Leah looked down at her daughter. “And one day, he was testing a theory. He was trying to see if he’d managed to bring himself back. He asked me to look hundreds of years into the future. I started to disintegrate.”
She stopped talking. Claudia made a noise that almost sounded like “Mama”.
Leah shook herself. “Claudia was in his arms. He was using her against me. Threatening to hurt her. When I started fading, she gave all his energy to me. To save me.”
Felix tried to imagine being a ghost like Harriet or Norma or Fabian. They all seemed obsessed with amassing power and energy and it only ever seemed to make their lives more complicated. Usually shorter, too. If Fabian hadn’t been messing around with experiments, he would have survived centuries more.
“That’s why Rufus and Vini hate you?” Rima asked. “Surely they’ve forgiven you by now. If this was – when was this?”
“Sometime in the forties.”
“They must have realized that it was an accident. They’ve had over eighty years to get over it.”
Felix tried to imagine being here eighty years ago, when Fabian was still a ghost and Leah was under his contol. What sort of changes would Fabian have made to Felix’s memory, to stop him rebelling? He shivered.
“They’re never going to get over it. I know they aren’t. He was their brother; their hero; their role model.” Leah rubbed her eye. “This can only end one way. Either they die, or we do.” She touched Claudia’s cheek. “And I’m not going to let it be her.”
There was a silence, and then Kasper said, “Go on then! What do we do?”
“Kasper,” Felix hissed. “What has got into you?”
Kasper must be in shock. Did he have a ghost’s version of PTSD?
Kasper shrugged at him. “We should plan something! The Tricksters could burst down here any second now. Listen, why don’t we go up to the foyer and yell until they come and find us? Why are we hiding here? Let’s get on with it.”
“You’d be destroyed instantly,” Leah said flatly.
“Right, that’s it!” Felix said, holding up his hands. “Kasper, you have to tell us what the hell the Tricksters did to you. Because this isn’t you. You’ve never been this impulsive. What did you give them, to get that eyelid?”
Rima added, “You heard Leah. They can mess with your fear and your memories. They’re dangerous, and they had you alone in the basement. They could have done anything. Tell us what happened!”
Leah gasped. “Oh, Kasper. You didn’t give them your fear, did you?”
Kasper’s expression dropped. “How did you know that?”
Felix’s stomach heaved up into his throat, as Leah said, “They’ve done it before. It’s one of their favourite tricks.”
“What do you mean, he gave them his fear?” Felix felt like he was going to faint.
“They took it,” Leah said. “The whole thing. That’s why he’s been acting so strangely. We’re all terrified, and meanwhile he can’t feel a thing.”
“At all?” Felix felt all the blood leave his head.
Kasper reluctantly nodded. “Nothing. Not even nervousness or anticipation. It’s all gone.”
Felix had known that the Tricksters fed on emotions, but he hadn’t realized that they could take them away completely.
Leah winced. “Kasper, I wish you’d spoken to me before you did this. The Tricksters always ask for fear or worry, because that sounds like no big deal. People think they can live without these emotions, so they agree, in exchange for getting whatever it is they want. And then they regret it.”
“Why?” Felix asked, terrified. “What happens to them?”
“Well, you know how strange Greg was. Humans need fear. All our instincts revolve around it. Once ghosts lose that, it’s like they’ve lost the last of their humanity.”
Felix imagined Kasper acting like Greg. He would lose everything that made him Kasper. Everything Felix loved about him.
“This can’t be happening.” Felix ran his hands through his hair. “We didn’t even need the eyelid in the end. Kasper, that trade wasn’t worth losing your humanity over!”
Leah rushed to add, “It won’t happen immediately. That kind of thing takes a while. But it will build up, over time.”
Kasper looked resigned. “You’re right. It’s changed everything. I can’t trust my own judgement any more. I don’t know if I’m making the right decisions. If—” He looked at Felix, and cut himself off suddenly.
Felix froze. “If what?”
No one spoke. Rima coughed, in the way she did when she was suddenly feeling very awkward.
“Oh God.” Felix’s voice was higher than it had been a moment ago. “This is why you kissed me, isn’t it?”
Kasper rubbed the back of his neck, staring at the ground. Acid rose in Felix’s throat. Kasper had been desperately avoiding confronting his feelings for Felix for twenty-five years. Of course he would only ever give in when he’d lost his fear. When he had nothing inside him, monitoring his behaviour.
“You only kissed me because you’d lost your fear,” Felix said, the realization hitting him like a hammer to the head. “Do you – do you even want to be with me? Or was it just – a bad decision?”
Rima and Leah turned away, giving them a moment of privacy. When Kasper reached for him, he backed away. His entire chest was collapsing.
“Tell me,” Felix said.
“I – I don’t know,” Kasper admitted, against his will. “I’ve been asking myself the same question. I’m sorry. It all happened so fast.”
Felix shuddered. “How did I not see?”
“Felix…” Kasper said, looking guilty. “It’s OK.”
“I don’t think you’re qualified to decide what is and isn’t OK right now!” Felix tipped forwards, burying his head in his hands. The implications of this kept rolling over him in waves, until he was drowning. “I’ve
