Looking at the phone in my hand, I let out a sigh and find Benji’s number. Before I press ‘call,’ though, I hesitate. Lucy meets my eye for a moment, then turns away and heads down the hallway with her son.
Benji will understand.
Right?
25
Benji
“I don’t understand.” My voice is flat. I stand in the middle of the airfield hangar, staring at the wall and seeing nothing. “What do you mean, you’re leaving?”
“It’s just for a couple of days,” Rae says. Her voice sounds tinny. “I have to see them before they leave.”
“Why, though?” I frown, raking my fingers through my hair. “Why now? Why not go meet them in Milan in a week? A month? Next year? Why do you have to miss the party?”
“Their lawyer is getting them to sign the papers tomorrow, Benji. I need to be there. They want to transfer the house to me.”
“So you’re going to collect your inheritance? Is that it?” I frown, wondering why my chest is suddenly in agony. I rub my sternum with my palm to get the ache to go away.
“No.” She sighs. “That’s not it at all. It’s just my last chance to talk to them before it’s all finalized. I don’t want the house, Benji. I want them to come here and meet Lucy, Roman, and Sawyer.”
“Right.”
“I’ll be back in a few days,” she says.
“Uh-huh.”
“Please don’t be mad.”
“I have to go. Finn’s waving me down to do the final checks on the plane. We have a full day of jumps today.”
“Benji…”
“I have to go. Have fun in Texas. Bye.” I hang up the phone and throw it in a desk drawer, leaving it behind as I head toward the aircraft. My heart beats erratically. My head is a mess.
None of this makes sense.
Why does she have to leave now? Doesn’t she know that Saturday is a big deal to me? Why is she putting her shitty, selfish parents ahead of me? Who cares about the house?
I swallow back bile, not wanting to admit my worst fears.
It all comes down to money.
Her parents called, promised her the house, and that’s more important than anything that could be going on up here. More important than Sarah’s party. More important than being my date.
More important than me.
She’s just like my father, my mother, Harold, and everyone before them. She chooses money over integrity every time. Convinces herself she’s doing the right thing, but I know the truth. It’s greed. Plain and simple.
Rae can tell herself she’s going down there to try to reconcile with her parents, but we all know that’s not true. I’ve heard the way Sawyer talks about them. I know they disowned Lucy when she was pregnant with Roman.
They’re not the type of people who magically change their minds and become good parents. Retirement doesn’t alter someone’s brain and give them a different personality.
Doesn’t Rae see that?
Maybe it’s me who’s the fool. I wanted her to be someone she’s not. I craved some kind of companionship, and I saw qualities in her that don’t exist.
She’s the person Sawyer said she was, way back before I met her. Selfish, self-absorbed, and always putting money ahead of everything.
Finn claps me on the shoulder and I jump, snapped away from my thoughts.
“You okay, bud?” His eyebrows tug together.
I nod. “Fine.”
“Something on your mind?”
I almost tell him about Rae, but that would mean admitting I cared about her. Cared. Past tense.
It could be a blessing in disguise that she’s leaving before the party. I don’t have to tell anyone that we were involved. We can just part ways, ignoring the inferno that burned between us.
Someone who leaves town to go collect a paycheck when she knows this weekend is important to me isn’t the type of person I want to be associated with.
I glance at Finn, shaking my head. “All good. You ready to do these jumps?”
Finn stares at me for a few moments and finally nods. We head for the plane together, and my heart rages inside my chest.
My mind tugs at me, asking me to call her back. To talk to her. Explain how important this weekend is to me. Ask her why she feels like she has to leave.
But my feet carry me toward the plane, and I leave those thoughts behind, locked in a drawer beside my phone.
Finn’s eyes are on me as I fumble to do my final checks, so I do my best to pull myself together. I put Rae at the back of my mind, buried under layers of defenses. I lock up the way she makes me feel in a heavy steel locker, and then I stuff it down to the dark recesses of my heart.
When my mind is clear, my hands stop shaking. I glance at Finn, who looks satisfied.
We load up the customers into the plane. I listen to their excited chatter, hearing nothing.
When I get home that evening, I almost expect Rae to be there. Maybe she changed her mind. But all I find is a packet of store-bought chocolate chip cookies on my front porch and a note that just says, They’re not homemade, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry.
I throw the whole thing in the trash.
Cookies? Really?
She misses the most important event I’ve ever planned, and she thinks a couple of shitty store-bought treats will make up for it?
What Rae doesn’t understand is that she’s shown me her true colors. By leaving, she’s told me exactly where her priorities lie—and they’re not with me.
But my house feels too quiet, and my thoughts are too loud. I take a quick shower, change, and head down to the Blue Cat Bar, hoping a few drinks will settle my nerves and smooth over my breaking heart.
I sit at the bar and order a beer, hunching my shoulders and feeling just as bad as I did the first day Rae came to town.
And just
