Is that why she wanted me here? So I can watch her sign them? Or so she can give me a countersigned copy? That’s what all this was about? That’s why she ambushed me on stage? To give me the fucking divorce papers?
My jaw works and my fists clench as I try not to explode from rage.
Then she grasps the papers between the fingers of both hands and rips them in half. And tosses the torn papers in the air like confetti.
I blink, my mouth hanging open. All I can get out is a strangled croak.
“I don’t want a divorce,” she says, tears filming her eyes. “I never wanted a divorce. Bad Wolf stipulated that as part of their contract and Delores had the papers drafted without even consulting me. She gave them to me in a closed envelope so that I couldn’t refuse them. I was trying to decide whether to even bother countering their offer, since Spellbound was offering a better contract in terms of number of albums, increased creative control, and most importantly they don’t have any desire to control my personal life. I’m so used to working through things on my own that it didn’t even occur to me to talk to you about it.”
She pauses and swallows. “Delores was pressuring me to take the deal offering the most money. But I’m not willing to lose you. And I’m not willing to work with someone who thinks that they get to decide who I love.”
“I … what?” I feel like I’m supposed to say something, but I’m still playing catch up.
She steps closer, her hands lifting like she wants to reach for me, but she drops them before touching me. “I miss you, Colt,” she says, blinking hard as two tears track down her cheeks. “You wouldn’t return my calls, and then you turned off your phone, and I even went to your parents’ house to try to find you since that’s where you were staying before you moved in with me. And your mom said you were better off without me and Mia said I just use people to get ahead, and I …” She trails off, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer when you eventually tried calling me back. I was deep into writing that song for tonight, and I wasn’t taking anyone’s calls. I put my phone in a drawer and didn’t look at it for days. I only pulled it out to call Tom about the show when my mom mentioned I’d been taken off the billing, and I didn’t check any messages. When I got it out this morning and saw all your missed calls, well …” She shrugs and gives me a pleading look. “I thought about calling you back. I really did. But I decided surprising you would make a stronger statement. Because … well, I didn’t think you’d believe me if I tried to convince you I didn’t want a divorce. That you’d argue you were trying to help me by signing the papers and leaving, that I’d be better off without you.”
This time she does reach for me, taking my limp hands in hers. “But it’s not true, Colt. I’m better off with you. Everything good that’s happened lately has been when we’re together. And I’m not willing to give that up. Not for any amount of money.”
Chapter Forty
Alexis
I clutch Colt’s fingers in my cold, trembling hands, holding my breath as I wait for him to respond. To say something or give some kind of reaction. Anything but the blank, blinking, guppy face I’m getting.
Finally his fingers tighten on mine. “What?” he repeats, sounding as dumbfounded as he looks. He blinks rapidly a few times, gives his head a rough shake, and sucks in a ragged breath. “I’m sorry, this is a lot for me to process. I thought … you’d been acting off since your last meeting with Delores, and then I found the papers. I thought you’d dropped them accidentally, and I wanted to see if they were something important that you needed to deal with. It seemed like the most likely explanation for what had been going on. You needed a divorce, but we’d already gotten so tangled up just like you always said you didn’t want, and you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
His grip on my hands becomes almost painful. “But I don’t want to stand in your way. I don’t want to be the thing holding you back and keeping you down. Even if you said you wouldn’t take that contract because of me, someday you’ll resent me for it. I love you, too, Alexis. But we can’t keep kidding ourselves that you don’t deserve more than me.”
It’s my turn to look confused. “What are you talking about? Didn’t you hear what I just said? I don’t want to work with a company that tries to control every aspect of my life. They don’t get to tell me who to date or who to love. And you don’t either, for that matter. I get to decide that. Only me. And I pick you. You have helped me to boil down what’s most important to me. And music, relationships, and this”—I fling a hand toward the door, indicating the stage, the crowd, the performance—“this is what matters most. I’m going to take the other contract. And I’m going to live up to my end of our bargain. I’ll keep writing songs for you. I’ll help you pick songs from other writers if you want—and by the way, that new song you debuted tonight was killer. Where’d you get that from?” I wave that question away. “Tell me later. That’s not the point right now. The point is that I know what I want. I’ve already informed Delores. And I have every intention of continuing to perform with you and my label is on board. They love
