“I still have most of the set, though one of the mugs got broken. Home is never home without my stoneware tea set.”
“The extra trip was worthwhile.” Jake glanced at me as he set two of the matching mugs on the counter. “Hope you’re happy with chai.”
I nodded, keeping my eyes averted as he delivered a cup to me.
“I added honey, just the way you like it,” he said, sitting only inches away on the sofa.
This familiarity messed with my mind, making me want more from him than I could ever expect in reality.
“Look at me. Please?”
I set my tea on the coffee table and tried to tuck one leg beneath me, grimacing at the stab of pain.
“Stubborn woman.” He repositioned me, lifting my sore ankle and placing it on his thigh, beginning a massage.
Mesmerized, I watched as he circled his thumbs, scrunching my nose as he dug into the flesh on the ball of my foot. Pain. Exquisite, feel good, pain. I focussed on my pink-polished toes.
“I’m sorry for what happened after the wedding.” He rubbed the top of my foot before continuing the torture of my sole. “It was difficult to explain. You didn’t seem to want to hear it, anyway.”
My mouth grew dry. I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight before I opened them and inspected his left hand with its faint, pale outline on that certain finger. I cleared my throat. “Explain what?”
“Why I almost left without saying goodbye.”
This should be good. “Bygones.” I fluttered my fingers and tried to pull my foot from his firm, yet gentle, hold.
“What woman wants to deal with a guy who turns into a panicky mess in the middle of the night?”
“Jake.” I looked up straight into his eyes.
He caught my hand and nodded, staring at our entwined fingers. “When you wear something long enough, it becomes habit. You forget it’s there. Sometimes it’s to avoid the judgements, accusations, and assumptions that you haven’t grieved long enough, or you’ve forgotten. Death is nothing like divorce where removing the ring is expected.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s inexcusable. That weekend, I used it as a defence to back women off and give me space. Answering questions and dealing with the pity is exhausting.”
“It worked.”
“On the wrong woman. It gave you the wrong idea. If I had any doubts about how stupid it was, Dara cured me of them.”
“She talked to you?”
“After you left, she caught me marinating myself in whiskey at the hotel bar. Boy, did she rip into me, but everything she said was the absolute truth. Guess her sympathy wore out.”
“She’s a tattler.”
“You talked to Dara?” He lifted a brow. “After you lectured me for telling Dean?”
“Don’t shift the blame. You spilled your guts to Dean first, and now everyone knows.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have said anything, but Dean and I had breakfast before the wedding, and he dragged it out of me. Then he played matchmaker, but by the time they pulled our names, I was half-cut and not thinking clearly. All I could think about during that kiss was how we christened the dining room table in our apartment.”
I closed my eyes, picturing Jake sweeping everything to the floor and pinning me on that pine table. The first twenty-four hours after I’d moved in had been unforgettable. “You said the kiss was no biggie.”
“Yeah, to get Luci off our case. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel that kiss, ‘cause for sure I enjoyed your delectably sweet tongue in my mouth. And later, ripping those hot lacy panties off your fine ass with my teeth. Those slinky little scraps of lace are exactly the type to get me riled. You know that.”
My entire body tingled just thinking about Jake’s hard body against mine. I tugged at the cuffs of his shirt, trying not to inhale the remnants of aftershave too deeply or think too hard about why I’d worn that particular lacy thong and matching bra.
“Tell me you didn’t enjoy our evening, and I’ll walk out that door right now.”
Fighting a smile, I said, “I hated every second.”
Jake chuckled. “Stay, it is. With you, the sex is always amazing.”
“Is that why you’re here? For more fantastic sex?”
“Well, at least we’ve established that we agree about something.” He winked.
“Stop,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Shameless flirt.”
“Ahhh, fine. You deserved more than a phone conversation after a horrendous ending to a weekend that had great potential. When Luci mentioned you’d invited her to a club but didn’t plan to go, I paid attention to the details. Besides, calling meant you’d tell me to fuck off before we had a proper talk.”
“So it was okay to ambush me at a club?” Oh crap. Those eyes. Stop, stop, stop looking at me like that, Jakob. I cleared my throat and pressed my lips together, looking away.
“It wasn’t meant like that.” He cupped my cheek, forcing me to look at him. “I screwed everything up, you’re pissed, and you’ll never forgive me for not realizing how it made you feel. Wearing my ring while we were together, so intimate like that … I’m sorry. That was thoughtless and wrong in every imaginable way. The ring’s off, forever.”
“Where does that leave us?” Maybe I’d needed to be with him too; the comfort and familiarity of Jake had gone a long way in soothing my pain yet had torn open old wounds. “Was it just a bit of weekend fun?”
“You’re way off base.” He tipped my chin up with a fingertip. “I’ve missed you, but how can I drag you into my impossibly complicated, fucked-up life?”
“You haven’t. Apology accepted. No need for more than that.” Please go before I do something I regret.
“Have you ever wondered … fuck, this is insanity, but those what ifs …” Jake leaned close, the essence of shampoo and fresh rain combining as he kissed my cheek. “This is so wrong,” he whispered, seconds before he
