“Then he mustn’t know,” said Penelope sharply. “In fact, no one outside this room must know that you have lost your fae magic. It will only weaken your position to retake your throne.”
“I agree,” said Rafe. “But we must find out more information about this general Lilith mentioned. Who is he?”
“She implied he was the one calling the shots, not Morgana.”
“If that is so, then whoever he is, he is a master strategist,” said Penelope. “We didn’t know he existed until now. I must consult Izadora. She will know what to do.”
“Are you going to tell her what happened with Lilith?” I asked.
What would my grandmother do when she found out I didn’t have my fae magic anymore? Would she dismiss me as her heir? Would she still help me retake my throne?
“I must,” said Penelope. “Without you being able to contact Abraxas, Izadora is the only one who can tell us if there is any way to get your powers back.”
My eyes lit up. “You think that’s even possible?”
Penelope’s eyes narrowed. “I certainly hope so. Without the Dawnstar, our world doesn’t stand a chance.”
A Fall from Grace
Penelope went to speak to my grandmother through a mirror portal. I had been looking forward to learning how to use them, but now that option was gone. I had spent so much time being upset that I was different and had so much power to control. But now that it was gone, I would do anything to get it back.
“Get some rest,” said Rafe, his eyes briefly meeting mine. “I will speak with the rebels about this general and see what we can find out about him.”
I nodded, too weak to argue. What was the point? I was no use to anyone anymore. I was just another mage with inadequate training.
Tristan stood guard outside my door.
I hoped my grandmother would come up with a plan. She had warned me against coming to Eldoren, even though she had finally sent me here herself. Saving the children from Brandon’s dungeons was the catalyst to me coming here. But I saw now it was not the only reason, however much I may have tried to deny it.
The truth was that I wanted to see Rafe, and I wanted to be the one to help him, to show him what I could do. Somehow, I thought if he realized I could be an asset to him he would see me differently. Once more I had jeopardized everything because of my feelings. I saw now I couldn’t save everyone individually, however powerful I was. My purpose was bigger than myself. I was a symbol of hope for the people of Avalonia, a promise that things would be all right. Now I had given that up, and I had failed the world.
Penelope finally returned. “I have spoken with Izadora,” she announced, clasping her hands in front of her as soon as we were alone.
My eyes narrowed. “Did you tell her I lost my magic?”
Penelope shook her head and gave me a meaningful look. “I didn’t have to say anything; she already knew. When the Dagger took your magic, Izadora and some of the Elders felt it. The transfer of such formidable magic doesn’t go unnoticed by those who are powerful enough to sense it.”
“Did she know this would happen if I was cut with the Dagger?”
Penelope shook her head. “She was not sure. But she did hope it was not so.”
“So much for hope,” I said darkly.
Penelope cleared her throat. “The fact remains that you can still touch the Dagger without being pulled into it. The other fae cannot.” She lowered her voice, and I could feel her pulling a magical shield around us to prevent us from being overheard. “Your grandmother wants you to be the one to find the Dagger. And she doesn’t want the mages involved. The Dagger must not fall into the wrong hands again. Whoever possesses the Dagger of Dragath will have the power to wipe out the fae. You are the only one she trusts to have such power and not abuse it.”
“Rafe would never use the Dagger against the fae,” I said, automatically defending him. But now I wasn’t so sure I even knew him anymore.
“He may not, but the other mages cannot be trusted,” said Penelope. “Racial prejudices run deep in Avalonia. There was a time when all the kingdoms were at constant war with each other. It is only in the last hundred years we have had peaceful relations with our neighbors. An object as detrimental to the fae as the Dagger of Dragath can never be trusted with the mages.”
I nodded. She was right. We had to be careful.
“Did my grandmother say if there was any way to get my magic back?”
“She is working on it,” Penelope said. “Without the Fae Codex it will not be easy. I will contact her again once we have met with Rafe and the Eldorean Council.”
The days went by slowly as I curled up in a ball in my blue-and-gold canopied bed feeling extremely sorry for myself. We had still not heard back from my grandmother, and I still didn’t know if it was possible to get my fae magic back. Every minute that passed dragged me deeper into a well of despair and hopelessness. Now I would not be able to protect myself from Morgana or this general, whoever he was. I could not lead an army, not without my powers.
My arm was already getting better. Penelope was a gifted healer, but I had lost all confidence in my abilities, and I could not face the world. Penelope had told me to keep this a secret, but I was sure someone would see through the deception and expose me as the fraud I really was. What use was I to anyone? It was better to just lie here in my bed and let more capable people
