Hannah’s brows didn’t smooth out. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before coming up with something to say. “Couldn’t you find a job with a surf company? Or start a surf shop? Or something?”
He chuckled, though there was no humor in the sound. “Yeah. I tried getting a job at a surf company, but they’re not easy to come by, especially coming in from out of state. Surf shops don’t pay that well, in general. And starting a new business is … well …” He looked away from her again, his eyes on the ceiling as he searched for words, his chest squeezing at the familiar reminder that everyone else got to pursue what they wanted, but not him. “Let’s just say that my parents are concerned with stability, a steady income, a good job with good benefits. That was always their dream for me. Surf shops don’t make much money in general, and small businesses are risky. I don’t have the capital, and they wouldn’t give me money to start a business. I mean, I love my parents, but that’s just not who they are. If I told them I wanted to do that, they’d do everything in their power to talk me out of it, my mom gently, my dad not so much.” That was an understatement. His dad would berate him and scream at him at every opportunity until he changed his mind.
“So you’ve just always done what your parents expect? You didn’t ever tell them about wanting to surf? There have to be ways to make it work. It’s a sport, an industry. People have to make money doing something surfing related other than going pro.”
He shrugged one shoulder, trying not to get sucked into envisioning how well a conversation like that would go. It made him sick even thinking about thinking about it. He swallowed hard, pushing the ghost of a thought away. “Yeah, well, you remember my dad. Going against his ideas of what’s best was never easy. If it were up to him, I’d have given up surfing altogether a long time ago. Or better yet, never started. The only reason he tolerated it at all was because teaching surfing got me a decent summer job, though that didn’t stop him from trying to get me to work on a boat instead. I’ve had enough conflict with that man to last a lifetime. I’m no good at conflict anyway.”
That brought a disbelieving laugh from Hannah. “Um, were we in the same student center earlier? No good at conflict?”
He waved a hand dismissively. “That wasn’t conflict. Not really. I’m not likely to ever see that guy again. I don’t care about him or his feelings. He’s just some asshole. I’d happily punch him in the gut and leave him puking all over himself on the floor.”
Hannah nodded, something like understanding dawning in her eyes. “I see. So you’re okay with that kind of conflict, but not with people you care about or where real emotions are involved. Good to know.”
“Yeah. Something like that.” He shifted, uncomfortable with this conversation, not liking the sick feeling in his gut as he brought up his father’s repeated disappointment in him. Visiting home was less painful now that he had a good job and a steady paycheck and he’d “gotten over that surfing nonsense” according to his dad. “Can we talk about something else now?” he pleaded.
Hannah gave him a quick kiss before settling against his chest once more. But Matt remained unsettled from their conversation, confused about how it got turned around on him. He just wanted Hannah to make herself and her feelings a priority. It wasn’t supposed to be about him wanting to surf. And even though he’d considered what she suggested, he could never figure out a way to make it work, so he tried not to think about it. Even if some part of him desperately wished he could.
Chapter Seventeen
Hannah wrapped the robe around her while Daniel pulled his track pants back on and Megan put the finishing touches on their painting. She’d said they could go, that she didn’t need them to pose while she finished.
Hannah hoped this would be the last session. After Matt’s reaction last weekend, she’d felt more conflicted this time with Daniel’s arm wrapped around her. Daniel was a gentleman, at least as much as possible while they posed practically naked, and he didn’t do anything that made her feel uncomfortable. He was friendly, but more reserved than last week. Apparently now that he knew she was taken too, that put a damper on things. They were all quieter than last week. Megan had music playing, and Hannah had let her mind drift, playing through the events of the last week since she’d been here.
She’d spent the rest of Sunday afternoon with Matt, then Chris and Megan came home and they all had dinner together. After that she insisted Matt take her back to her car so she could go home and finish her homework for the next day, even though it had been hard to stay firm in the face of him trying to convince her to stay. At work she’d taken her cue from him, keeping things professional, though he sent her flirty texts during the day and he’d brush up against her in decidedly unprofessional ways when no one was looking. The slightly forbidden aspect of their relationship sent a little thrill through her, making things even hotter when they got together after work. If he weren’t so openly affectionate around his house and away from work, she might feel like his dirty little secret.
But she figured that would only last for a little while. Once her internship ended in late April, they wouldn’t have to worry about
