don’t think that’s something to fix, but that I don’t have the value they thought.”
“That is not true,” Jaxon said from the doorway.
I shrugged yet again. “Trisha says it’s because I spoiled you guys. Maybe the first sign was when you forgot I agreed to let you pick my outfit.” I looked up at him. “When was the last time you asked to do that?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I stopped myself from shrugging that time, picking up a sandwich and staring at it before taking a bite. “Nothing to be sorry for if you don’t want to do it. It was probably childish anyways, right?”
I swallowed the rest of what I might have said, realizing my mouth was really getting away from me, and took another bite. I talked too much when I drank which was why I hadn’t been drinking.
At all.
That plan might have backfired.
I gave Sebastian a wave when he said goodnight. Jaxon came in and sat down with me, reaching for a sandwich as well.
“Is that why you stopped making sure I put my blood on your ring every day?” he asked quietly.
I swallowed my next bite loudly, taking a drink of water before nodding. “I felt stupid always having to make it a thing and interrupting you like the kid who wanted attention. Being at my side for you seemed to mean hot shower sex and handling stuff for the coven. I tried, but when you weren’t interested, I didn’t want to push and risk losing another husband.”
“You still love me though, right?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Do you love us like you did?” Darius asked from the doorway.
I thought about that as I finished my sandwich. I put on the cover and stuck it in the fridge again before grabbing my water. “Does it matter?”
“It does to me,” Jaxon said firmly.
“Me too,” Darius agreed.
“No, I don’t.” I shook my head when they went to say something. “There’s a line of men waiting and—”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it,” Darius cut in moving closer, but stopping just short of touching me. “Please, I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did,” I whispered as I pushed my hair over my shoulder, wishing I had a hair tie. “You all do, but you were just the one who said it.”
“What does that mean?” Jaxon demanded as he stood, his sandwich forgotten.
I frowned. “You all act like that. There’s someone else to push me off on for the part you don’t want or will do what you won’t. I mean,
