“Did you have all the information?” Stefanie paused her stirring.
Joey shook his head. “No. Just a piece.”
“And even if you did, you know it’s not rational to expect yourself to protect everyone from everything, right?”
Joey fidgeted with the dish towel. “It’s that obvious?”
Stefanie shook her head. “It isn’t. I guess it just takes one to know one. Our brand of perfectionism is driven by fear of failure, a constant worry that we might let ourselves or someone else down. It’s not a huge leap for me to imagine how you would feel. And because I know that, it’s easy for me to say – it’s not your fault.”
Joey swallowed. “I know. But sometimes when I find myself really feeling good, it hits me. Quinn assures me Rory would want me to be happy. I know that’s true, but living it is something else entirely.”
“Well, maybe it’s like anything. You should practice being happy.” Stefanie stood back as he laid the noodles in the pan.
He looked up. “But what if the person I’m happy with can’t handle the complexity? The happy and the sad mixed together.”
Stefanie looked him in the eyes. “A person that simple is not the right person for you. The person you’re happy with should be able to handle complexity. But first, you should finish making her some lasagna. She’s starving and it smells delicious.”
Joey barely resisted the temptation to pull her in for a kiss and instead followed orders. He stared at her just a beat too long. “Yes, ma’am.”
Once he’d put the dish in the oven, he turned to face Stefanie. He wrapped an arm around her waist and she gave him a mischievous look. While a lot of things in his life were confusing, the next thing he needed to do was crystal clear. He leaned in and she met him halfway. Kissing her felt as natural as breathing and for a moment, he lost all track of time.
Eventually and too soon, Joey pulled back. “You really like lasagna, huh? How many days a week can I make it for you?”
“I mean, I do like lasagna.” Stefanie laughed. “But I think we both know you don’t have to make me lasagna for more of that.”
She pulled him close and he grinned, then held her a little tighter. “You’re a handful. I think I like it.”
She leaned so their noses were touching. “You’re an incredibly kind person. And tough. And for what it’s worth, I like your complexity.”
He breathed her in. “And when I leave?”
“Please. If we can handle an international espionage ring, we’ll figure it out. Okay?”
He let her go like a hot potato and hurt flashed across her face. “I’m so sorry. You’re in the middle of a dangerous situation. I know better and am getting involved anyway. That’s what got me into trouble last time.” He took a deep breath and composed himself. “Let’s go spar until the lasagna is done.”
Stefanie slowly placed her barely-touched wine glass to the side and went to the hall closet to dig out her protective equipment. She flashed Joey a smile and tossed him a spare set. He needed the stress relief as much as she did. And she’d seen the fear flash across his face. Not fear of the situation, but fear of being responsible for her getting hurt. While she was disappointed in the moment, she wasn’t offended – she meant it when she said she could handle his complexity. “I’ve had a few sips of wine,” she said, putting on the headgear. “My reflexes are going to be slow.”
Joey winked. “Already making excuses?”
Stefanie grinned and pulled on her hand pads. She led him to a small office that doubled as an exercise room. They had just enough room to work out if they moved the desk around. Joey grabbed one end and they placed it against the wall. Energy and preparation rose along her back, drowning out the stress and worry that came with the investigation and whatever was going on between them, if only for a minute or two. Once they were both ready, she made the first move, jabbing at Joey. He turned, returning a jab of his own. She bounced on the balls of her feet and ducked a light kick from him, using the opportunity to give him a little tap on the stomach with her foot.
Joey gave her a high five. “That’s a point. Nice work.”
She put a hand on her hip. “Are you taking it easy on me?”
Joey shook his head. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Good. I want to win fair and square.” She ducked, turning on her best skills, focusing like she would if she were in a tournament. Dodged punches and kicks were as satisfying as the ones that landed. Joey, for his part, seemed as relieved as she to relax into a sparring match. They exchanged points until they both lost track of the score.
Finally, a buzzer sounded from the kitchen and Joey pulled the soft helmet off his head. His skin was shiny and hers was more than a little damp as well. “I better get that. You’re a worthy opponent, Stefanie Ryland.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Are you serious or are you hitting on me again?”
“Both.” Joey winked and kissed her on the cheek. “Now, I’m going to impress you with Nonna’s lasagna.”
Soon, they were sitting around her small table, both with large glasses of water. After Stefanie had gone back for seconds, she leaned back in her chair. “Okay. I get it now. This is some kind of sneaky CIA trick. Wear me out by sparring with me, and then stuff me so full of delicious homemade food that I can’t bear to move, much less freak out. I’m assuming the kissing isn’t in the manual, but what do I know?”
Joey swirled his wine in his glass, his neck getting just a little red. “You got me. This is page one in the CIA operations officer field manual. High
