Even at two a.m. the city lights sparkled, the occasional hollow wail of an emergency vehicle breaking the silence.
I swirled my glass before taking another mouthful of rich red wine. The tart, fruity tones didn’t quite hide the tang of sour milk clinging to the sweater I’d slung over the back of the patio chair earlier. Christophe dragged me away before the soiled garment had reached my laundry. Even now, it didn’t bother me. Babies were babies, and the patch of drool would disappear in the wash.
Christophe’s adamant position on babies hadn’t truly surprised me. The clues were all there, if I’d bothered to examine them. Maybe I hadn’t wanted to, instead busily shaving off layers of stress and despair, enjoying the excitement of a new relationship.
Now, in the earliest hours, sleep evaded me, leaving me no place to hide from the problematic revelations of the day. I liked Christophe, and I enjoyed our time together. No, he didn’t want a traditional life or family, but I understood his logic. I couldn’t even argue against it. His golden heart shone through, even if it was difficult to see at first look, even if he’d deny the depth of his emotion.
The slight rustle, followed by a pair of warm arms slipping around me, made me look up. The man pressed his cheek to mine. “I wondered where you’d gone.” He lifted the bottle sitting on the low table, peering at the label. “Serious wine for serious thoughts?”
I sank into his embrace, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes.
“Ah.” He kissed my hair and perched on the wicker chair beside me. “I’d hoped for a longer reprieve,” he muttered.
I twirled my glass around and around, studying the red liquid as it clung to the sides.
“The moment you held Laney’s newborn, the inevitable tick-tock of that damn clock started.” He stilled my restless hands. “You want a baby?”
“Yeah, sorry.” I wiped my eyes, then summoned the courage to look at him. “Why did you assume I didn’t?”
Christophe slumped further back in the chair, picking at a nail. “It’s not that I assumed. I didn’t want to disappoint you or tell you what I’d already done to prevent babies.” He took my hand. “Seeing all those camps, all that death and destruction, all those kids solidified the fact that the world is not a kind place. Even in the richest countries there’s too much suffering.”
“It’s okay, I understand. I guess I didn’t want to look too hard either. It’s the breaking point, and selfish me, I wanted to just have fun.”
Christophe soft rumbling laugh made me smile. “Oh, Marley, you have a big beautiful heart. You always did. That’s why I harboured an insane, crazy crush on you from afar, but you only had eyes for one guy, so these weeks have been my dream come true.”
I squinted. “You’re from Halifax?”
He nodded. “They used to call me Topher.”
“Wait.” My eyes widened. Topher, the young guy who trailed after Dean and … ohhhh, crap. Jake. “Asshole. You could have mentioned that earlier.”
“Not if I wanted you to take me seriously.” He sighed. “Talk about impossible crushes, especially considering the competition. Anyway, I asked if you were involved, and you said no.”
The look in his eyes, that dreamy expression … I wasn’t sure whether to be pissed off or flattered. Oh, hell. “I thought you were sweet, though you barely said a word.” I sucked back the last of my wine and poured another glass. “You’re a great guy, Christophe.”
“Just not for you, right?”
“Sorry,” I whispered, leaning in to him as he put his arm around me.
“Why aren’t you with him?”
My sideways look was met with a deep sigh.
“It’s a fair question, considering the big-ass ring and the love letter in his leather jacket.”
“Oh, a liar and a snoop.”
“You asked me to get you a sweatshirt yesterday, and I saw them. Surprised you could lift that piece of ice. The jacket I recognized right away. He’s still in love with you, and I’m thinking you love him too.”
“That ring didn’t come from Jake.”
“Oh, the investment guy, huh?”
I shrugged.
“I’d like to be your friend when this is over, but I’m gonna say it anyway. Jake’s a great guy. He was always nice to me, even when others weren’t.”
“What—”
“Marley, just listen. No guy wants to be a placeholder.”
“You’re not.”
“Yeah, I am. I deluded myself into thinking you could be mine, continuously forcing myself into that tiny space left by another man.” Christophe angled toward me, my skin tingling at his gentle cupping of my face. “Just tell me, why did you two break it off?”
I stared at him for several seconds, then said, “Turns out he doesn’t want another kid. That’s my curse. To remain childless.”
“Is it?” He cocked his head. “Depends on how you look at it. Jake has a kiddie, so you wouldn’t be childless. Giving birth doesn’t make you a mother, Marley. Being there makes you a mother.”
I stared into his eyes, my heart pounding. “What?”
“You love him. You always have, so why are you here and not there?” Christophe captured my lips in the gentlest of kisses. “Examine the facts. Be happy. You deserve it.” He stood and headed for the door. “I’ll pack my things.”
“Christophe?”
He halted, one hand resting on the door frame.
“I’ll miss you.”
His chin dipped down. “Goodbye, Marley. It’s been fun.”
Dara led me upstairs to the second floor of the home they’d purchased before their wedding. With its shining hardwood floors, sleek furniture, and airy ambiance, this place suited my friends. Not that I was surprise her house was immaculate and beautifully furnished; the woman had exquisite taste.
She stopped at the second door on the left and motioned to the small but impeccable room, the dark wood of the queen bed contrasted by feminine, yet not fussy, linens. “The bathroom is through there.” She pointed.
“Thanks, Dar.” My heart sank as I spotted a
