“Talk her out of it, then. You can get anyone to do anything.”
“No.” I look up at him. “I talked Koval into rebelling and look what happened. No more. I will not get anyone to do anything. If Naomi insists on coming, so be it.”
Kadir leans forward, his expression concerned. “Mirak said you didn’t listen,” he says quietly. “I was hoping that as time went on, it would sink in. First was responsible for the uprising. Not you. You didn’t cause their deaths, Danek. You’ve been carrying this guilt for years.” His lips twist wryly. “If we count the time we spent in stasis, you’ve been shouldering this burden for a thousand years. But it’s not your fault. This was First’s plan, hatched in concert with the Supreme Mother. You are not responsible for what happened to them.”
I don’t want to discuss this. Not with Kadir, not with anyone.
Our glasses are empty and in need of a refill. I push myself to my feet, seizing on any excuse to escape this conversation. “What news of First?” I ask when I return, hoping to change the subject. “Have the spies been able to track down his location?”
Kadir knows I’m changing the topic—he’s not stupid. He eyes me for a long moment, and then lets it go. “No,” he responds. “There’s no sign of him. I don’t like it.”
“Tarish is hopeful that he’s given up.”
He laughs bitterly. “If only.” He sips his beer, staring into the distance. “I don’t have a good feeling about First. We have to find him, and we have to take the fight to him. All of us. Together.”
Kadir is not the only one uneasy about First; I think we all are. “I’ve agreed to go to Noturn, and I’ll keep my word. I’ll find out if Cindifin is allowing the High Empire to build their prisons there, consequences be damned. Then I’ll come back, and the five of us will search for First.”
And when we find him, we will kill him. Because as long as he is alive, the universe will never be safe.
We finish our drinks and take our glasses to the recycler. “Oh, by the way,” Kadir says casually, as we head out the door. “About Naomi.”
“What about her?” I ask warily.
“You should take her out. Get to know her.”
“What? Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asks, his voice innocent. “You’re supposed to be bonded. What happens if someone asks you what her favorite color is, or what she likes to eat? You wouldn’t have a clue. You’d blow your cover in the first knur.”
“Hmm.” He’s obviously baiting me, but his words still make sense. I might have sat at Naomi’s bedside for more hours than I can count, but I don’t know anything about her.
Not true, a voice prompts. You know the way her lips taste. You know she smells of elgrol flowers and dokate fruit and something else that’s uniquely her. You can still feel her breasts mashing against your chest, her arms wrapped around you, her brown eyes clouded with desire...
“You have a week before you leave for Noturn,” Kadir continues. “It makes perfect sense to spend time with Naomi. Get to know her. Practice being a couple. Make sure you don’t jump like a startled karvil the first time she touches you.”
I grunt. Her kiss had taken me by surprise, this much is true. But I did not jump like a startled karvil.
Well, maybe a little.
“Like you said yourself, you want this mission to be a success. The sooner you sort out what’s going on on that planet, the sooner we can look for First.”
“Is this some kind of game that the four of you are playing? Ruhan offers to give me sex advice, Caeron forbid, and you’re telling me to go on a date? What do Mirak and Sixth have in store for me?”
He looks like he’s trying hard not to laugh. “No need to get offended.” He looks out of the window, and his face breaks out into a smile. “Ah, Alice and Naomi are back from their run. I have to go. See you tomorrow?”
“Sure,” I reply absently.
Can I fool everyone on Noturn into thinking that Naomi and I are bondmates? Probably. Will it be easier if we’re more comfortable with each other? Yes. Definitely.
Gah.
5
Naomi
It’s the first time I’ve run outside the rebel compound. It’s a beautiful day, warm and sunny. The purple sky is wispy with clouds, and the air has a hint of a breeze to it. Alice has told me that the trail we’re taking is alongside a lake, and as we run, I can see flashes of blue through the tall leafy trees.
And for the first mile, I don’t notice any of it, because my brain is stuck on the first person I saw when I emerged into the yard.
Danek.
Shirtless Danek.
Sweaty, muscled, half-naked Danek.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Alice calls from over her shoulder. She’s familiar with the trail and is therefore leading the way. “This place almost reminds me of home.”
Purple sky aside, I see what she means. It’s the woods. They remind me a little of Sunkhaze Meadows. Will’s parents owned a small cabin on the north-western edge of the wildlife refuge, and every summer, the two of us would spend a week there, hiking during the day, swimming in the icy cold river, building a fire at night and toasting marshmallows on the flames.
“It even smells like home. Pine and moss
