“Wilson and Wolfe say I’m fine as long as my partner does most of the heavy lifting and well, me,” I muttered as I moved my hand to his bicep.
“And they are experts?” he checked as we started moving, him leading.
Of course.
“Their mother was a professional ballroom dancer. They’re good and learned from her, but honestly, I think it wasn’t the dancing they were into, but the memories and getting to talk about her. They really loved her.”
“I really love you,” he said quietly as we moved. He cleared his throat when I didn’t say anything. “I’m having a hard time not being hurt at your lack of faith in me.”
“It’s not lack of faith,” I defended, shaking my head when he went to argue. “It’s not, Kristof. People change, their hearts and feelings change, otherwise you’d still hate all princesses. I have all the faith in the world in you. I love you, it’s just life I don’t have faith in. It won’t be constant or easy. It won’t be conducive to everything turning out perfectly.”
“That’s not unfair,” he agreed. “And I see that from your perspective, but from mine, it seems you doubt me.”
“I’m sorry it seems that way.” I thought about how else to say what I was feeling, but I couldn’t seem to find the words to make sense of what was in my head. It was so logical to me and what I was feeling, but I didn’t know how to make them understand. “Darius was my first anything and I met you three right after. It’s not a long time to have a lot of experience.”
“For?”
I bit back a sigh, not wanting to do this right now, but I could feel his need to understand before we took that last step. “There were things said about what would happen after the oath, not much, but some and none of it happened. Fine, I get we can’t really take a human honeymoon on an island somewhere like things used to be, but we could have taken a day.
“There could have been some compromise, but instead, there was none of it and things went off the rails. None of that was even said this time. Everything has been about getting to the oaths, locking me in forever, and that’s the goal.” I swallowed loudly as I stared at his chest instead of his eyes. “I’m just the prize, not a real wife, and that wasn’t what I felt. I’ve adjusted my expectations I guess.”
He cleared his throat and brushed his lips over my temple. “I am sorry for what I said about sleeping with you. It came out harsh and uncaring in my confusion.”
“You can’t help the way you feel,” I whispered, my heart still hurting from that.
“But that is not how I feel. I would lie with you all the nights you wished me.”
“Yeah, that’s what you do to win,” I muttered, letting go of his bicep and moving to pull away.
He wasn’t having any of that, holding me tighter and spinning us. “You are not a trophy or a medal. Yes, you are a prize as you are the best, but not in the way you are feeling. I have contributed to that, I understand that now, and I am sorry. I never meant it that way.” He kissed me when I didn’t answer. “I will show you that things will be better after you are completely mine. I will restore your faith.”
I didn’t want to argue but I also wasn’t sure I had any hope. Jaxon was right that I was spiraling again, and more than that, I was a bit numb to it all, closing myself off so I didn’t hurt anymore.
Because I hurt a lot of the time.
“You really are a hopeless dancer,” he teased me as he went to spin me and I leaned into him so he couldn’t.
“I am, thank you for that, but also, you forget how short my skirt is.”
He turned us and then dipped me, his hand sliding up my naked thigh and cupping my ass. “No, I didn’t. Everyone will see a lot more of you tomorrow and I love this dress, the short skirt, the teasing, and every inch of your body, My Princess.” He smiled when I shivered, pulling me back up. “And I love that you cannot dance without one of us. You will always need us, even if for something this silly.”
That was sort of cute and I bit back a smile as I leaned into him.
Cerdic went next and was just as good of a dancer as Kristof. He made a comment that it was nice to know I wasn’t perfect as there were times I made all of them feel lacking. It was kind of funny but also helped me not feel so stupid.
Other people were dancing by then and after another song, we sat to get our second dessert. There was also a note from Nick saying he spoke with Vitor, Nora, Matilda, and Hanna and got the new plan. It also had the list of everything being served tomorrow, making the terrace the main food spot for a relaxed, over-the-top cookout atmosphere, but with servers bringing it all around. Awesome.
After discussing it a bit more, I approved all of it and people jumped to it, needing to get their asses in gear to start with the boars that would need to cook overnight. It was a good thing old vampires didn’t need much sleep and we had lots of them to help.
James came over and I wondered if he was going to ask me to dance until I saw
