Bruce whimpered again. He’d fallen to the ground and was cradling his foot while he rocked pitifully back and forth. Rosemarie still hadn’t made any progress in getting up, and she’d worn herself out trying.
It was then I realized there was only one reason why my mother would have known where we were, and I glared at Rosemarie. “You texted her, didn’t you?
“Don’t blame her, honey,” my mother said. “I made her promise to let me know the second y’all found Vince. I knew you’d be too busy seeing to the details. Why in the world are you dressed like you belong on Swamp People, and why does Scarlet look like Don King?”
“It’s been a busy afternoon,” I said. “And before anyone else does anything stupid—because believe me right now when I tell you the list of stupid is long—everyone needs to know that the police and FBI are both on the way. It’s cuffs or body bags. Your choice.”
“You people are crazy,” Jimmy said.
“Don King?” Scarlet asked. “Did my hair fall off?” Then she looked at my mother and narrowed her eyes. “Well, at least I don’t look like a cast member of Xanadu.”
“I like your family very much,” Angelica said. “It reminds me of Puerto Rico.”
“I don’t mean to be rude,” I said. “But you seem like the kind of woman who’d have shot things up and burned it to the ground by now. What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to save Vinny, of course,” she said. “I couldn’t let these morons have another go at him. They might actually get lucky and kill him.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Jimmy asked. “We all agreed to tie up loose ends.”
“No, you needed to tie up loose ends,” Angelica said. “I needed to save Vinny.”
“Vinny?” my mother asked, her eyebrows almost touching her hairline. She looked at me like I had something to do with it. “She’s calling him Vinny?”
“Relax, loca,” Angelica said. “I know I missed my chance for the po-po sandwich.”
“I did LSD once,” Scarlet said. “Nothing made sense. I feel like that now. What’s a po-po sandwich?”
“I’ll tell you later, Aunt Scarlet,” I told her. And then I looked at Angelica. “So you’re not here to kill us all? You’re one of the good guys?”
She pursed her lips. I could tell that wasn’t a description she was fond of. “For today,” she said. “Like I said while you were eavesdropping, any loose ends belong to them. I don’t care what’s in those files. I’m a free woman. But everyone else is fair game. Of course, there are too many people now who know my fake identity. I’ll have to make another, or at least make examples of anyone who tries to hunt me down for revenge. I do enjoy a good revenge killing.”
“It really cleanses the soul, doesn’t it,” Scarlet said, agreeing.
“This is how you repay loyalty?” Jimmy asked, rage darkening his face.
The whump, whump, whump was louder now, and I really wished they’d hurry up. It wasn’t easy holding a gun up for that long. Especially since I’d skimped on the weight training and upped my donut intake ever since I found out I was pregnant.
Angelica arched a brow. “I choose where I place my loyalty. Charlie and Vinny were always good to me. They never took money from me. They just did it because it was the right thing to do.” She shrugged. “It’s weird, but it’s a very sexy trait.”
“Just a reminder that he’s married,” my mother called out.
“We know, loca,” Angelica said, rolling her eyes, and then she looked at me. “She needs to take a pill.”
“I’ve been telling her that for years,” Scarlet said. “I kept a cyanide tablet in my locket for years.”
“Could someone help me up?” Rosemarie asked. “My arms are starting to fall asleep, and all this mud is making me slide all over the place. I’m slick as a greased pig.”
“You are very lucky,” Angelica said to my mother. “Vinny is very handsome and virile. He could make your old shriveled eggs sing.”
“Eww,” I said, scrunching my nose.
“Though he is not so sexy right now with the drool running out of his mouth,” she said, looking down at Vince.
“You should see him leave his underwear on the floor,” my mother said.
Angelica smiled. “My Carmen did the same,” she said. “Men are the same in all cultures. Vinny told me your love story. It is muy bella. Twenty-five years is a long time.”
“Oh,” my mother said, flustered, and then she looked at me.
“We’re going to talk about this later,” I said. “Because Jimmy and Bruce mentioned you and Vince had a thing a long time ago too. What is that all about?”
“Your father and I were on a break,” my mother said. “He met some dispatcher, lost his mind, and moved out for a little while. So Vince and I got close. It’s no big deal. It’s all in the past, and it was never something you needed to worry about.”
My eyes widened. “No big deal?” I asked. “You and Vince hooked up when I was a kid? And Dad didn’t kill him? And you didn’t kill Dad for the dispatcher?”
“Everyone worked it all out,” she said. “Eventually. And I really don’t like airing our dirty laundry in front of strangers.”
“They’re trying to kill us,” I said. “I don’t think they care about your dirty laundry.”
“It was a real good fight,” Scarlet said, eyes bright. “Charlie socked Vince right in the nose. There was blood everywhere. I like to see a good, healthy fight. Really gets my lady juices going.”
“TMI,” Angelica said. “This is some Real Housewives shit.”
“Try not to curse in front of the baby,” Rosemarie said, spinning around on her back. “We don’t
