“Out.” He gave her a cold stare. “I’d like to watch as we pull into port.” He paused for a moment, his eyes reading her confusion. “The fresh air will do me good.”
“Why didn’t you run?”
Lana turned and gave Simon a confused look. “Run?”
He nodded slowly. “Like the others.” He sat up and propped himself on his good arm. “The other Quee ran as soon as they began to remember. Especially the women.”
Lana nodded knowingly. “And who could blame them?” She saw the look of hurt and surprise on his face then added, “You weren’t the only one who…used them at your pleasure.”
Simon’s face flushed and he looked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“But to answer your question,” she interrupted, “I really had nowhere else to go.” He turned and searched her eyes. “Besides, you claimed me.”
He watched as a smile began to take form and he felt a weight come off of his shoulders. “I didn’t mean to pry.” He looked away and searched for the right words. “I just…wondered.”
“It’s okay.” She reached out and brushed his hand. “If I’m honest, I did think about it. When the memories first started coming back, I remembered flashes of my home.”
“Yet you stayed.”
She nodded. “More memories followed and I remembered real quick that the place I thought was home truly wasn’t.” Her face hardened and she pushed the thoughts from her mind. “I decided to take my chances with you instead.”
Simon almost dreaded her next answer. “Do you regret it?”
She turned and gave him a surprised look. “For somebody who used to be so self-confident, you don’t seem so sure of yourself.”
It was his turn to give her a surprised look. “I don’t follow.”
“When you first became Alpha, it was clear, it was your way or be shot. Now…” She shook her head. “It’s like you’ve forgotten who you are.”
Simon inhaled deeply and sat up, his arm starting to throb again. “I told you, I’m not that person any longer.”
She grabbed him by his good arm and kept him from leaving. “Hey, I’m not saying I don’t like this new, softer, cuddlier version.” She leaned to the side to see his face better. “Just that it…takes a bit of getting used to.”
Simon nodded slightly and avoided her gaze. “If you prefer the old me, then I’m afraid we’re both wasting our time.” He pulled his hand back and stared at nothing, his mind remembering how hard he used to be. “I don’t know how I survived as long as I did like that. Pushing people to their breaking points. Being so…self-centered. All of the time.” He lowered his head. “I don’t know what happened to me, but that isn’t me anymore.”
She pulled him closer to her and wrapped an arm around his middle. “And I’m okay with that.”
“Are you?”
She nodded. “I’ve been around hard-asses my entire life. And although I think I know how to read them well enough to survive, I’m tired of just surviving.” She brushed her fingers along his cheek. “I like the idea of being with somebody who actually cares.”
He turned and gave her a weak smile. “Don’t misunderstand. I’ll kill anybody to keep you safe.”
She smiled again and nodded. “I know.”
He pulled her close to him and felt something new. He wasn’t sure what to call it, but he really liked it.
22
Roger gave Hatcher a broad smile. “I’m actually feeling a lot better.”
“That’s the codeine talking,” Candy added quickly.
“No, it’s that last unit of blood that Vic gave me.” He brushed the back of his hand against her jaw. “The codeine is just icing on the cake.”
Hatcher sat down quietly. “Mind if I pick your brain a bit?”
“There’s not much left to pick at, but you’re welcome to the crumbs.”
Candy scooted closer to Roger and gave Hatcher her attention as well. “I may be pregnant, but my mind still works as well.” She raised a brow at him. “If you’re open to a woman’s point of view.”
Hatcher chuckled as he tried to think of a good jumping off point. “We’ve run into more of the cured.” He nodded to Roger. “Remember the woman we met?”
“Like I could forget. We help her get home then she flips her shit.” He glanced at Candy. “She definitely had issues.”
“Right,” Hatcher cut in. “Well, we met another guy. Helped him get home, too. He was supposed to grab some clothes and come with us.”
“You were bringing him here?” Candy asked, a bit more panic in her voice than she would have preferred.
Hatcher nodded. “He knew that his wife was gone. We stopped by his son’s house and there was nobody there.” He cleared his throat. “Yet, anyway.”
“So?” Roger asked.
“The old man dressed up in his Sunday finest and blew his brains out.”
“Jeezus,” Roger groaned. “Sounds like he was just as ‘off his rocker’ as the old lady was.”
“That’s sort of why I wanted to pick your brain.” Hatcher sighed heavily and eyed him warily. “Do you have any idea what we might possibly do to make their transition a bit…easier?”
“Their transition?” Roger wiped a hand across his mouth. “You mean the Zulus?” Hatcher nodded slowly. “You want to help them reintegrate into society? That sort of thing?”
Hatcher nodded. “If what is left of mankind is going to get the cure only to kill themselves…” He trailed off. “Then there isn’t much sense in saving folks.”
Roger nodded slightly. “I see your point.” He pushed himself up farther in his bed and grunted at the pain in his shoulder. “Look. I’m probably not the best person to ask about this. I still see gray skin, red eyes and bald heads as the enemy.”
“Are they all suicidal, Hatch?” Candy asked.
Hatcher shrugged. “I’ve only met the few. The old lady was…angry. I could see her doing something really stupid.”
Candy slowly came to her feet. “I understand the ‘why’ and I empathize with them. If they remember even fractions of what they did while infected, that’s a lot of guilt
