My cheeks are aflame as I put my bag on the couch and make my way down the hall to my bedroom and the bathroom. I need to get rid of all the dirt and grime of the day, I can’t stand how sticky I feel.
Why is it my luck that I’ve had months, years, of barely running into any shifters, at least not having their attention on me, and now suddenly they seem to be everywhere?
I was doing so well. I felt like my plan of avoiding shifters for the rest of my life could work, like I could make this happen, but now I’m doubting that.
When I was at the party today, it looked fun. Everything looked like it was going well and everyone seemed happy. If that’s what shifter life, especially shifter life as an Omega, is going to be like, then I might be able to deal with it.
But I also know the darker side, the side they don’t show a mere human like me. Even today, I could still see glimpses of it. Omegas who move a little too abruptly when their Alpha calls their name, just a little, but nobody pays attention to it. Because whatever happens between an Alpha and an Omega is between them and nobody else, so everyone keeps quiet. Even worse were the whispers of who was old enough to go into heat and who had found an Alpha, or Beta, to mate with, who they were expecting to have a baby around this time next year...
The people at the party were definitely not trying to hide that they were shifters, and I, ‘obviously’ being a human girl, was mostly ignored, since I supposedly don’t know anything about those things anyway. It just reminded me of why I didn’t want this, why I’ve been trying to stay away from shifter society for so long.
But then there was Max... His eyes on me were... I don’t know, they felt heavy, like once he found me, he couldn’t let me go. Like a dog not letting go of a bone or a brand new toy. Once he had me in his sights, I was his to guard.
He didn’t act possessively or anything, or stupidly arrogant like the two shifter guys at the cafe, he was more of a shadow following me everywhere, always there to make sure I was safe, protected. And even though I don’t want it to, it felt kind of good... He was trying not to be obvious about it, pretending to be looking after the kids, playing with them, being around me without trying to be my whole focus.
It was nice, in a strange way. I miss having someone around who’s just there, who I can be with without any other expectations.
I don’t have many friends. I’ve got a hard time trusting people and since I’m hiding so much of myself, it would be unfair to them. I don’t like lying, I hate it, but this is the only way to keep myself safe. So I take the other option, if I don’t become friends with people, I won’t have to lie to them. Simple, effective, but also lonely.
When the other guy, Liam, showed up, Max became less my shadow and he disappeared into the background more, even though he obviously didn’t stop paying attention to me. But something else changed too, the look in Max’ eyes changed, became less happy, less carefree, more serious. I don’t know what Liam said, the guy doesn’t look like someone who’d say something painful on purpose, he doesn’t seem to take life seriously enough to do that, but he still must have said something to Max that made him more guarded.
Liam’s very perceptive. He started asking me questions in the car that were coming a little too close, and while he changed subjects, I could see that he’d still remember it later. He might not comment on what’s going on, but he remembers.
I throw the princess dress onto my bed, I’ll wash that later, and then go into the bathroom, stepping under the hot stream of the shower.
I need to put these guys out of my mind. It’s no use to think of them, they’re part of a world that I refuse to be a part of. A world that isn’t safe, a world that won’t let me be myself. So, no matter how good being around them felt, I have to stay away. For their sake, for my sake. For my safety.
I check my calendar on my phone as I sort through the strips of medication. It’s nearing the end of October. That means that I’ve got three or four weeks before mating season starts... Three or four weeks before I’ll go into heat, unless I can get my hands on heat suppressants.
I also need to stock up on meds that help me suppress the pheromones that all Omegas emit all the time, and the meds that help suppress my shifting ability, that make me ‘human’ for a lack of better description. And a handful of other meds, either to counter specific shifter physiology or to counter the side effects of the medications I’m taking.
Fuck.
How am I going to pay for all of that when my car needs repairs too? The repairs will probably cost me the same as a month of pheromone suppressants, if not more, and I’m already stretching my budget as much as I can.
Eating at the cafe when I can, snacking on the things we can’t sell that day, and always shopping for the best deals in stores. But with my crappy car... I don’t have any savings, none at all.
I probably won’t even be able to pay for whatever needs to be fixed on
