“You know that’s not true.” I swatted her arm. “I’ve known him since university. Even at his angriest—and believe me, we had some ragers—he never laid a hand on me. Jake’s not that kind of guy.”
“Maybe not, but enormous revelations lurk behind his secretive behaviour. You’re charging full speed ahead without considering how bad it could be. Coupled with the fact he’s avoiding the intros with his daughter …”
“He’s amazing.” I crossed my arms. “Good looking. Successful. Educated. Sweet. The guy actually wants to be with me, yet you say run?”
Beth nodded. “Yeah, Amara, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Something isn’t right.”
“I like him.”
“It’s far worse than like.” She stared at me. “You’re a goner, taking the hard and fast plummet onto the rocks of l-o-v-e. Just like the last go-around with this guy, you’ll need intensive care when he packs up and leaves town.”
With this attitude, who knew what my friend would say if we factored the “don’t tell Luciana” ultimatum into the equation, or the fact that his daughter held a priority position in his life? Right now, I might turn her opinion around, but that chance would evaporate the moment Beth learned that Jake had vowed me to silence about our relationship outside of our circle of four.
“What?” She eyed me. “There’s something else, right?”
“Nope.” Lifting my chin, I straightened. “I’m not breaking up with him. Don’t hang around us if it bothers you so much.”
“You’re too stubborn.” Her shoulders slumped. “From that look on your face, you’re determined to continue this, so that’s all I’ll say. Just promise you’ll be careful. Please?”
I nodded and hugged her quickly. “We’d better get back out there before they send a search party.”
My keys clanked onto the tray inside the front door, and I hung my coat, smiling when Jake wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing his face against my hair.
“This sucks.” His embrace tightened. “It gets harder every time I leave.”
I nodded slowly. The nights without him in my bed and the days without him in my life seemed intolerably long and lonely.
“Is everything okay with Beth?” he asked.
“Sure.” Any hope I had of Jake not mentioning my friend’s disapproving silence vanished.
“Hmmm.” He turned me, tipping up my chin with his fingertip. “Your friend doesn’t like me. What did she say about Sarina? She clearly didn’t know about my daughter.”
My wrinkled nose made him sigh.
“That good, huh.” He caught my hands in his and squeezed. “If Sarina’s an issue, we should get it out there.”
“She’s not.”
His brows lifted and he tilted his head, staring at me.
“It’s not that Beth doesn’t like you, and she loves kids. She’s a teacher.”
“She’s clearly not a fan of the dead wife/toddler combination.”
“Beth’s worried I’m jumping in too soon, considering our history and my fresh divorce.”
“Yeah, well, Beth should save her breath. I only care what you think. Is it too much to date a guy with a toddler?”
“It bothers me that I haven’t met the toddler. Why don’t you bring her on your next visit? We’ll set up a crib in my guest bedroom. Or I could come to Halifax for a few days.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Which part?” I pulled free and headed into the kitchen, stopping to fill the kettle.
Jake rested his hands on the edge of the island, shoulders hunching.
“Ah, I get it.” I blinked hard as I shuffled around the kitchen, keeping my head down as I selected a canister. “I’m making chai.”
“Mar.” Jake rounded the counter and caught me around the waist, pulling me close. “Please understand. Travelling back and forth would be too stressful for a toddler.”
“Don’t you wish you could see your daughter more often? Isn’t it difficult to be away?”
“Hell, yes, but this is my job. You want the low-down on my shitty life? After my wife overdosed, I uprooted my daughter and moved into a tiny house a quarter of the size of my other one. I can’t afford to fly Sari back and forth or pay the added expenses for childcare in Vancouver. Working on the other side of the country while balancing the needs of a baby bites. I miss my daughter every single damn day, but this contract was too good to pass up. Next pay day I might even put a dent in that towering pile of bills.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea.” I placed my palm against his chest. “I get it. I do, but …”
“But what?” He held me in place, keeping my hand against his chest. “I want this to work, but can we take it slow?”
If only slow could work, but our relationship was cranked to all-ahead-full. Jake spent more and more time here whenever he was in town, and when he was back home, we talked. Daily. Sometimes more than daily. Yet still, he held back important details.
“What happened with Alysa?” I asked softly.
Jake closed his eyes and shook his head. “Can we talk about it later? It’s not a three-second conversation.”
“Maybe not, but whenever I bring it up, you change the subject.”
“Do I?”
“Don’t pretend, Jakob. I shared with you about Kyle, now it’s your turn.”
“I’ll be back in a few days. We’ll talk about it then, okay?” He kissed my nose. “Sorry, I should head to the airport. Are we okay?”
I stared into those beautiful eyes and wondered how I could ever refuse this man anything. There was no denying it. My heart was in danger, our forced separations intensifying everything when we were together.
“Please, Mare. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I held up a finger before I spun and hurried to the table in my foyer, tugging open the drawer. “Hold on … I think … yup.” I held up the chain, the silver jingling as I extended it toward Jake.
He inspected the fob, a slow grin appearing. “My own set of keys? Thank you.” His genuine smile and big smacking kiss quelled my misgivings, if only a little.
Don’t make me regret my vow to be all in, Jakob. Please, please don’t break
