“We need to ask the pixies,” he answered. “Either the regular fairies or the cheese ones.”
Laddin pushed to his feet and looked around. “We’re not near the tree where the cheese ones hang out. And the fairy circle was….”
Josh was looking down at his iWatch. “We’re on the far side of the lake. Ground zero is over there.” He waved to the east where, sure enough, Bruce could see the black edge of the lake and the dead trees that surrounded it.
It didn’t matter. Bruce was pretty sure he could call them. After all, some things worked the same whether it was on a Mac or a PC. Clicking worked the same. So, calling out fairy names three times should bring them in an instant.
Then he glanced around at the nearly two dozen people and wolves sprawled on the ground. “I suggest all of you back away.”
Most of them did. Wulfric was especially spry as he bounded to his feet and backed about fifty yards away. “I’ll just confuse the issue,” he said as he moved.
“As will I,” echoed his mother as she joined him.
Josh pointed to a hedge that bordered a road. “I’ve got a support car coming with clothes from there.”
“We’re backing up,” Whisper Guy said. “But we’re not leaving you.”
Everyone nodded, and Bruce was grateful for their support. Laddin, however, remained staunchly by his side, and when Bruce turned to say something, he held up his hand.
“I’m staying,” he said firmly. “You’re not negotiating with those crazies alone, so don’t bother arguing.”
Bruce grinned. “I was going to say thank you.”
“Oh. Okay. You’re welcome.”
With a last look around, he took a deep breath and started to call out. Except when the moment came, he realized he couldn’t exactly remember the full titles. “Oh shit,” he cursed, but Laddin squeezed his arm.
“Grand Cheesy Fetid Feta and Dollarback Erin Rodger-Dodger, we call you. Fetid Feta. Erin Rodger-Dodger. Fetid Feta! Erin Rodger-Dodger!” The last was said with a note of command, and Bruce was pleased when the two fairies appeared before him.
Sadly, that feeling didn’t last for long.
Chapter 23
NEGOTIATING WITH TODDLERS
THE GRAND Cheesy arrived while Laddin was calling Erin. The still-big fairy blinked into the space before them, midscream.
“Me!” He stomped his foot hard enough to shake the ground.
Then, while Laddin was drawing breath to call again, Erin Rodger-Dodger appeared. She took a moment to look around, spotted the Grand Cheesy, and pointed at him. “You!”
She didn’t have the size or voice to match Fetid Feta, but when she stomped her foot, the ground trembled just as much. Then she rushed forward like a football player and banged into Cheesy’s leg.
“You!” she repeated.
He looked around, clearly disoriented, but the moment he saw her, he stomped his foot again. “Me!”
She tumbled backward from the force of his stomp but then quickly regained her feet as she adjusted her hat as if she was tilting a Stetson across her brow. Then she threw something at him and a tiny firework exploded across his knees. The burst of bright red was impressive for such a tiny charge.
“You!”
“Stop that!” Bruce snapped, but the fairies were too involved with each other to notice. Each time they bellowed or stomped or exploded something, the impact seemed to grow.
“Feta! Erin!” Laddin tried to step between the two, but it didn’t work. Worse, the next firework burned his legs, and he jumped back in pain.
Bruce caught him, of course. And one shared glance between the two of them was all they needed to make a decision. They needed to get the fairies’ attention, and yelling wasn’t working.
Laddin reached out at the exact same moment that Bruce grabbed his hand. The minute they connected palm to palm, warm current flowed straight from Bruce into Laddin. He was careful this time with his thoughts as he pictured both fairies silent and paying attention to him.
“Be quiet,” he said. He didn’t yell it, but the sound seemed to roll through the field.
Both fairies abruptly stopped.
Wow. Laddin looked at Bruce.
“Can you maybe send less power?”
Bruce nodded. “I’ll try. Maybe try to draw a little less too.”
“Got it.” This was going to take a little experimentation. Meanwhile, he invested his next words with less force, more casualness. “So we’d like to talk to you, if that’s okay.”
Erin turned to him. “We hear you, Windy Wolf Rider.”
Laddin frowned a moment, wondering at the label. Was that a reference to sex with—
“Not important,” Bruce muttered.
Definitely not important. Embarrassing, yes. Important, no. “So…,” he said as he looked at Bruce. Up until now, Bruce had taken the lead in the fairy negotiations. He was the one with the fairy power. But it was now flowing from Bruce to him and the pixies were looking at him, so he decided to take a stab at a solution.
“We’re looking for the demon that fried the lake and is poisoning the ground. Do you know where he is?”
In unison, both fairies said, “Yes.”
Laddin inhaled sharply, as did Bruce. In fact, he guessed that anyone within hearing distance took an excited breath.
“Will you take us there?”
In unison, both fairies said, “No.”
Crap.
“Why not?” Laddin asked.
Erin lifted her chin. “He is very big.” She glared at Fetid Feta. “Much bigger than you.”
“We want to meet him anyway,” Laddin pressed.
“And we didn’t make him that size,” Bruce added.
Erin stomped her foot. “Yes, you did!” Fortunately, her foot stomp didn’t echo through the field. That was progress, but the way Fetid Feta bickered back at her was not.
“No,” Feta said, pointing at Erin. “You made him big with power from them.” He swept this finger at everyone in the field.
“You are big!” she snapped back. “With power from him!” She pointed at Bruce.
Wow, it was like trying to talk to toddlers. Or two spoiled actors. Laddin held up his hand and poured a little of Bruce’s power into his words. “Answer my
