Ethan stumbled the rest of the way into the kitchen and groaned. “It’s too early for this,” he told me, grabbing a box of cereal and pouring himself a bowl.
“Too early for your crazy ex?” I leaned into the counter as he poured milk.
“Let me take a bite of cereal first,” he said. He walked slowly around the counter and stared at his cereal, as if mentally preparing himself for what would happen after he took a bite. I waited patiently as he brought the spoon to his mouth and chewed slowly. For the first time, I noticed that he’d come downstairs without a shirt, and I purposely avoided looking at his scars. I thought they were sexy, but my attention would give him other ideas.
“Ready?” I asked.
“No.”
I snickered. “That’s unfortunate. She cornered Sylvia and I last night. She’s under the impression that you two are on a break.”
He sighed and shoveled another bite into his mouth. “That sounds like her bullshit.”
“She said that she had a claim on you, and I didn’t.”
He finally looked awake. “I told her that if she left me, we were done. I couldn’t have been clearer.”
“And you just let her get away with how she treated you? The things she said to me were disgusting. She acted like you were a piece of meat or something,” I said. My stomach turned over at the reminder.
Ethan looked at his bowl and shook his head. “She was all about appearances. I’m not perfect after that fire, and she knows that. I don’t know why she thinks she still has a claim on me, because I haven’t talked to her for years.”
I pursed my lips. “Okay, fine. I understand that. But why wouldn’t you go and show her what she’s missing? Flaunt your shit and show her that she’s not good enough for the likes of you.”
Was I acting petty? Probably. Was I angry that she had the audacity to treat me like I was nobody and expect me to back off? Absolutely. But Ethan, bless his heart, looked utterly confused by my proposition. “Why would I flaunt myself around her? I don’t want anything to do with her.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t want you anywhere near her either. She’s not a good person, and she’s an even worse influence.” I didn’t know how to approach what I wanted.
“Well,” he started, putting down his spoon. “I’m sorry. I’m confused as to what you’re asking of me.”
I sighed. “You don’t want to be around her? You don’t want her anywhere near you?” I asked.
He crossed his arms in front of him and pushed his cereal to the side. I continued to confuse him. “Are you jealous? Do you need to hear me talk about what she did, and why I will never consider her for me again?” I opened my mouth to protest, but he continued. “She didn’t just leave me. She told me that if I could get back to normal, she’d come back. She compared me to a monster from a horror movie. She was considerate the day after the fire, but when she saw the burns, she told me that I’d have been better off dying than living in a body so ruined.”
I didn’t know what to say. “She said all of those things?”
His eyes were hard, as if he had moved past the point of anger and sadness, and onto disgust. He knew that what she said was horrible, but I imagined some of the words still stuck to his subconscious perception of himself. “Those were some of the milder things she said. I will never be with her again. I can’t believe I didn’t see how superficial she was before the fire,” he said.
“Women can act one way and be completely different,” I told him.
“I guess something good came out of these burns,” he said.
“A lot of good came out of them,” I told him, and he raised his brows. “You saved Derrick, so that’s one hell of a good thing. You also got rid of the people in your life who don’t deserve to be there. Now you don’t have to put up with an entire life of Taylor’s bullshit.”
I wanted to offer that he could have a life with me instead, but I refrained from saying it. “I wish they weren’t so horrible in every other way,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
He snickered. “If you’d seen the way people have looked at them, you’d understand. They make people sick. I can’t even take off a shirt in front of my future children without them asking why I am the way I am.”
I walked over to him and pushed his chair, so he faced me rather than the counter. I put my hands on both sides of his face. “That fear is what you need to get over. If people stare at you like you’re gross, that says something about them as people, not about you. I mean, gosh, look at you.” I looked down his body and my heart accelerated. “You are literally stunning, and frankly the burn scars make you sexier.”
He loosened and rested his forehead against mine, uncrossing his arms and bringing me between his legs. I leaned down to keep close to him. “I wish it was that easy,” he said.
“I know it will take time, but I really think that the auction is something you should do. It will help you see that everyone won’t look at you like you think.”
His expression tightened and he pulled away slightly. “That’s what this is about again? I told you that I won’t do it—not with the scars.”
I pulled myself further away. “If you never do anything to work on accepting yourself, you’ll never accept yourself. You can’t keep doing things that are in your comfort zone
