Damn, those eyes again. This man sounded so reasonable and lovable and vulnerable, digging deeper and deeper into my heart. “It was a strange situation, and we ended up in such an intimate position. But that damn ring …”
“Okay, okay.” He raised his hands. “I plead no contest.”
A surrender of sorts. Maybe a signal that we’d ground this topic down to its roots and nothing further could be gained.
“Can we call this subject closed?” Jake asked. “You freaked, I acted like an embarrassed emotional mess, yada, yada, done. Okay? It still leaves us in the same place.” He stared at me. “Do you regret leaving Kyle? Do you love him?”
I clamped my teeth onto my lower lip, blinking hard. “No.” I curled into myself.
Jake sighed and then rose, only to slide into the booth beside me. He tucked an arm around me. “Divorce isn’t easy, I get that, but if it’s over, then finish it. If you aren’t ready for that, then you aren’t ready to start something new.”
Unlike the day of the wedding, now I could lean into Jake and enjoy the security of his arms. I wanted more of that. I needed it. Longed for it.
“I spent a lot of time examining how ready I was,” he said, “but I didn’t consider that maybe you’re not there yet. Maybe we should take a step back.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Do you?” He kissed my temple as I rested against his shoulder. “Ah, my beautiful love, you are stubborn, and infuriating, and confrontational, and exhausting, but you’re also strong, and independent, and incredibly sexy. A life with you will never be boring or routine. You’re a challenge, a convoluted puzzle, which I love, even if it means working ten times as hard to keep this together.”
“That’s probably true, but it’s worth it. I do want a divorce, but signing those papers means another failed relationship. It means admitting Mama was right about Kyle.”
“What happened, anyway?”
I sighed, but I owed him at least a basic explanation. “In the beginning, we had fun, travelled, and spent all our time together. After the first year, it all changed. Kyle worked longer hours and hung out with the guys more often. Maybe he had an affair, but I never found any proof, so who knows? Anyway, I thought I could handle anything besides cheating, but it turned out I couldn’t.”
“Handle what, exactly?”
“The eerie silence and depressing daily dance where I was an afterthought, the sure thing, waiting for him to come home at whatever awful hour. I never figured out what I’d done to deserve his neglect, and he never explained why he stopped talking. Well, at least about anything real. So, I packed my wine collection and bought my condo.”
“You made the right choice.” He squeezed me tighter. “Endings are sad, but cut the cord.”
“Maybe me not signing the papers isn’t so different than you with your ring, me keeping everything and everyone at bay while I figured out how I ended up where I did.”
“Maybe.”
As I cuddled against Jake, the reality of the past five years faded. This felt right, our silence comforting and connected, so unlike the empty, oppressive silences with Kyle. My marriage often felt lonely, my husband growing more distant each day until he could no longer see me. Now I’d travelled full circle, perhaps ending up exactly where I needed to be. “Luci will never shut up about this. She’s insistent we’re meant to be.”
“Yeah, about that. Maybe don’t tell her.”
“Meaning?”
“You said it yourself. My little sister will be all over us, wanting details and pushing her agenda. It’s not a healthy way to have a relationship. Same with Tía. You two were close when we dated, and I’d hate to raise her expectations.”
“Ah. So, we’re a secret.”
“Please don’t.” He tipped up my chin. “Those wheels are spinning, making my request into something it’s not. Don’t get stuck in your head. We’ve barely sorted ourselves and decided to give our relationship another go. Added pressure is the exact opposite of what we need.”
“Dean and Dara?”
“More pressure and expectations. Can I just say “wedding reception” and leave it there?”
“They did go slightly crazy.” What else could I do but agree when the man laid it out like that? Ease into it. What was the harm in that? “For now, it’s between you and me.”
Chapter 9
I stepped out of the afternoon downpour into the shiny lobby, shaking my umbrella over the mats before crossing the floor and sliding it into the handy holder beside the front desk.
“Ms. Grant.” The building’s security guard’s bushy brows waggled. “Haven’t seen you in ages. Here to see Mr. Weston?”
“Yes, thanks, Billy. How are your girls?”
“Amazing. Tasha is …”
I smiled and nodded, struggling to follow the flow of words, but his voice faded into the background, Billy becoming a disjointed figure, his mouth moving soundlessly as he picked up the phone. I clutched my leather satchel, shivering as the dampness from the trip across the water pervaded my entire being.
“Ms. Grant?” Billy held out a security pass and motioned toward the bank of elevators. “Mr. Weston will see you.”
“Oh. Thanks, Billy.” I squeezed his wrist before taking the pass. “Say hi to Maggie for me and give your girls a hug.”
“I will. Nice to see you again.”
I nodded and squelched across the tile to the bank of elevators against the east wall. It was like entering that darn wedding all over again, except this time I couldn’t even cling to that fantastically expensive and excitingly sexy dress. Nope. This afternoon I sported the drowned rat look, thanks to Vancouver’s innate ability to produce limitless rainy days. Sometimes it was a soft sprinkle. Some days it was a light and steady soaker.
Today it was simply torrential. A lot like my marriage, really. Relentless. Pain driving at me from above, the side, the front, and the back, drenching me from the ground up with ricochets, pooling, running in rivers, soaking me within minutes of leaving cover,
