I don’t want to cry. I feel like an idiot. I really thought my parents would stay true to their word. I thought they’d come up here. I thought we’d have a reunion, and there’d at least be a chance that we could be a real family.
Now?
I just feel like a fool. It seems so obvious in retrospect.
Sawyer scoffs, shaking his head. “They were never going to come up here, Rae. I told you that. They don’t care about us. Lucy and I might as well not exist in their universe.”
“I guess I didn’t want to believe that.”
My brother’s face softens, and he lets out a sigh. “You know, everyone thinks I’m the idealistic one, but I think it’s actually you, Rae. You just refuse to let go of this idea of family. You refuse to see what’s right in front of you. You get to choose who your family is. But if you’re choosing Mom and Dad, you’re choosing wrong.”
I bite my lip so hard I taste blood, but it’s no use. Tears flow down my face as I collapse in on myself, finally hearing the truth of his words.
I’ve been fighting for the wrong battles. Chasing the wrong thing. Looking for family in all the wrong places.
My family is here. My brother and sister—they’re the ones who hug me and tell me they love me. Both of them put their arms around me, holding me close until my sobs quiet down. Even Sawyer’s eyes are misty when he pulls away, and he shakes his head.
“I told you you were being naive,” he says, a sad smile stretching his lips.
“I didn’t want to listen.” I sniffle, wiping my nose on my sleeve. “Now Benji hates me.”
Sawyer lets out a sigh, squeezing my shoulder.
He doesn’t say anything to comfort me. Sawyer knows Benji, and he knows it’s most likely over between us. I broke his trust by leaving. There’s no coming back from that.
Straightening myself up, I look at my siblings. “I’m going to resign from the board, and I’ll insist that Mom and Dad take the house back. It’s only been a couple of days, I’m sure I can work something out.”
Lucy give me a soft smile, nodding. “Cut them out of your life, just like they cut us out of theirs. You don’t need them anymore.”
The thought stings. Even though I tried my best, I still don’t want to give up on the idea of family. But when I think about losing Benji, and I look at my brother and sister, I know I need my siblings so much more than I need my parents.
Sawyer’s right. I have to choose my family—and I choose Sawyer and Lucy. The people who love me for me. The ones who forgive and accept. The ones who are here beside me, not in some luxurious mansion in Italy.
How long will I chase my parents’ approval? How long will I try to mend my broken family, when neither side wants to come together?
It’s too much to carry on my own shoulders. Too heavy. Too impossible.
For once, I need to make a decision for me. Truly for me. For what will make me happier in the long run. I have to choose to support the people who truly care about me and cut out those who drag me down.
Letting go of my Brady-Bunch dreams isn’t easy, but it has to be done. I’ve already lost enough. I don’t want to lose any more.
So, straightening my shoulders, I give my siblings a nod. “I’ll draft a letter of resignation. I might have to go back down to Houston to speak to the board in person and tie up some details with the house. But I’m coming back. Permanently.”
“And you’ll be free.” Sawyer smiles, his eyes shining. “Take it from someone who knows, breaking that chain around your neck is the best feeling in the world.”
I take a deep breath, wanting to believe his words. It hurts to let go of my dreams of a happy family, but it feels good to think about being free. To think about coming back to Woodvale and starting my life.
Really starting it—for me.
31
Benji
The past two weeks have been torture.
How is it possible for one woman to be so beautiful? So tender? So wrong?
She looks at me with those eyes, and I see a future in them—but then I remember what she did. What she chose. What she’ll choose again, given the chance.
Money.
Always money.
You can call it stability. You can call it providing for her family, but the truth of the matter is, she’s so worried about the balance in her bank account, that she was willing to walk right over me to boost it up.
As much as my body groans for her, I know it’ll only end in heartache.
I’m not that much of a masochist. I won’t willingly pulverize my own heart to be with her, when I know she’ll just do it again.
Didn’t she accept her parents’ house? Didn’t she take the spot on the board of directors?
She’s not living in Woodvale. Not really. Rae has a backup plan and a safety net deployed, ready to catch her if things here don’t work out.
She’s not the same as Sawyer, who gave everything up to live on his own. She’s not the same as Lucy, who’s doing her best to better herself.
Rae won’t cut the apron strings, and I know they’ll always take precedence over me.
But two weeks after Sarah’s party, on the following Monday, I head into the garage for work, and I glance at the office.
The lights are off.
I work all morning, trying my best to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach that tells me she’s gone.
Isn’t this what I knew would happen? I knew she’d run back down to Houston to do Mommy and Daddy’s bidding. She could sell a thousand Aston Martins and it wouldn’t mean a thing, because she’s still taking a paycheck from them. She
