Without a word she opened the door wide and gestured him in, closing and locking it behind him. When she turned around, he reached out and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair, kissing the top of her head. He didn’t know how this conversation would turn out, and he needed to hold her for a moment to gather his courage.
She held herself stiffly at first, but relaxed into him, seeming to take as much comfort from the touch as he did. He wished he knew what was going through her head. It was clear she’d had a rough night after what had happened, and he wished she’d have stayed with him. If nothing else, they could’ve given each other comfort. But she’d asked for space, and he wanted to respect her wishes. Pushing too hard would definitely make her withdraw. He sucked in a breath, hoping that she wouldn’t do that after what he had to tell her, or that, if she did, she’d come around quickly.
Pushing back, she moved away from him. It looked like she wiped her cheeks with her hands, but she did it with her back turned, so he couldn’t be sure. She settled in the corner of the couch, her knees drawn up, her eyes wide in her pale face, her normally pink lips only a few shades darker than her skin. Dark circles the color of bruises smudged the skin under her eyes, and she wore a rumpled, baggy T-shirt over a pair of gray leggings. “So? What happened? What did Janine say?”
He sat on the coffee table in front of her, wanting to be close, but, with the way she’d curled into herself, he didn’t think she’d let him hold her if he sat next to her on the couch. “She ripped me a new one this morning, especially since she’d warned me to stay away from you already.”
“What? When?”
He lifted a shoulder. “That day when we were supposed to meet at the restaurant and a ton of people from work showed up. She told me to think with my big head not my little head.” A ghost of a smile crossed her lips and was gone as soon as it registered. “Yeah. Janine doesn’t hold back. Anyway, after telling me what a stupid ass I am, she gave me an official reprimand, put me on probation, and took over managing the interns for the rest of the semester.”
“Oh, Matt, I’m so sorry. What does that mean for you?”
“It means I’ll be doing boring grunt work for a while. And Janine will be up my ass about everything, making sure I do it all exactly right. She likes me, which is fortunate, or she’d probably have fired me. She says that if I don’t screw up or do anything like this again, she’ll remove the official reprimand in a year.”
“You’re on probation for a year?”
He shook his head. “No, not really. Just through May. But she’ll be watching me closely even after that, after I get my usual job duties back, making sure I’m still doing everything by the book.”
“Okay. Why do I feel like there’s more, though? Did she say anything about me?”
“Well …” He took a deep breath. This was the hard part. “The good news is that since I’m no longer managing the interns, we can still date. You’re not in trouble at all. According to Janine, this is all on me. I’m the full-time employee, and I work in HR so I know all the details of why we shouldn’t have gotten together while you were interning at Eco Utilities. You’re fine. But—” He paused, struggling with how to tell her the next part.
“But …? So far that all sounds good. Unless I’m missing something?”
He shook his head. “No, that part is good. But, Janine did tell me they’re planning on offering you a summer internship. And I’ll be off probation and back to my usual role by then, which means I’ll be managing the interns this summer. That’s why they hired me. There’s not another place for me long-term at the company if I can’t do my job.”
“So … what? You’re asking me not to take the summer internship?”
He reached out and took her hand in both of his, pressing against her cold, limp fingers. “I know it’s a lot to ask.” He swallowed and licked his lips, his guts churning and his mouth dry. “And it’s not fair to ask you to choose between me and something that could help your career. But there’s still time for you to apply to another internship, and I know Sandra would give you a glowing recommendation. She’s the main reason they’re going to offer you the summer internship there. But if you take it, we’ll have to break up.”
“What?” She jerked her hand out of his grasp, red patches coming to her cheeks, her eyes blazing now. He was glad to see some emotion in her face, but this was not what he’d been hoping for. “This is the best internship out there!” She pointed her finger at his face. “And you of all people should know that. You interned there. So much that they offered you a full time job upon graduation. And you weren’t even an intern there last semester. They waited for you, created a position for you. And you don’t even care that much about them or what they do.” She stood, gesturing wildly with her arms. “I do care. I love what the company stands for and what I’m doing there. This kind of thing is what I’ve wanted to do. The only thing better would be working for a nonprofit dedicated to saving the environment. Since everyone knows those kinds of places pay crap, my plan has always been to get a good job and volunteer for the Sierra Club or something. But at
